Portal Of Love


One door closes, another one opens as the soul flits from the metaphysical to the physical, backwards and forwards until it no longer has an agenda to fulfill. We have come to know this process of returning to the metaphysical as “death,” ( the name alone would suggest some sort of horrendous experience). However, this is our perception of death in accordance with our conditioning. Apart from what we have been told by other people, we have also been conditioned by TV and film with a constant barrage of thrillers and horror films depicting pain, suffering and death at its most abominable and horrific.

In truth, there is no such thing as death. There is only life, which is never ending and eternal. Not only that, the soul will not return to the metaphysical until it chooses to do so; until it has completed the task it came to the physical to perform. Far from being something horrendous, death is a very important part of life and represents a vital part of the soul’s experience as it continues its journey of evolution.

Death is, in fact, a “Portal of Love” that lights the way as we enter the next stage of our journey.

With Love.


Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as “enlightenment.” In our ignorance, we use the word when we are engaged in discussions around the subject, but it is only for the sake of using suitable vocabulary to fit the conversation. Enlightenment is nothing more than the realisation that we are already enlightened, we always were and we always will be. When we are slaves to the ego, we are either completely unconscious, or we have the knowledge that we are consciousness/spirit currently occupying a body, but at the same time we believe that we are on a “spiritual journey” in order to become what we call “enlightened.” You cannot become what you already are.

The genuinely enlightened souls who walk among us would never, ever make the statement, “I am enlightened” because to speak of enlightenment only affirms the existence of the state of being unenlightened, in other words it is an example of dualism expressed by one who is immersed in the illusion of duality (ego). In consciousness, there is only consciousness and nothing else; this is ultimate reality, there are no “states” and there is nothing to achieve. We can say that enlightenment is the knowing, experientially, of the nature of consciousness (which is our true nature).

The Wheel Of Life

I rise and fall                                                                                                                              Through pleasure and pain                                                                                                        I’m on the wheel of life

The bitter, the sweet                                                                                                                  It’s all the same                                                                                                                          I’m on the wheel of life

Joy and grief                                                                                                                              The smooth and the strife                                                                                                          I’m on the wheel of life

I flit from one pole to the other                                                                                                  The opposites bring their treasure                                                                                            Jewels and gold                                                                                                                        My experience unfolds

I Am The Wheel of Life


I’m writing this post with my UK subscribers in mind, however, I’m sure that readers from all around the world will also be able to relate to the central theme.

Photo by sammy-williams-unsplash

At the moment in the UK, we are seemingly lurching from crisis to crisis, with each new event appearing to be more diabolical than the previous. We had the pandemic; now the cost of living crisis, the energy crises and a few other things thrown in for good measure. As expected, the mass media is taking great delight in churning out headlines of doom and gloom that the majority of people have fallen for, hook, line and sinker. As a result, the vast majority of the population is living in constant fear. This may be normal for the masses, but what makes the current situation slightly different is that it just seems to be relentless. Certainly in my lifetime, I have never known such a chain of events on the scale that we have at this moment in time. Metaphorically, it is as though the mental health of the vast majority of people in this country is being battered relentlessly by giant waves, with no sign of a let-up. The obvious thing to alleviate this problem would be for everyone to throw away their television sets and stop reading newspapers. WHAT?! I know, I know… I can hear you shouting expletives at the screen; how would Brits be able to survive without Coronation Street, Eastenders and the super-soaring, rip-roaring Sun?

Quite easily actually. But, we all know that people are not going to throw away their TVs and stop reading newspapers. After all, why would anyone allow their pain, fear and suffering to be interrupted by happiness?

On a more serious note, I’m going to share here what works for me, and I will add that I’m not pretending to be some sort of guru and I’m the first to admit that I sometimes fall into the traps that my egoic mind sets for me. But in the main, I don’t do too badly in a crisis, and that is due to having faith in the benevolence of our wonderful universe and a very basic understanding of the laws of physics. The first two things to understand are that:

There is always enough.

There is more where that came from.

