Eyesight To The Blind – Poem


I can’t believe that it’s been five weeks since I wrote something new; indeed the last time was when I published the last article of my “Who Am I?” series. You may or may not recall that I shared with you my intention of elaborating on the story and publishing it as a book in 2018. Well, I came up with this very simple poem that I’d like to share with you. I intend to display it at the beginning of the book before the actual story begins. Or I might even kick the first chapter off with it. I may yet make some changes, but this is what it looks like at the moment.

I’m in the dark

I cannot see

Myself I cannot find

I know it not

But all I seek

Is Eyesight To The Blind

 

The pain, the pain

But tis not me!

It’s the others! Says my mind

And as I burn

I stay bereft

Of Eyesight To The Blind

 

The ages pass

At last a light

I glimpse on distant shore

My Eyesight To The Blind

I need not

Seek thee anymore

 

Awake, awake

Oh dormant soul

No more the dark for you

Your time is now

Arise, go forth

And to the Self be true

Living Proof That The Spirit Has No Boundaries


Here’s another post from 2011 (based on a true story). It has a certain naïve charm to it. When I read these old posts I can see clearly how I’ve evolved and how my writing has changed. Still worth a read though I think!

Author Richard F Holmes's avatarAuthor - Richard F Holmes

In 1995 I was in a very dark place; I’d been suffering from depression for years but had no idea.  I was also in a dead-end and brain numbingly boring job, working for the Royal Mail in Swindon, Wiltshire.  I desperately wanted to break free of my humdrum existence and decided to pursue something completely different and creative.  I had always been a big fan of rock and blues music and like many, played a mean ham-fisted guitar.  My guitars were my pride and joy and I decided I was going to become a full-time student at New College in Swindon on their BTEC ”Popular Music” course.  It was a huge decision; it meant giving up full time employment and struggling by on casual jobs, such as washing pots and bar work; but I decided that I really needed the adventure.  A while before the course was due to start, the college…

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Pure Love From Baba


A little gem from 2011…

Author Richard F Holmes's avatarAuthor - Richard F Holmes

Distance is no bar for the dawn of love. The lotus blooms as soon as the sun peeps over the horizon – Sri Sathya Sai Baba

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Joy And Grief Are One

Video


My first you tube video in absolutely ages…

Tears


Author Richard F Holmes's avatarAuthor - Richard F Holmes

I don’t know where this came from, but I first posted it on 28 April 2011. Such beauty has gotta be worth a re-blog!

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

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The Holy Trinity Of Love, The Child & Innocence


Author Richard F Holmes's avatarAuthor - Richard F Holmes

There is a child in all of us regardless of physical age, an inner child whose very nature is love in all its innocent glory.  The unsullied child; without judgement, prejudice or bias in any form.  Ever the impartial and silent observer, a microcosm of equanimity within the great macrocosm, unruffled by the helter skelter of the illusion that is earthly life.  If this is so why does life tend to be so painful and difficult?

The reason for this is because when we plunge into the realm of matter, encased within a body of flesh, we become immersed in the monkey-mind-like chatter of information picked up by the senses from the external world; which is then fed to our own logical minds.  Our minds then tend to race, churning countless fragments of information around as if in a tumble dryer.  The result of this is worry and confusion and we simply lose sight of…

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Who Am I? Epilogue


When I first started writing this series of posts, what seems like an absolute age ago now, I never dreamed it would stretch to 35 articles. The whole idea was so that people who have only started following my blog in recent years could gain an understanding of where I’ve come from. Having said that, this story has been far from an ego trip, and apart from the spiritual implications of my journey, there is also a very real and practical message in here that I would like to get out. That message is, that in life we will all experience many things that will test us and wear us down. Many of those things will be extremely unpleasant. However, regardless of what we go through, we do not have to be victims. When you are going through pain, it is very easy (and understandable) to blame particular people or circumstances, and it is a common human trait to cling for dear life, on to things that cause us pain. But my point is that you can experience all manner of difficulties, but to be a victim of them, is unfortunately, a choice.

When I look back on where I’ve come from, I actually feel a little bit embarrassed. Because what I experienced seems to me to be very insignificant compared to what some people go through. However, at the time my pain was very real and I will never forget the depths of darkness to which I sank, or the excruciating emotional pain that I felt at times; pain that cut through me like a sword. It was only when I finally realised that the world was not responsible for the way I felt, that I was able to change things. No one but me was responsible for making changes in my life.

One thing that has really been brought home to me from my experiences, is the importance of our parents. Regardless of the kind of relationship, if any, we have with them, they are so important for our growth. As I stated very early in this series, I had extremely difficult relationships with both my parents, but for different reasons. I now understand that I was there for their growth as much as they were there for mine. I also now understand that both of them did a fantastic job in accordance with the understanding and level of consciousness that they had. So, Dick and Elsie, I salute you! I also have to admit that I must have been an absolute nightmare for them at times! Another thing that I now understand is that both of them were a reflection of me, and I of them; reflecting the good as well as the not so good.

