Who Am I? Part Thirty Three


The trouble with the whole 2012 thing, was that the good old media latched onto it and made it into something that it wasn’t. Hence, we had people talking about how the world was going to end; of course, this was never an option. Something that was quite significant for us as a species, was turned into an event that was the butt of jokes, and also gave amateur philosophers the world over the ammunition to expound all manner of theories and opinions. The truth was that the so-called “shift” started long before 21 December 2012, and was exactly that; a very subtle and gradual shift, the result of which meant that our consciousness or energies, whichever term you want to use, became more awakened. The date of 21 December 2012 simply signified the date in the ancient Mayan Calendar when a particular cycle would come to an end. I feel qualified to give this explanation because of what I actually experienced at the time.

A friend of mine once said to me that creation was like an onion. He said it consisted of many layers; and every now and then a layer would peel away and reveal a truth. With this in mind, the first few weeks of 2013 were very interesting for me. There was definitely something different going on, and indeed, the onion of life most certainly did peel away several layers and reveal several truths to me. Of course, I am speaking metaphorically, as we know there is only ONE truth. What I would like to add, however, to my friend’s pearl of wisdom is this; not only does the onion of life reveal truth to you, but as it does so, illusion and delusion, in the form of previous unreal perspectives, dissolves away. So, I had several eureka moments during the first 3-4 weeks of 2013. By the time April came along I had another quite significant experience.

I was booked to do a clairvoyant night at a pub on the outskirts of Cheltenham. I had already got to the stage where I was questioning the relevance of clairvoyant nights from a spiritual perspective. I did not feel that the churning out of mundane messages to people who were, in the main not interested in spirituality, served me any longer. I had already got into the habit of turning down bookings for clairvoyant nights, and I felt that I’d served my apprenticeship and worked my fair share of difficult venues, so I was not too keen on working in a pub. Nonetheless, I accepted the booking. It turned out to be one of those situations where out of great adversity, advantage blossomed!

It was a new initiative by the pub proprietors in an effort to bring in more punters. They had held a couple of these nights already and were going to make it a regular thing. On this particular occasion it was my turn. The event was to take place in the skittle alley upstairs, and on arrival it became apparent that the organisers were clueless. They had no understanding of this kind of thing, and apart from putting the chairs out, did absolutely nothing. There was not even any water put out for me, and I drink gallons of the stuff when I’m working. So, I got my water sorted out and it transpired that I was just left to my own devices. This is unheard of; there is ALWAYS a chairperson; the medium is never just left alone to get on with it. So, there I was; I got up to speak and immediately knew I was in for a rough night. I’d had some tough ones in my time, but this one took the biscuit! Firstly, the energies in this old building were awful (old English pubs do tend to have history), then I noticed that one of the punters had at least one negative entity attached to him. Then to top it off, there was a row of young girls in the audience that disrupted the whole session. The old me would have got angry, but the new me saw it as a challenge.

So, as well as having to work in such negative energies I also had to cope with the teenage girls giggling and nudging each other from start to finish. Everyone I went to had negative body language and did not understand the concept of working with the medium. People did not respond to me; which is absolutely essential for any demonstration of mediumship. So I was standing up in front of these people who were either giggling or just gawping at me. I found it nigh-on impossible to get spirit information, and I had to endure some incredibly long periods of silence; it’s a shame that the silence did not extend to the teenage girls in the audience. This had never happened to me before, and after what seemed like an absolute age, the event came to an end. Incredibly, some of the people came up to me and thanked me for their messages, and some even apologised for the behaviour of the young girls, even though it was nothing to do with them. Some of them complained to the management about the girls’ behaviour and I understand that they were banned from attending future events.

As I drove away from that venue I had a bit of a smile on my face. I was happy that I’d done my best not to be judgemental and just carried on with the task in hand. The experience also confirmed what I already knew, working in pubs no longer served my soul, and neither did clairvoyant demonstrations. From then on I only served two venues that laid on pure clairvoyant nights; the reason for that was because they were two venues where I had always received great support and continuing to serve them was my way of maintaining the connection.

I continued to bumble along; it was very difficult to eek out a living from my spiritual work on a self-employed basis. I also worked as a “helping hand”, for an organisation called Care and Repair. It was a charity that gave support to vulnerable adults in their homes. That was also on a self-employed basis, and even though the money wasn’t brilliant, it added a few pounds of much-needed income to the coffers. As 2013 was nearing its end, something else happened that was nothing short of miraculous.