Does anyone seriously believe that our wonderfully benevolent universe, or Mother Nature, if you want to use another name, doesn’t have enough to go around? There is, always has been and always will be, enough for everybody. The fact that it does not appear to be so has nothing to do with Mother Nature. The truth is that the collective consciousness of our species doesn’t care enough to stop people dying of hunger and a lack of fresh, clean drinking water. There is no need for anyone in our society to go without the basics for what is needed to live a comfortable life. If you know in your heart those two things, “there is always enough” and “there is more where that came from,” your needs will always be met.

Now onto the laws of physics. You don’t have to be Einstein; far from it, this is very basic stuff. The first thing to understand here is that nothing exists except consciousness, which is in a constant state of flux and vibrates at varying degrees of subtlety. In our physical world, consciousness has modulated itself into its grossest form, which we call “matter.” For the sake of this article, hereon I’m going to refer to consciousness in all of its varying forms as “energy.”  It’s also worth mentioning before we go any further, that centuries before humans invented religions and scriptures, the first spiritual texts told us that spirituality and science are two sides of the same coin and cannot be separated. It’s a good thing that I remembered to slip that in because I am now about to hit you with a paradox.

Energy consists of zillions of separate cells, which are actually not separate at all. These cells also communicate with each other.

Yes, every cell has its own intelligence and metaphorically speaking, energy cells “talk” to each other. If two or more cells find that they are speaking the same language, they are attracted to each other and they come together in a creative manner. This is where the laws of attraction and cause and effect come into play, and it is these two laws that most concern us. Like all other natural laws, these two laws are very precise and cannot be tinkered with. First, cause and effect; “for every action there is a reaction.” All actions have consequences; these can be negative, indifferent or positive, depending on the action. But, if we link this simple statement with what was written before about the giving nature of the universe, and also now add in the law of attraction, “energy flows where attention goes,” this makes for some really powerful stuff. So, if you are the kind of person who is constantly going on about how you need more money, you need this and you want that, then you are going to cause serious problems for yourself. Remember, the universe will always only give you EXACTLY what you ask for (give most attention to). So, when you are shaking your fist at the heavens and pleading poverty, you are actually affirming LACK. You are telling Mother Nature that you are living a life of lack, so she will simply comply with your wishes and give you more of the same.

As well as your body and the world around you, your thoughts are also comprised of energy cells, chattering away with their “mates” out in the ether. This means that cells of energy that are vibrationally aligned (speaking the same language) will be attracted to each other creatively. This is how we all create and attract situations and people into our lives.

In a nutshell, the easiest way to be detached from all the nonsense being churned out by the media and to live a happier life is as follows. Before you do anything else, understand that you are consciousness; this is your true nature, you are life itself and you cannot die. Couple this with “there is always enough” and “there is more where that came from,” and you will be able to align yourself with the law of cause and effect and the law of attraction in a positive way. I’m sure there will be people reading this who will have difficulty understanding the concept, but I hope that if this is you, I have at the very least been able to plant a seed that will bear fruit at a later date.


Silver Medal Syndrome

Image by Alexey Hulsov from Pixabay

I was perusing the books of Neale Donald Walsch recently on eBay, and was pleasantly surprised to see that there was a “Book Four” in the Conversations With God series. I have found the CWG trilogy to be a very significant part of my spiritual evolution, so when I saw that there was a fourth part, I just had to have it. It truly is amazing how “The Absolute” has its unique way of reaching out to us when we need support and guidance, in EXACTLY the way that is most suitable and relevant to us at the time. I have been asking so many questions lately, and like some kind of Divine Christmas present out of the blue, this book has provided me with answers. I have barely started reading the book, but already, like a piece in a Divine jig-saw puzzle it has just slotted into place in my life and, as well as answering some of my questions, it has also given me the inspiration to come up with an analogy that I have called, “Silver Medal Syndrome.”

I think that many people reading this post will be able to relate to what I mean here. Regardless of what the media would have us believe, there is most definitely a shift in consciousness going on, as I type even. People are gradually waking up to their true nature. However, for many, and I include myself here, we “know” from the perspective of knowledge, that we are already awake and have nothing to seek. But, we do not have the “knowing” of our awakenedness. What I’m getting at, is that there is a difference between knowledge and knowing. Knowledge comes with words, but knowing only comes with experience. So, we have the knowledge that our true nature is consciousness, but in our physical form we are not yet evolved enough to know this experientially. This is where the analogy comes in.