My journey has been one of an awakening. However, I am the first to admit that I have some way to go yet. I know this because if I was a fully realized soul, I would not be talking about journeys and awakening, because in Consciousness there is nowhere to go and nothing to awaken from. I firmly believe that my chronic fatigue is a part of my awakening process, and there is something else that I know many of you will be able to relate to. If you are a spiritually minded person; and I’m presuming you are if you are reading this, have you noticed that several old and stale traits that you thought you’d dealt with years ago have started to rear their heads again? My understanding, although I’m not saying that this is set in stone, is that when we are awakening, we can only awaken in stages; very few souls have the traumatic experience of sudden and complete awakening. The process can be very painful indeed so we have to awaken gradually. When we become more and more evolved after clearing out what we believe to be all the debris lodged in the soul, it can be quite a surprise when “stuff” starts to pop up again. But this can be likened to the “exhaust fumes” effect that I spoke about in a previous article. After the vehicle has long gone, the smell of exhaust fumes lingers in the air until it too dissipates.

Speaking of sudden and complete awakening. One soul who went through such a process was the Indian sage, Ramana Maharshi; this is described in great detail in the book, The Mind of Ramana Maharshi by Arthur Osborne. I can thoroughly recommend this book, and indeed, all of the Arthur Osborne books on the teachings of the great man. My own awakening process has escalated greatly since I became aware of the Maharshi and his teachings.

So, this is it folks. Thank you for continuing to support my blog and please do “like” and leave a comment. I will now leave you with the answer to the question, “Who Am I”?, that I have asked 35 times during the writing of my story. But before I do, I just want to let you know that I have decided to put all this into book form, for release in 2018. The book will contain more detail and will be called, Eyesight To The Blind.

Yes, I have experienced dark times. I “suffered” with depression for an estimated 28 years, I have “suffered” psychological abuse, also for a prolonged period of time and I have been on the receiving end of domestic violence and “suffered” organisational abuse. One thing that I have not revealed until now is that I also experienced sexual abuse at the age of 8. It only happened once, but once was enough! I experienced my acute stress related illness too, which finally served as my wake up call. Throughout all this I chose to be a victim and suffered the consequences of that choice until I realised that all the answers were contained within me. I then embarked on my spiritual journey, which also had its ups and downs, the main focus of which was my work as a medium. Now as I type it is two days since undertaking my last ever booking in that line of work. I don’t know what the future holds, but I suppose the only true answer to that is, that the future will hold for me whatever my mind creates.

I have come to the understanding that there really is only consciousness, and nothing else, that there really is nothing to do except to allow oneself to be as a hollow bamboo in order that the higher power may weave its magic through us. I am a beautiful soul, a being of light, having an imaginary adventure; during which I will hopefully get to know myself in my own experience and love myself for the delightful soul that I am. In a nutshell…

I am that I am..

Finally….

Before and After

Me looking like an axe killer! Taken in Bielefeld hostel during my Who blasting days.

 

 

Who Am I? Part Thirty Four


I stated right at the beginning of my story that I always felt that I never belonged anywhere, and that remains the case today. The only difference between now and then, is that these days I understand why. It’s just as well because I don’t think I’ve ever felt more different that I do now. Even within the spiritual environment I have never felt as though I fitted in; I have never been mainstream with regard to my work as a medium. As a result of this, over the last few years I have questioned even more the purpose of me carrying on with this type of work. Work that is so far removed from the reality of Self and which relies on the presence of the false-self in order to function. Work that will ultimately only serve to hold me back (due to its dualistic nature). Hence, in the last few years more and more of my regular churches and centres stopped booking me, and I too, became much more choosy with regard to which ones I served. The culmination of this is that this coming Sunday, 3 December 2017, I will be taking my last Divine Service. It will be at the spiritualist church in Stroud; which was one of the first centres I served way back in 2002. They say you should never say never, but there would have to be some really special reason for me to stand up as a medium again.

I mentioned in a previous post the feeling of not being a part of the chaos that goes on around us in the world; but rather, simply being a witness. Well that is something else that has become more and more prominent these last few years. Another thing I wanted to mention is that I have also pulled away from the Sai Baba groups as well. They undoubtedly do a lot of good work, but something that sticks in my mind is this. When Swami walked among us he would always emphasise that he was not the body, and that we should not worship his physical form. But even though Swami gave up his body in April 2011, I still find devotees bowing down to photos and worshipping them. Swami remains in my heart, but I have no attachment to photos.

I suppose this last post in the series (apart from the summary post) is really all about tying up a few loose ends, so there is a couple of things that I will touch on here to take us up to the end of Part Thirty Three.

