It is now three weeks since dear Baba left his physical form, and it is apparent to me that he is just as Omnipresent, if not more so, than ever. No doubt millions of devotees all over the globe will be having the same thoughts, having experienced such as I have, the power of Swami’s love since his “departure”.
This demonstration of the awesome power of Sri Sathya Sai reminds me of my experiences during the first few days of my visit to Prasanthi Nilayam during October 2009. At one stage I ended up sitting on a wall in the ashram blubbing like a child. The reason being that The Avatar very rarely guides us and touches us in ways that we expect. I had felt Baba’s love in my heart for many years, indeed I had been reduced to tears of joy on many occasions by the merest touch of this most Divine Spirit. Now here I was in the very grounds of his “house”, The Abode of The Highest Peace, basking in the Avatar’s love, yet all I had experienced was hassle and a feeling of great isolation*. This is not what I expected, and I was in despair.
But the Avatar always knows what he is doing and this situation was no different. During those first few days on the ashram I experienced having no control over my life whatsoever. I experienced feeling as insignificant as a single grain of sand in the Sahara Desert. I felt as though I was being controlled like a puppet; it was as though there was some unseen force pulling the strings and my body was moving in accordance with this motion. Every move I made, every corner I turned came to a dead end, a brick wall. I was completely helpless….. and that was frightening, believe me. It was as though my entire life flashed before me (though not literally, it was just a feeling) and the conclusion was that the whole lot, all I had seen, done and experienced was of no consequence whatsoever. It had no significance, no meaning; I was frightened. Why had God in human form called me to his house to treat me in this way. My first thought was to condemn Baba for “letting me down”. Another thought told me that there was a reason for this, but the result was total confusion. But God knows best!
As time went on the realisation came to me that this was Swami’s way of giving me a first hand demonstration of his awesome power. He knows each of us inside out. he knows all our thoughts even before we think them, but most importantly…. he knows our hearts and he knows exactly what each of us NEEDS, as opposed to what we think we want, in order to grow spiritually. For some people Baba manifested rings and necklaces out of thin air, for others he materialised vibhuti ash, other people were given personal interviews, but in my case Swami chose to frighten the life out of me in order to demonstrate his Divinity. Don’t you just love him!
* For a fuller explanation please refer to my book Astral Travelling, The Avatar and Me, UKUnpublished ISBN 978-1-84944-073-8