At the moment, we have the silver medal. It’s better than bronze, but it’s not quite gold. From my own experience, when we have Bronze Medal Syndrome, we are on the path but we think we know more than we actually do. Then, we ascend to Silver Medal Syndrome (SMS). It’s not bad, in fact it’s a great effort, but we still only have knowledge. One of the draw backs of SMS is that even though we know that we are awake but not quite there, we still sometimes think and act in ways that we know are not conducive to our spiritual evolution. We might even follow this up with feelings of guilt after the event.

It is important however, to try and not beat ourselves up when this happens. Remember, it’s all a part of the training, the experience of life…and we are all ultimately GOING FOR GOLD!

Cherokee Parable – Two Wolves

I came across this beautiful parable sometime ago and completely forgot about it until the other day when someone brought it to my attention. It is the famous old Cherokee parable of the “Two Wolves” and I find it so powerful and true that I thought I would share it here. It was such a timely reminder for me and I hope you enjoy reading it.


An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Whether you were reading this for the first time, or whether like me, it served as a memory jogger, I hope you felt inspired.

Distant Healing

Photo by Arina Krasnikova: Pexels

I’ve not mentioned this before, but I have had an illness since the Summer of last year, which peaked at the tail-end of December and throughout January. I am much better than I was, although I still have an ongoing niggle that restricts the way I go about my daily life. As well as the conventional treatment, I have also had a lot of distant healing sent to me from various sources. Those of you who either know me personally or who are familiar with my writing, will be aware of my experiences with the psychic surgeon, Stephen Turoff, back in the early 2000s. Well, back in May of this year I was getting so frustrated with my condition that I decided to explore the possibilities of receiving healing from Stephen once again. I elected to choose his distant healing service as his practice is quite a distance from where I live, and I thought that it would save me a journey. Below, is my account, observations and thoughts of the experience, which comprised of 32 consecutive days treatment. I hope you find it interesting.

Day One – 20/05/22
I didn’t receive the email advising that the healing process was to start today. However, it all got sorted in the end and I did as advised and found my quiet space after 7.00 pm. Nothing out of the ordinary during the first session. I felt the usual presence of spirit around me and also saw Stephen in my third eye. I felt very good afterwards. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri and Sai Gayatri.

Day Two – 21/05/22
Much stronger this evening. It worked out as with the previous day, that I went to lay in the peace at around 7:30 pm. I saw Stephen again and was enveloped in very strong energy. A couple of times I felt as though I was just going to drift away into nothingness. It made me wonder if I was a nano-millimeter away from experiencing Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri, Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka

Day Three – 22/05/22
Slightly later this evening. As soon as I began to relax I started to silently chant the “Yes God” mantra. Immediately, there was a sensation of heat in my stomach, which went on for quite a while. Two things learned from this evening’s session. 1) My ego is doing its utmost to disrupt the healing. Because I have started this journal, my mind kept trying to make me wander off by thinking about what I was going to write, instead of concentrating on the healing. 2) You can never try to guess how the session is going to go and what it will consist of. The energy didn’t seem so strong this evening, and when the heat had gone from my stomach I felt that the session was winding down. But just when I was contemplating coming out of it, the energy suddenly intensified and my body seemed to be locked in position. So, it’s as though I had two mini sessions in one this evening.
I only had a fleeting glimpse of Stephen this time, so I don’t know if it was just my mind putting it there. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri, Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka.

Day Four – 23/05/22
Completely different again this evening. Went to lay down at a similar time. The energy took a little while to build up, but as it did so, I started to feel a very subtle warmth in my stomach; as opposed to the heat of day three’s session. I was thinking that today’s session was quite unspectacular, but it then occurred to me that I’d been quite spoilt and was now expecting too much. The energy may not have seemed as strong as the previous day, but it was still strong nonetheless, and appeared to ramp up just before the end. Used the same mantras as the two previous days.