A wise man once said that the universe only exists when there is an observer; and of course, this is true, as we ourselves create the world in which we live via our thoughts. All that exists is consciousness; which vibrates as energy at varying degrees of subtlety. What we see as the world is a combination of two things; a reflection of what is going on inside us, and our mind’s interpretation of the particular vibration we are gazing at. Which brings me onto my out-of-body experiences. I believe I mentioned earlier in my story that somebody once asked me, “why, what’s the point”? It made me think, and I came to the conclusion that they occurred in order that I could inform others that there most certainly is more than what we experience here in the physical world. That’s fine, but I now look at things from a different angle. Firstly, you can only have an out-of-body experience if you assume that the body actually exists. Secondly, as everything we can see in this world is mind construct, it must stand to reason that everything we can see in the astral worlds must also be mind construct; albeit at a different level of vibration. Therefore my view now of what I once believed were incredible astral adventures, is that they have the same meaning as standing up and demonstrating mediumship or slapping someone around the face with a wet Kipper; in other words, they only have the meaning I choose to give them and in ultimate reality they don’t exist. These days my out-of-body experiences are very few and far between, and those that I have are very rarely worth writing about.

I would also like to mention something that I first wrote about in 2010; this is something I learned from my two visits to India. Westerners, understandably, have a habit of reacting to the extreme poverty they witness (especially concerning children) when visiting countries such as India, by wanting to help. This is very commendable, and some Westerners actually try to do something during their visit that they believe will help those in need. However, we need to be really careful how and when we do this, because we can actually end up causing more harm than good. As visitors, we don’t always understand the culture of the community we find ourselves in. I noticed in Puttaparthi that people can get very jealous if they see others in similar situations to themselves, seemingly being given preferential treatment by visitors. When we visit these countries we are only there for a matter of weeks before we move on. Once we have gone, those that we helped may be the subject of retribution by those who are jealous. They can be ostracized, or even beaten. There are quite often official organisations who will accept donations towards their projects. In many cases you can even decide where your money goes. In India, for example, if you wanted to donate Rs1000, you could ask for Rs250 to go towards feeding the poor, Rs250 to go towards a women’s shelter, Rs250 to go towards helping children and Rs250 to go towards an animal shelter. Or any amount and any combination that you wish.

My dear friends, I will return soonest with Who Am I? The Epilogue. Take care!

 

Who Am I? Part Thirty Three


The trouble with the whole 2012 thing, was that the good old media latched onto it and made it into something that it wasn’t. Hence, we had people talking about how the world was going to end; of course, this was never an option. Something that was quite significant for us as a species, was turned into an event that was the butt of jokes, and also gave amateur philosophers the world over the ammunition to expound all manner of theories and opinions. The truth was that the so-called “shift” started long before 21 December 2012, and was exactly that; a very subtle and gradual shift, the result of which meant that our consciousness or energies, whichever term you want to use, became more awakened. The date of 21 December 2012 simply signified the date in the ancient Mayan Calendar when a particular cycle would come to an end. I feel qualified to give this explanation because of what I actually experienced at the time.

A friend of mine once said to me that creation was like an onion. He said it consisted of many layers; and every now and then a layer would peel away and reveal a truth. With this in mind, the first few weeks of 2013 were very interesting for me. There was definitely something different going on, and indeed, the onion of life most certainly did peel away several layers and reveal several truths to me. Of course, I am speaking metaphorically, as we know there is only ONE truth. What I would like to add, however, to my friend’s pearl of wisdom is this; not only does the onion of life reveal truth to you, but as it does so, illusion and delusion, in the form of previous unreal perspectives, dissolves away. So, I had several eureka moments during the first 3-4 weeks of 2013. By the time April came along I had another quite significant experience.

I was booked to do a clairvoyant night at a pub on the outskirts of Cheltenham. I had already got to the stage where I was questioning the relevance of clairvoyant nights from a spiritual perspective. I did not feel that the churning out of mundane messages to people who were, in the main not interested in spirituality, served me any longer. I had already got into the habit of turning down bookings for clairvoyant nights, and I felt that I’d served my apprenticeship and worked my fair share of difficult venues, so I was not too keen on working in a pub. Nonetheless, I accepted the booking. It turned out to be one of those situations where out of great adversity, advantage blossomed!

It was a new initiative by the pub proprietors in an effort to bring in more punters. They had held a couple of these nights already and were going to make it a regular thing. On this particular occasion it was my turn. The event was to take place in the skittle alley upstairs, and on arrival it became apparent that the organisers were clueless. They had no understanding of this kind of thing, and apart from putting the chairs out, did absolutely nothing. There was not even any water put out for me, and I drink gallons of the stuff when I’m working. So, I got my water sorted out and it transpired that I was just left to my own devices. This is unheard of; there is ALWAYS a chairperson; the medium is never just left alone to get on with it. So, there I was; I got up to speak and immediately knew I was in for a rough night. I’d had some tough ones in my time, but this one took the biscuit! Firstly, the energies in this old building were awful (old English pubs do tend to have history), then I noticed that one of the punters had at least one negative entity attached to him. Then to top it off, there was a row of young girls in the audience that disrupted the whole session. The old me would have got angry, but the new me saw it as a challenge.

