I’m going to share an experience with you that proved to me (as if I needed any proof) that miracles most certainly do happen. Over Christmas 2013 I found myself in a situation that seemed impossible; in fact I just didn’t know what I was going to do. There were similarities with situations from years gone by, and I really couldn’t believe that I now found myself seemingly trapped in a scenario of pain and despair, having turned my life around (or so I thought) many years ago. What I couldn’t understand was, that I was no longer the angry and resentful person I was back in the day; so why was I now faced with this situation? I’ve made no secret of the fact that the way I lived my life when I was younger has made things quite difficult for me at times during this stage of my life. I’ve also made no secret of the fact that I choose to live my life in a certain way that can at times produce hardships. But by and large, my needs have always been met so I just tend to plod along and take things as they come.
Throughout December I had not had much work; very little really, and there was not much on the horizon for the new year so I had very little money coming in. It was difficult enough already with the cost of living spiraling out of control, when all of a sudden my car died on me. The mechanic I use managed to get it going but the outcome was that it was going to cost such a lot of money to get it repaired that I would be better off scrapping it and buying a new one. The only problem was, how? I had just about enough money to buy an old runaround, but I know nothing about cars and I’m easy pickings for unscrupulous car salesmen. Also, how would I get out and about in order to buy one? The car I had was still driveable, but only over short distances; it was too dangerous to contemplate journeys of more than 6-8 miles because the engine kept overheating. My mind went into overdrive…
I had a serious case of “what am I going to do” syndrome. I told myself that I would have to register as unemployed, but that I would not be able to look for a job because I would have no way of getting anywhere. Tetbury is not exactly remote, but the bus service is very limited and very expensive. I told myself that within a few months I would be a sad case sitting in my little bungalow in the depths of despair and that my gas, electric and phone would be cut off because I had no means of paying my bills. I didn’t sleep very well for two nights; and then I came to my senses!
I knew that by constantly churning out all those negative thoughts I was only going to create more misery further on down the road; I told myself that it was about time I started to put into practice the principles that I speak about so often during the course of my spiritual work. I started by reminding myself of a few things. In no particular order I reminded myself that I am not a body; I am Divine Consciousness and the world I find myself in is only an illusion; therefore, at worst, my situation is only a part of that illusion. I reminded myself that I, and no one else, am the creator of my reality within this illusion and that it is impossible to die. I reminded myself that if I am responsible for creating my situation, albeit an illusionary one, then I also have the power within me to create circumstances in my life that are more favourable. Finally, I reminded myself that if I am Divine Consciousness at my deepest level, and if Divine Consciousness is the only reality, then if, to the best of my ability, I am able to experience myself as who I really am, then my problem would go away; after all, it was only a problem because my mind said so!
So I set about hatching a master plan!
I decided that I would meditate before going to bed. My thinking behind this was, that if I could experience myself as pure consciousness before retiring for the night, it would be like giving my mind a shower and I would be able to sleep better. Now, I always try to be thankful on a daily basis for all my blessings, but in my current situation I felt that an extra strong “attitude of gratitude” would go a long way towards helping me. In other words, instead of whining and moaning because my car is terminally sick and my whole world is doom and gloom, it would be much better to be consciously grateful for the abundance I already have. So, I made a point of thanking God for the bed that I sleep in, the roof over my head, my food, my clothes, my fresh drinking water and for things that are taken for granted, such as being able to look up into the night sky and gaze at the stars. Quite remarkably, within a few days things started to change.
Part Two coming shortly.