My Observations So Far
I first became aware of Stephen when I went to buy a specific book, but the book “Psychic Surgeon” jumped out me. So, I left the shop with 2 books instead of one. It took me a while to get around to reading it, but once I did, it blew me away. During the period from 2002 to 2004, I made 3 or 4 visits to the Miami Hotel; having 2 operations myself and also taking a friend and my mother to have ops. Incidentally, in 2004 Stephen took away my friend’s throat cancer and she is still going strong today.
At that time it was £20 for a face to face visit and £10 for distant healing, so I balked a bit when I saw that the cost was now £50. Once I was over the initial shock and weighed everything up, the price became immaterial. Already, I have had an incredible experience and I am not even 1/6th of the way through my treatment. When you work it out, the cost equates to around £1.56 per day, give or take a couple of pence. So, to have this for 32 consecutive days represents an absolute bargain in anyone’s language. Yes, it’s true that the treatment may not take away the problem that I want removing, but there is no way that anyone could go through this experience without having a positive outcome, whatever that outcome might be.

Day Five – 24/05/22
The longest session so far. I went to lay down a little earlier this evening; just after 7:00 pm. Used the same mantras as before. The energy was very strong, but didn’t seem to be concentrated on any particular area. I was simply enveloped within an incredibly strong energy. When the energy subsided, I looked at the clock and saw that it had been going for about 30 minutes. However, I was so knocked out by the experience that I continued to lay down. Then the healing seemed to start up again but as a completely different experience. It was as though I was being gently brought back after having had a “good zapping.” This continued for a while and when I eventually got up, the process had been going on for around 45 minutes.

Day Six – 25/05/22
I had to go out this evening, so I wasn’t able to lay down peacefully until after 10:00 pm. I was enveloped in energy quite quickly, and it was particularly strong around my head. I felt really tired and decided that I would just trust the healing process and settle down in bed for the night. I ended up only laying quietly for around 15 minutes, but I’m sure that this is immaterial to the process. Used the same mantras.

Day Seven – 26/05/22
Went to lay down just after 7:00 pm. I felt warmth again in my stomach as soon as the energy enveloped me. A bit of a strange one this evening. I kept losing concentration as I was silently chanting the mantras (same ones again) as though I was drifting into a slumber. I looked at the clock and saw that I’d been laying down for roughly 30 minutes. I lay back down again and must have gone into a bit of a doze. I got up at around 8:10 pm.

Day Eight – 27/05/22
I felt the heat again in my stomach. Not as subtle as the last couple of times, but also not as hot as the first time. Very strong energy around me once again and my mind constantly trying to disrupt my concentration. I have not mentioned before that I always feel slightly transfigured during these sessions. I didn’t think it was that important because this is something I feel regularly; hence I didn’t mention it. But, this evening it was much stronger. I felt like I wanted to doze again, which again interfered with my silent mantra chanting (same mantras). All good!

Day Nine – 28/05/22
Another very different session. I didn’t lay down until nearly 11:00 pm as I was attending an event in Bristol. This is the only session up to now that has not taken place in my own home. As I started to relax, the energy built up quite slowly and enveloped me again, becoming very strong. There was again a sensation of warmth in my stomach and I felt completely transfigured from my head down to my legs. Same mantras.

Day Ten – 29/05/22
I had to go out this evening so I didn’t lay down until just after 9:30 pm. The energy built up slowly and was very strong once again. I felt heat in my stomach area for a while during this session and also felt transfigured again. I have another feeling that is very difficult to put into words (the same for all of this journal really, as words cannot aptly describe what I am experiencing), but I will endeavour to try further down the line as things progress, if the feeling continues. I used the same mantras and am now exactly 1/3rd of the way through my treatment.

My Observations So Far
There has undoubtedly been an improvement physically, although maybe not to the extent that I would have liked. However, I have another 20 sessions to go. I do feel though, that there has been some sort of subtle transformation at a deeper level of my being, and I am quite excited to see what the eventual outcome will be.