So, as well as having to work in such negative energies I also had to cope with the teenage girls giggling and nudging each other from start to finish. Everyone I went to had negative body language and did not understand the concept of working with the medium. People did not respond to me; which is absolutely essential for any demonstration of mediumship. So I was standing up in front of these people who were either giggling or just gawping at me. I found it nigh-on impossible to get spirit information, and I had to endure some incredibly long periods of silence; it’s a shame that the silence did not extend to the teenage girls in the audience. This had never happened to me before, and after what seemed like an absolute age, the event came to an end. Incredibly, some of the people came up to me and thanked me for their messages, and some even apologised for the behaviour of the young girls, even though it was nothing to do with them. Some of them complained to the management about the girls’ behaviour and I understand that they were banned from attending future events.

As I drove away from that venue I had a bit of a smile on my face. I was happy that I’d done my best not to be judgemental and just carried on with the task in hand. The experience also confirmed what I already knew, working in pubs no longer served my soul, and neither did clairvoyant demonstrations. From then on I only served two venues that laid on pure clairvoyant nights; the reason for that was because they were two venues where I had always received great support and continuing to serve them was my way of maintaining the connection.

I continued to bumble along; it was very difficult to eek out a living from my spiritual work on a self-employed basis. I also worked as a “helping hand”, for an organisation called Care and Repair. It was a charity that gave support to vulnerable adults in their homes. That was also on a self-employed basis, and even though the money wasn’t brilliant, it added a few pounds of much-needed income to the coffers. As 2013 was nearing its end, something else happened that was nothing short of miraculous.

As a helping hand, I was down to one solitary client; an elderly lady with dementia and poor mobility who lived six miles away. It was Boxing Day, December 26, and I was due to go and see her for a couple of hours. I would do a bit of cleaning and make sure she had a meal. But when I went out to the car it wouldn’t start. I reported in and someone else went out to see the elderly lady. Between Christmas and New Year my trusty mechanic, Tony, got the car going and I thought all was OK. But the day before New Year’s Eve, I set off on a journey to visit a friend who lived near Grimsby (around 170 miles away). I only got eight miles down the road and I heard a knocking sound coming from under the bonnet. I managed to pull over and have a look and found that the water reservoir container was empty. The knocking sound was because the hard plastic container had become so hot, it was banging against the inner framework of the car. It was lucky I’d only travelled eight miles.

I managed to get back home and took the car to Tony again once the New Year was out of the way. He said it would cost a fortune to repair; far more than the car was worth and that I’d be better off getting a new car. That was the worst thing he could have told me. Where would I get the money to buy a new car? I succumbed to the yarn being spun by my mind and went into severe panic mode. There was very little money coming in anyway and now I had no car. Tetbury has a very sparse and expensive bus service, so I would have no way of getting about either. It was a serious case of , “what am I going to do”? Now, I have written extensively about what happened next, so I’m not going to go into all the detail here, because I will still be writing at midnight. You can read the incredible story by clicking on the two links below entitled, Miracles Do Happen.

Miracles Do Happen

Miracles Do Happen 2

But to give you a bit of an idea, I had hardly any work, no car to get to that work, or to look for work, or even to get out and try to claim benefits for an interim period. I realised I was being my own worse enemy and took steps to change my mental attitude. Miraculously, shortly after taking these steps, someone just gave me £1000, right out of the blue. Not only that, they said I didn’t even need to pay it back. It was more miraculous because I never even asked that person for any money! Then shortly after that I got a job from an unexpected source and not long after that, another car!

The next post will be the last in the series, but there will be a summary post after that. We are now at February 2014.

Absolutely Old Boy!


All talk of Heaven and Earth is only relevant when one falsely believes the unreal to be real. From the perspective of the ego there is a huge gap between Heaven and Earth; a gap that cannot be explained in words, such is its gulf. It is also a myth that there are stages to attaining the dizzy heights of Heaven (enlightenment). The truth is that when the ego is present we create our own Heaven here on Earth (or Hell). In the same way that comparing a low number, for example 2, with a high number, say 20 billion, pales into insignificance from the perspective of the Absolute, where all numbers are irrelevant, the same can be said for comparisons between Heaven and Earth. In Absolute Reality, there are no stages to work through, no places to go to or compare; there is only the truth of Being, no separateness, no subject/object relationships; only One. Nothing else exists.