As a helping hand, I was down to one solitary client; an elderly lady with dementia and poor mobility who lived six miles away. It was Boxing Day, December 26, and I was due to go and see her for a couple of hours. I would do a bit of cleaning and make sure she had a meal. But when I went out to the car it wouldn’t start. I reported in and someone else went out to see the elderly lady. Between Christmas and New Year my trusty mechanic, Tony, got the car going and I thought all was OK. But the day before New Year’s Eve, I set off on a journey to visit a friend who lived near Grimsby (around 170 miles away). I only got eight miles down the road and I heard a knocking sound coming from under the bonnet. I managed to pull over and have a look and found that the water reservoir container was empty. The knocking sound was because the hard plastic container had become so hot, it was banging against the inner framework of the car. It was lucky I’d only travelled eight miles.

I managed to get back home and took the car to Tony again once the New Year was out of the way. He said it would cost a fortune to repair; far more than the car was worth and that I’d be better off getting a new car. That was the worst thing he could have told me. Where would I get the money to buy a new car? I succumbed to the yarn being spun by my mind and went into severe panic mode. There was very little money coming in anyway and now I had no car. Tetbury has a very sparse and expensive bus service, so I would have no way of getting about either. It was a serious case of , “what am I going to do”? Now, I have written extensively about what happened next, so I’m not going to go into all the detail here, because I will still be writing at midnight. You can read the incredible story by clicking on the two links below entitled, Miracles Do Happen.

Miracles Do Happen

Miracles Do Happen 2

But to give you a bit of an idea, I had hardly any work, no car to get to that work, or to look for work, or even to get out and try to claim benefits for an interim period. I realised I was being my own worse enemy and took steps to change my mental attitude. Miraculously, shortly after taking these steps, someone just gave me £1000, right out of the blue. Not only that, they said I didn’t even need to pay it back. It was more miraculous because I never even asked that person for any money! Then shortly after that I got a job from an unexpected source and not long after that, another car!

The next post will be the last in the series, but there will be a summary post after that. We are now at February 2014.

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Miracles Do Happen – Part Two


Continued from Part One. If you have not read part one or want a refresher, please click on the link below.

https://richardfholmes.org/2014/03/31/miracles-do-happen-part-one/

“Quite remarkably, within a few days things started to change”

The first thing I noticed was that even though my actual situation had not changed, my perception of it had. As you can imagine, I was still feeling quite frustrated at not being able to get about, but I was no longer worried. I could tangibly feel myself growing out of the situation; I could feel myself moving away from it. I could also feel the expansion of my soul beyond my physical body, although this is quite commonplace after the whole business of 2012. It also turned out that while all this was going on I only had to cancel one booking relating to my work as a medium. A couple of friends ferried me around to engagements and flatly refused to take any petrol money from me. Then, what I consider to be a miracle happened.

Out of the blue, someone just gave me £1000, yes it’s true; I was given £1000 and told I did not have to pay it back. So, with the bit of money I already had, I now had enough to buy a car that would be a bit better than just a runaround. Then something else happened that was more than just a coincidence.

I was now in a position where I had the means to buy a semi-decent car, but I still had no semi-decent car, and there was the little matter of my income. At this point I should add that for the previous two years I had been working as a volunteer complimentary therapist for a few hours here and there at a day services hospice not far from where I live. I decided at the outset that I wanted a job on the permanent staff and I was prepared to do any job that was going; it’s such a wonderful place, I just wanted to be more involved. The hospice closes over Christmas and New Year, and even though I had made it known that I wanted a permanent job there, it was not expected that there would be any vacancies until we were well into 2014, after an evaluation had been carried out.

So, I had a half-hearted look on the hospice website just prior to Christmas and sure enough there was no vacancies, except for a couple of jobs in the charity shops. By now it was Wednesday, January 10, and my first volunteer day of the new year was on Friday, 12 January. The journey is only a little over six miles, so with a bit of care I could use my car to get me there. On the Wednesday night I had another half-hearted look on the website and to my amazement, not only was there was a vacancy, but the vacancy was in the department where I worked as a volunteer; however, the closing date was Friday. I suddenly became frustrated; I’m not the greatest lover of application forms and decided that I was not going bother. It was too short notice and I was not going to rush the application. The next day though, something inside me told me to print off the application form and get it filled out. So with my new-found lease of life, I printed off the form and got most of it filled in. I completed it on Friday morning and handed it in when I went to do my volunteer work. I did not even expect to be called for an interview because I have no healthcare qualifications and I knew that fully qualified healthcare professionals would be applying.

About four days later I got a letter saying “come for an interview”. So, I thought to myself that I would go for the interview, but I would have no chance of getting the job. The interview date was also my next volunteer day. I had the interview after doing a therapy and left the building believing I’d made a complete hash of it. I was told that it would probably take 3-4 days to let me know the result as there was more applicants to interview. So I went home.

Two hours later I got a phone call; “we would like to offer you the job”. I was so surprised, the lady on the line had to ask me twice if I was going to accept; I just couldn’t believe it. Within a few days I got a letter of confirmation giving me a start date of 26 February; all I needed now was a car!