Day Eleven – 30/05/22
Once again there was quite a slow build up of energy, but it became very strong and completely enveloped me. I felt some gentle activity going on in my stomach and I also felt transfigured again. Same mantras.

Day Twelve – 31/05/22
Things really went up a notch this evening; I just hope that I can find the words to accurately describe what I experienced. Firstly, the heat in my stomach was quite intense again. While I was experiencing this, I again felt gentle activity, as though someone was fiddling around in my stomach. When this experience tapered off the energy enveloping me became more intense and very strong. Then something incredible happened. There was a tangible shift, as though the energy had been raised up to another level. At the same time it became more subtle, but it was very noticeably at a higher level of vibration. It’s very difficult to explain, but it seemed to become bigger, and as a result I felt as though I was higher up than I was. What was also significant here, was that my ego was working overtime to try to distract me from the wonderful experience I was having. It didn’t stop throughout the session. Then another amazing thing happened. I was aware of an arm and hand moving in a clockwise direction, exactly in the way Sri Sathya Sai Baba used to do when he was manifesting vibhuti. After a while it changed to anti-clockwise. The crazy thing is that not only was the hand moving quite slowly, but I couldn’t see either the hand or the arm. It reminded me of when Baba used to come to me in dreams, I very often couldn’t see him, but it was unmistakably him. Had it not been for a really annoying itch on my right eyelid, I would not have been aware at all of my physical body. In the end, I couldn’t stand it any longer and had to scratch the itch. I settled back down thinking that was probably it, but the energy enveloped me again. This time it was much softer, as if it was saying to me, “I’m going to ease you down nice and slowly.” The whole experience lasted about 45 minutes. I again felt transfigured and I used the same mantras.

Day Thirteen – 01/06/22
Another incredible session. Things started very slowly and there was no concentration of heat in my stomach nor the sensation of someone fiddling around in there. The energy was quite subtle, but nonetheless very strong, and as it built up I became completely transfigured once again and unable to move (not that I wanted to move). I just lay there, chanting the same mantras silently in my head and enjoying what went from an incredible experience to something that no words on earth can describe properly. This was the most complete transfiguration yet, as though someone was nestled nicely inside my physical form. I’m not sure of the exact order of the next two things, so I will just relate them. At some point, my third eye expanded with a very pale green light. Because I have been experiencing things going on in my third eye for over 20 years, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning anything I had seen, such as lights etc., during these sessions. However, the energy involved with this experience was very different to what I’ve been used to in the past. This would tie in with last night’s events when I felt a tangible shift in vibration. At some stage, whoever had transfigured me started to move my lower arms. Not a great deal, it was as though the soul was trying me out for size, like going to the shop and trying on a suit. Then after a while, my lips (especially my top lip) seemed to get thinner and started to move. Whoever it was, was not my regular companion. The truly amazing thing is that I may well have instigated these sessions because I require physical healing, but I seem to be more concerned with the spiritual transformation that is taking place. I obviously do want my physical problem to clear up so that I can live a normal life again. But, everything else that is going on is just so incredibly exciting. A mildly amusing thing is that I have even started to speculate as to what the outcome will be, but I know full well from past experience, that where the Divine is concerned, whatever you think it is… it isn’t…

Day Fourteen – 02/06/22
A very slow start again, but the energy (although quite subtle) became stronger and as usual, I couldn’t move. I felt transfigured again, although not as powerful as yesterday. My lips only very momentarily seemed to go thin and my lower left arm moved and my left hand opened and closed, and opened again. I used the same mantras, although I have been chanting the Sai Gayatri more consistently than the others. The reason for this is that when I think of God I don’t think of an entity, I think of the formless totality. But, when I think of God with a form, I think of Sai Baba; hence I chant the Sai Gayatri more than the other mantras.

