Torn Between Two Lovers

First of all I’d like to thank all followers of my blog for your continued support, and wish you all the very best for 2016. Now…

430291_2467576108854_1835875393_1522542_1696066249_nWhen we are completely lost and have no idea of our true nature, we constantly crave the things and people that we believe will make us happy. There is nothing wrong with that, as such, because it is a completely natural thing to want to be happy. However, what we do not realise is that “the world” can never, ever give us the everlasting joy that we desire. In our spiritual blindness we are completely oblivious to the relative nature of creation and that it is constantly moving in cycles; thus, any joy we find will inevitably, eventually make way for grief.

As we start to awaken and we develop a thirst for spiritual knowledge and a desire for spiritual growth, we slowly start to realise how the world functions and we come to understand relativity and how life is cyclic. We learn that we have to look in the opposite direction from the world in order to find the bliss that we crave. We learn to look within ourselves for the answers to life’s mysteries. We revel in delight as truth starts to reveal itself, and we become as kids ripping open our presents on Christmas morning. For a while life becomes a roller-coaster of self-discovery. Then…

Life can be quite lonely for the spiritual aspirant on the verge of awakening. Old friends and acquaintances start to fall by the wayside as they no longer resonate with us. Old habits and attachments are discarded because they no longer serve us. We suddenly realise that we have done a lot of shedding but not much attracting, and find ourselves in a kind of no-man’s-land. We start to have doubts, and look over our shoulders at all the old stuff disappearing from view, and then it happens…

It’s as though we are torn between two lovers. We know that we must let go of our previous way of life because it no longer serves who we have evolved into. We know that we are eternal bliss personified, but… The new stuff is taking its time in arriving; our “new” life is dragging its heels in taking shape. We start to look back and crave all the old stuff again; forgetting that it never brought us lasting happiness then, and that it is not going to now either. Hesitation, procrastination, feelings of self-doubt and vulnerability; like an old lover who just will not go away, the old stuff grabs us by the ankles and will not let go. So, two things to realise here.

Firstly, there is no need to be alarmed; this is just the ego clinging on for dear life. It knows its days are numbered and in desperation tries to get us to revert back to old ways and mind sets. Secondly, we already have eternal bliss; it’s who and what we are. In our humanness we believe we have to bust a gut to achieve something that we already have. The truth is that all we need to do is just allow ourselves to “be”, and let the universe flow naturally. Yes, the ego will continue to play its tricks in an effort to disrupt, but the power that we are will always win the day.

I’m torn between two lovers at the moment and I’m sure there are many of you reading this who will know exactly what I mean.

9 thoughts on “Torn Between Two Lovers

  1. Thank you Richard. As usual beautifully expressed and from the heart. You have a gift with words.

    Feeling very down over the ‘festive’ period I asked my Spirit friends for an explanation as to why I was not included and, in one instance, actively excluded from these annual celebrations. Christmas lunch alone is not for me and has been hard to endure. The explanation came this morning with your blog. Interest in things Spiritual has a profound effect on ones social circle. I have ceased to resonate with people known to me for years. Their ideas, their goals, their loves and their hates all seem so petty but I shared them once. It is me that has moved to another space and as time has gone on it seems there is little agreeable to chat about to sustain a meeting of minds. I thought being out of the loop was caused by some flaw in my character and this was the drift of my enquiry of Spirit. Thank you for putting my mind at rest, Richard. I fancy you received a strong prompt from someone my end as they know I read all your offerings.

    May I wish you peace and contentment in 2016. We will all need to keep our heads whilst those around us are losing theirs. This world needs strength and stability at this time and it is up to us as Spirit workers to provide this. Perhaps turning ones back on the known and comfortable in ones own life provides the necessary strength and training to face the Spiritual battle ahead of us all.


    • Glad I was able to help you Meri and thanks for taking the time to comment. Yes, I know exactly what you mean and have also felt like you in the past. But these days I prefer to spend Christmas alone; it is just another day to me anyway. I don’t do the hype and I am not a Christian, so it is completely meaningless as far as I’m concerned. The ego tells us that we should be engaging in the whole festive thing and if we are not then it’s natural to feel excluded and flawed. However, to be alone with the soul is not such a bad thing! Wishing you love and abundance for 2016!


  2. Food for thought …..we are so involved with identification with physical body, its relationship with others and intensely believe in all things we perceive in this illusory world (compared to the milky way – universe – size of earth – our life span of say 100 years which is minute seen against light years ) all this gives rise to conflicts. When we reach deep within ourselves and reach out to divine with in then all conflicts gets resolved. Wishing you dear Richard an enlightened and blissful 2016.
    Madhusudanvithal Nori


  3. Pingback: Torn Between Two Lovers – Slight Return | Author & Medium Richard F Holmes

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