Just under two weeks before I was due to start work, my friend’s son took me to Bristol to look at some cars. The cars we went to look at were not suitable, but whilst we were there we “accidentally” saw a sign on a car parked on the side of the road as we were driving by. On the way back we stopped on the off-chance and rang the number displayed in the car window. Enter Marcus. He turned out to be a decent sort and we returned the next day to look over a selection of cars that Marcus was selling. I chose one (see Gladys below) and it was a case of alls well that ends well!

It’s amazing how life can take you down one day and lift you up again the next. It must be awful for people who do not have a spiritual understanding; I find life’s shenanigans stressful enough, so what must it be like for those who have no understanding of how creation functions? A couple of months previous I had finished reading the book When Everything Changes Change Everything by Neale Donald Walsch. It speaks of how the universe is in a constant state of flux and that by our very nature we are beings of change, because all is energy and in constant motion. So, having read that book I knew I had to simply accept that situation as being part of the latest phase of change in my life, in the knowledge that it was impossible for it to stay the same and would eventually be resolved. Compared to what others have to endure my situation was nothing, but in context to the way my life is at the moment it was potentially a huge problem; indeed, the old me would probably have had a breakdown.

Remember that we are always in control of our lives and it is not the situations we encounter that determine whether we are happy or not; it’s our perception of them!

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Miracles Do Happen – Part One


257217_3122756407381_1705689662_oI’m going to share an experience with you that proved to me (as if I needed any proof) that miracles most certainly do happen. Over Christmas 2013 I found myself in a situation that seemed impossible; in fact I just didn’t know what I was going to do. There were similarities with situations from years gone by, and I really couldn’t believe that I now found myself seemingly trapped in a scenario of pain and despair, having turned my life around (or so I thought) many years ago. What I couldn’t understand was, that I was no longer the angry and resentful person I was back in the day; so why was I now faced with this situation? I’ve made no secret of the fact that the way I lived my life when I was younger has made things quite difficult for me at times during this stage of my life. I’ve also made no secret of the fact that I choose to live my life in a certain way that can at times produce hardships. But by and large, my needs have always been met so I just tend to plod along and take things as they come.

Throughout December I had not had much work; very little really, and there was not much on the horizon for the new year so I had very little money coming in. It was difficult enough already with the cost of living spiraling out of control, when all of a sudden my car died on me. The mechanic I use managed to get it going but the outcome was that it was going to cost such a lot of money to get it repaired that I would be better off scrapping it and buying a new one. The only problem was, how? I had just about enough money to buy an old runaround, but I know nothing about cars and I’m easy pickings for unscrupulous car salesmen. Also, how would I get out and about in order to buy one? The car I had was still driveable, but only over short distances; it was too dangerous to contemplate journeys of more than 6-8 miles because the engine kept overheating. My mind went into overdrive…

I had a serious case of “what am I going to do” syndrome. I told myself that I would have to register as unemployed, but that I would not be able to look for a job because I would have no way of getting anywhere. Tetbury is not exactly remote, but the bus service is very limited and very expensive. I told myself that within a few months I would be a sad case sitting in my little bungalow in the depths of despair and that my gas, electric and phone would be cut off because I had no means of paying my bills. I didn’t sleep very well for two nights; and then I came to my senses!

I knew that by constantly churning out all those negative thoughts I was only going to create more misery further on down the road; I told myself that it was about time I started to put into practice the principles that I speak about so often during the course of my spiritual work. I started by reminding myself of a few things. In no particular order I reminded myself that I am not a body; I am Divine Consciousness and the world I find myself in is only an illusion; therefore, at worst, my situation is only a part of that illusion. I reminded myself that I, and no one else, am the creator of my reality within this illusion and that it is impossible to die. I reminded myself that if I am responsible for creating my situation, albeit an illusionary one, then I also have the power within me to create circumstances in my life that are more favourable. Finally, I reminded myself that if I am Divine Consciousness at my deepest level, and if Divine Consciousness is the only reality, then if, to the best of my ability, I am able to experience myself as who I really am, then my problem would go away; after all, it was only a problem because my mind said so!

So I set about hatching a master plan!

I decided that I would meditate before going to bed. My thinking behind this was, that if I could experience myself as pure consciousness before retiring for the night, it would be like giving my mind a shower and I would be able to sleep better. Now, I always try to be thankful on a daily basis for all my blessings, but in my current situation I felt that an extra strong “attitude of gratitude” would go a long way towards helping me. In other words, instead of whining and moaning because my car is terminally sick and my whole world is doom and gloom, it would be much better to be consciously grateful for the abundance I already have. So, I made a point of thanking God for the bed that I sleep in, the roof over my head, my food, my clothes, my fresh drinking water and for things that are taken for granted, such as being able to look up into the night sky and gaze at the stars. Quite remarkably, within a few days things started to change.

Part Two coming shortly.