Day Fifteen – 03/06/22
I only chanted the Sai Gayatri this evening and the session lasted for nearly an hour. Another interesting event indeed. Things started slowly again, and I decided that I would let the session run for a while before I did any mantra chanting (this is a first; I normally start chanting pretty much straight away). I immediately felt heat around my solar plexus and during the course of the session it gradually made its way down my stomach until it disappeared. Once again, I couldn’t move but the energy was very gentle. I was transfigured again, and early in the session my right arm placed itself across my chest. After a while it returned to my side and at various stages during the process there was further movements of both arms. It was generally uneventful (I know, I’m really spoiled and expecting bells and whistles every evening). I guessed that I had been laying down for more than half and hour, and was kind of expecting things to wind down. Like I said, things seemed pretty uneventful, I was enveloped in gentle energy, unable to move, and with periodic movements of the arm and only one instance of my lips seeming to go thinner; then it happened… It was incredibly gentle, but I felt as though I was inflating. What was happening was that my friend, whoever that may be, was making his/herself comfortable within my physical body. As before, my friend seemed to be trying me for size and very gently shook my head rapidly from side to side. I felt completely transfigured, but just to make sure it wasn’t me putting the movement in myself, I sent out a thought, “just so I know I didn’t imagine it, can you do that again.” Sure enough, my head shook rapidly but very gently from side to side. I’m going to miss all this when it’s over…
I almost forgot to mention, that at about the half-way stage, I saw a woman’s face in my third eye. She had dark hair and was smiling at me. She looked really familiar but I just can’t place who she is.

Day Sixteen – 04/06/22
I reverted back to chanting all the previous mantras, but I chanted the Sai Gayatri much more extensively than the others. I quickly felt heat in my lower stomach, which made its way up to my solar plexus. The heat was maintained the entire length of my stomach, as opposed to being limited to isolated areas as it moved upwards. The energy built up slowly again as I became transfigured and the heat in my stomach subsided; once again, I was unable to move. My “friend” seemed mainly concerned with my face this session and it was as though he/she was having a practice to open and close my mouth. There was also minimal arm movements.

Day Seventeen – 05/06/22
I immediately felt warmth in my stomach. Once again it was a slow build up of energy and I couldn’t move. At one point I had to almost force movement of my arm to take care of an annoying itch on my eyelid. Same mantras again. No arm movements this session, but again there was movement in my head and mouth.

More Observations
I am now past the half-way point. There has been slight physical improvement. I didn’t expect things to have been like this, although, I suppose I didn’t really know what to expect. With regard to the spiritual aspect of what has been going on, I can only describe it as being like some sort of graph showing the performance of stocks and shares. The sessions started off quite low key, then there was a spike, then things tapered off a bit, then there was another spike. I’m now going through another lower key period. I can only assume that wherever the sessions are meant to lead me, it has to be done in stages so as not to cause me to have any adverse effects.
For over 22 years I have experienced some incredible things. I estimate over 200 out of body experiences. I have experienced other realities whilst being on my astral journeys and interacted with other souls who are not on earth in the physical body. I have had so many amazing experiences that I now have trouble remembering them. Now, these sessions are adding to the list. As much as I love them, I do feel that I’m getting a bit attached to them, my ego is also constantly trying to interfere with my concentration. I’m well aware that as long as “I” am having these experiences and “I” am enjoying them, there will be no Samadhi for me anytime soon. However, I shall cherish and enjoy the remaining sessions and embrace with gratitude whatever outcome materialises.

Day Eighteen – 06/06/22
Today I cut out the Sai Gayatri and the Samasta Loka mantras, just chanting the other four. I felt a gentle warmth in my stomach and I was again transfigured to the extent that I couldn’t move. The energy was very powerful but gentle. I felt some movement within my face and lips but there was no opening and closing of the mouth or movement of the arms.

Day Nineteen – 07/06/22
I went back to using all of the mantras today. Gentle warmth in my stomach followed by the usual envelopment in energy and being unable to move. There was a degree of transfiguration this evening, which seemed to increase towards the end. When the transfiguration intensified I felt a tightness across my chest for the first time. It was gentle, not the kind of tightness across the chest you would associate with being ill.

Day Twenty – 08/06/22
Once again there was quite a slow build up before I was enveloped in very strong but gentle energy. My left arm placed itself, of its own accord, across my torso with my left palm flat over my solar plexus. I felt expansion within my third eye and there was an interchanging of light green and lilac pastel colours. I used all the usual mantras.

