Torn Between Two Lovers – Slight Return


It’s now almost a week since I returned from my trip, but it might as well be a million years ago, because it all seems nothing more than a distant memory. It was a strange sort of trip really, but it prompted me to revisit a subject that I wrote about back in January 2016. The original article, Torn Between Two Lovers, can be accessed by clicking on the link below.

https://richardfholmes.org/2016/01/04/torn-between-two-lovers/

I don’t want to simply repeat the content of the original article here, so I will just briefly summarise. The spiritual concept of being “torn between two lovers”, is when the individual has started to awaken and let go of old and stale mind-sets and habits, that have held them back and only caused hurt and pain in the past. But as they awaken to their true nature they find that they are shedding loads of the past, but the new stuff is taking its time manifesting. So, the ego rears its head and thoughts arise in the mind that cause the individual to start looking over the shoulder and hanker after the things that have been, and are being shed. Like an old lover that just won’t go away, the old habits start to look tempting. You are in a kind of no-man’s land and the ego tries to fool you into believing that the things that only ever brought you sorrow will now somehow bring you joy if you go after them again. Of course, this isn’t true; as I found…

While I was away I indulged in old habits, and whilst I did get a modicum of enjoyment out of it, it quickly became apparent that these habits no longer served me and that I was deluded if I thought otherwise. However, in typical Holmsey fashion I had to keep indulging to the point where I felt ugly and bloated. I told myself that as I was away on a trip it didn’t matter and that I would have plenty of time to revert back on my return home. I know that most people do this kind of thing when they go away on holiday, but in my case I knew that at a deeper level I was still torn between two lovers.

Here’s a few pics of Bruges for your enjoyment!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Torn Between Two Lovers


First of all I’d like to thank all followers of my blog for your continued support, and wish you all the very best for 2016. Now…

430291_2467576108854_1835875393_1522542_1696066249_nWhen we are completely lost and have no idea of our true nature, we constantly crave the things and people that we believe will make us happy. There is nothing wrong with that, as such, because it is a completely natural thing to want to be happy. However, what we do not realise is that “the world” can never, ever give us the everlasting joy that we desire. In our spiritual blindness we are completely oblivious to the relative nature of creation and that it is constantly moving in cycles; thus, any joy we find will inevitably, eventually make way for grief.

As we start to awaken and we develop a thirst for spiritual knowledge and a desire for spiritual growth, we slowly start to realise how the world functions and we come to understand relativity and how life is cyclic. We learn that we have to look in the opposite direction from the world in order to find the bliss that we crave. We learn to look within ourselves for the answers to life’s mysteries. We revel in delight as truth starts to reveal itself, and we become as kids ripping open our presents on Christmas morning. For a while life becomes a roller-coaster of self-discovery. Then…

Life can be quite lonely for the spiritual aspirant on the verge of awakening. Old friends and acquaintances start to fall by the wayside as they no longer resonate with us. Old habits and attachments are discarded because they no longer serve us. We suddenly realise that we have done a lot of shedding but not much attracting, and find ourselves in a kind of no-man’s-land. We start to have doubts, and look over our shoulders at all the old stuff disappearing from view, and then it happens…

It’s as though we are torn between two lovers. We know that we must let go of our previous way of life because it no longer serves who we have evolved into. We know that we are eternal bliss personified, but… The new stuff is taking its time in arriving; our “new” life is dragging its heels in taking shape. We start to look back and crave all the old stuff again; forgetting that it never brought us lasting happiness then, and that it is not going to now either. Hesitation, procrastination, feelings of self-doubt and vulnerability; like an old lover who just will not go away, the old stuff grabs us by the ankles and will not let go. So, two things to realise here.

Firstly, there is no need to be alarmed; this is just the ego clinging on for dear life. It knows its days are numbered and in desperation tries to get us to revert back to old ways and mind sets. Secondly, we already have eternal bliss; it’s who and what we are. In our humanness we believe we have to bust a gut to achieve something that we already have. The truth is that all we need to do is just allow ourselves to “be”, and let the universe flow naturally. Yes, the ego will continue to play its tricks in an effort to disrupt, but the power that we are will always win the day.

I’m torn between two lovers at the moment and I’m sure there are many of you reading this who will know exactly what I mean.