More Observations
Wow! Session number twenty has been and gone. How does all this imaginary time fly past so quickly? There has been a definite physical improvement, although I am not out of the woods yet. For the first time since just before Christmas, I have been sitting normally for longer periods today with either minor soreness and irritation or none at all. This is a huge step forward.

Day Twenty One – 09/06/22
I felt that the mantra chanting was becoming a bit mechanical, so I decided to not use any mantras this session. Instead, I regularly expressed gratitude. I immediately felt heat within my stomach area and the usual enveloping in powerful but gentle energy. There was once again transfiguration with some movement of the arms.

Day Twenty Two – 10/06/22
For the first time, I fell asleep during this session. I felt warmth in my stomach as the energy enfolded me and things seemed to intensify when I started to silently chant the Gayatri. I also chanted the Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka, but no other mantras. My right arm moved across my chest and rested with my palm down; there was also a bit of movement with my left arm. The rest is a blur, as I fell asleep.

Day Twenty Three – 11/06/22
I tried an experiment this evening. A few weeks back, I acquired the most beautiful CD of Tibetan temple bell music and I decided to play it at a low volume through headphones during the session. I didn’t use any mantras, but frequently sent out thoughts of gratitude. The results were interesting, but of course, there is no way of telling whether my experience would have been any different had I not used the CD. Almost immediately after laying down, my right arm moved across to my chest with my hand palm down. After a while, my left hand moved to my stomach and rested there palm down. I was transfigured by two different souls. Firstly, my new friend that I’ve only known since these healing sessions began drew close, then to my surprise, my regular companion of many years nipped in and transfigured me. My new friend then came in again and stayed for the duration. Throughout the session, which lasted the best part of an hour, the energy peaked and troughed. It was very powerful indeed, although very pleasant and gentle. It would intensify to levels of the highest that I’ve experienced since my healing started back on May 20, then it would drop off before rising again. At some point both of my arms moved back to my side, although my right palm did again move to my chest area. There was a lot of movement with my mouth too, as though once again, my friend was trying out my body for size; like trying on a suit.

Day Twenty Four – 12/06/22
I went back to silently chanting all of the usual mantras this session. I was enveloped in the energy, but nothing else of note occurred this evening. I seemed to have a doze and was laying down for the best part of an hour.

Day Twenty Five – 13/06/22
Silent chanting of all mantras. Enveloped in very powerful but gentle energy. Minimal transfiguration. After just over half and hour I turned onto my side. I stayed like that for a short while, but felt warmth in my stomach so turned back onto my back. My right arm then moved across my chest and my palm rested just below my left shoulder. I felt a lot of warmth coming from my palm.

Day Twenty Six – 14/06/22
A strange one today. I had been unwell for most of the day, with what I guessed to be very mild food poisoning. I spent the afternoon in bed and suddenly started to feel better. My high temperature started to drop and was almost back to normal as I went to lay down for the healing session. The energy was once again very powerful and I was transfigured. There was some movement of the arms and at one point both my palms moved to be face down on my chest, just below my shoulder. It felt very warm, but not quite warm enough to describe it as hot. All mantras silently chanted.

Day Twenty Seven – 15/06/22
My unwellness returned before I went to bed last night so I had to call in sick today. Very strong energy again and felt warmth in my stomach early into the session. Same mantras.

Day Twenty Eight – 16/06/22
I decided to give the temple bell CD another go this evening, so the session comprised the full hour running time. No mantras, minimal transfiguration and usual strong energy.

Day Twenty Nine – 17/06/22
Enveloped in strong energy again. Minimal transfiguration. Used all mantras.

Day Thirty – 18/06/22
Ditto above.

Day Thirty One – 19/06/22
I felt a gentle pressure in between my chest and solar plexus. There was a feeling of very subtle movement as though someone was fiddling around inside me. Very strong energy similar to what I experienced when things really ramped up during session 12 on 31/05. My right arm also moved outwards and for a short while it was as though someone was holding my hand. I seemed to be transfigured by two different souls (same ones as before). Just when I thought the session had come to an end and I was contemplating getting up, I felt a gentle warmth in my stomach so continued to lay for a while. No mantras this evening.

Day Thirty Two – 20/06/22
Final session. Strange feeling really. On one hand, it feels right that it ends now, and on the other hand, I’ll miss the routine. I just don’t know how 32 days have gone by so quickly. As far as the session itself goes, it was a bit of everything this evening.

Final Thoughts
The main problem that I wanted healing is still there. That’s OK; I knew there was no guarantee. There has however, been a shift of sorts. It’s very difficult to put into words, but it’s as though a transformation has taken place. I am also aware that this kind of healing doesn’t just cut off, the process continues until it fades out; a bit like the end of a song. I’ll just add some final observations, because there are a few things that have always been common place that I didn’t feel needed to be added to my accounts of the individual sessions and also a couple of other things worth mentioning.
Firstly, every session seemed to start with activity within my third eye; like pressure. This is something I have experienced every day for many, many years, so it did not seem worth mentioning. Also, I did a hell of a lot of snoring whilst still being awake during the sessions. The energy seemed to take me towards sleep, but apart from one occasion, just left me on the brink; hence the snoring. Another thing was that, during every session, my ego was going completely mental in an effort to fill my head with nonsensical stories. I had to keep reining it in.
A final couple of observations. Because I didn’t see Stephen again after the third session, I’m wondering if it was just my mind that created the image in the first place. These were my first dealings with Stephen for many years and I was quite excited about it. Of course, either way, whether I really did see him or not makes no difference to the energy and the outcome. Finally, over many years I have been blessed with an incalculable amount of incredible experiences; some of them took place during my visits to the Miami hotel. I can add to my “list” my experiences during sessions 12, 13 and 15. However, sometimes I feel as though my blessings work against me in a funny kind of paradoxical way. When I experience incredible phenomena, my ego just wants more and more of the same. Of course, this cannot be; this is not why I am here. I know that all phenomena are ultimately temporal and not the reality, but it doesn’t stop me from becoming attached and wanting more and more of the same.

All in all, a fantastic experience and worth every penny.

Pointing The Way

I really love parables; especially Zen parables. The reason I love Zen parables so much is that quite often they are tongue-in-cheek, but at the same time very profound. As with all parables, we have no way of knowing if the stories actually happened, and because the meaning is never in the story itself, but in the subtext, I suppose it doesn’t really matter whether the story actually happened or not. The parable that I’m going to share with you is one of those rarities where I really hope that the story is a complete work of fiction. You will understand why as you read on.

Many centuries ago there was an old Zen master, who would raise his index finger in the air after engaging with disciples. Whether it was to an individual or a group, after imparting some wisdom, the master would raise his index finger in the air. This was a source of great amusement to a young boy in the village, and he would constantly mock the master every time he saw him by raising his finger in the air too. One day, the boy saw the master walking through the market place, and as usual he raised his index finger in the air in a mocking manner. As quick as a flash, the old man caught hold of the boy and cut off the finger. As the boy screamed in agony the master looked at him, raised his finger in the air and walked off.

A harsh lesson indeed and as I said, I really hope it isn’t true. However, the parable contains a beautifully profound message. It’s similar to the old story that says if you want to see the moon and stars, you have to look beyond the finger that’s pointing to them. For me, it is also an indication of the difference between a master and a teacher. A teacher will teach us what’s in the text book, everything that’s gone before; all the old stale stuff. A teacher will contribute to our conditioning, along with priests, parents, peers, media etc. Indeed, everything that shapes our thoughts about who we are as we are growing up. A master, on the other hand, treats everyone who comes to them as a unique individual and “points the way.”

A master doesn’t teach, in fact, I’ve heard it said that a master is the antidote to the teacher. A master points the way by giving us the key to ourselves. The greatest knowledge is Self-knowledge, and that isn’t something that can be taught. It is experiential and very unique to the one having the experience. The boy in the parable may have been young, but the master’s actions were saying, “I’ve cut your finger off, what are you going to do now? Look beyond the finger.”