Torn Between Two Lovers


First of all I’d like to thank all followers of my blog for your continued support, and wish you all the very best for 2016. Now…

430291_2467576108854_1835875393_1522542_1696066249_nWhen we are completely lost and have no idea of our true nature, we constantly crave the things and people that we believe will make us happy. There is nothing wrong with that, as such, because it is a completely natural thing to want to be happy. However, what we do not realise is that “the world” can never, ever give us the everlasting joy that we desire. In our spiritual blindness we are completely oblivious to the relative nature of creation and that it is constantly moving in cycles; thus, any joy we find will inevitably, eventually make way for grief.

As we start to awaken and we develop a thirst for spiritual knowledge and a desire for spiritual growth, we slowly start to realise how the world functions and we come to understand relativity and how life is cyclic. We learn that we have to look in the opposite direction from the world in order to find the bliss that we crave. We learn to look within ourselves for the answers to life’s mysteries. We revel in delight as truth starts to reveal itself, and we become as kids ripping open our presents on Christmas morning. For a while life becomes a roller-coaster of self-discovery. Then…

Life can be quite lonely for the spiritual aspirant on the verge of awakening. Old friends and acquaintances start to fall by the wayside as they no longer resonate with us. Old habits and attachments are discarded because they no longer serve us. We suddenly realise that we have done a lot of shedding but not much attracting, and find ourselves in a kind of no-man’s-land. We start to have doubts, and look over our shoulders at all the old stuff disappearing from view, and then it happens…

It’s as though we are torn between two lovers. We know that we must let go of our previous way of life because it no longer serves who we have evolved into. We know that we are eternal bliss personified, but… The new stuff is taking its time in arriving; our “new” life is dragging its heels in taking shape. We start to look back and crave all the old stuff again; forgetting that it never brought us lasting happiness then, and that it is not going to now either. Hesitation, procrastination, feelings of self-doubt and vulnerability; like an old lover who just will not go away, the old stuff grabs us by the ankles and will not let go. So, two things to realise here.

Firstly, there is no need to be alarmed; this is just the ego clinging on for dear life. It knows its days are numbered and in desperation tries to get us to revert back to old ways and mind sets. Secondly, we already have eternal bliss; it’s who and what we are. In our humanness we believe we have to bust a gut to achieve something that we already have. The truth is that all we need to do is just allow ourselves to “be”, and let the universe flow naturally. Yes, the ego will continue to play its tricks in an effort to disrupt, but the power that we are will always win the day.

I’m torn between two lovers at the moment and I’m sure there are many of you reading this who will know exactly what I mean.

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Richard’s Video Blog #6


I hope you enjoy my video blog #6, What Is Ego? It explains what the ego is and how it can hamper our spiritual progress if we are not careful.

A Bit Of Edgar


FOD SunsetI thought it was about time I checked in with you again. This is the first of three little posts I’ll be adding before I go away on my regular August trip to West Wales. I’m hoping that my jaunt will give me something to write about on my return and not be a false alarm like my trip in May was. You may or may not remember that my first night away last May produced TWO out-of-body experiences AND a visitation from my wonderful Swami, Sri Sathya Sai Baba. But instead of it being the start of more mind-blowing experiences, it served only to lull me into a false sense of anticipation as my mind remained un-blown throughout the rest of my time away.

Anyway, enough of that, I thought I would share some wisdom from Edgar Cayce with you. Hope you enjoy it. Watch this space for my video blog #6.

Those things that bring pleasure and ease in material associations in our life are not at fault unless we worship them or use them selfishly. Things of the earth will pass away, but love that sustains in the hour of testing abides with us always. Knowing this, let us keep the earth singing. This can be done as we look deeper into the heart of the rose, listen to the song of the bird, see the paintings of His face in the setting sun, see the loveliness in the moonbeam that turns all into the radiance of His glory, see in the raindrop, the storm, all nature, and even in those ugly things in people’s lives, the desire for expressing love rather than hate, harmony rather than discord – Edgar Cayce

Each soul goes on from things terrestrial to things celestial, from things material to things mental and spiritual, and in each of these realms the consciousness of the soul seeks expression in that particular field of activity which it has built within its own inner self. The soul lives on that it may become more and more aware of abiding, and living, and being in the Christ Consciousness – Edgar Cayce

Sai Humour 5


I would like to share with you three more amusing littles stories from the Sai Humour series of articles.

In the interview room once Sai Baba asked a devotee ”how do you spell wife”?  Before the man could answer Baba said  ”W.I.F.E, Worry Invited For Ever”.  Then seeing the look of disappointment on the face of the man’s wife he corrected himself and very sweetly said ”Wisdom Invited For Ever”.

A young man with long hair was amongst a number of devotees who had been called for a group interview one day.  After teasing the man for looking like a woman Baba told him to get a haircut.  The man said ”will you cut the first lock Swami”.  Shaking his head in mock horror Baba said ”I am Baba not barber”!

The American Dr John Hislop was blessed with having spent a lot of time with Swami before he left this Earth in 1996.  One day Hislop was invited along with Baba and other devotees to the house of a very well meaning devotee for lunch.  On seeing that there was not going to be enough food to go round Baba said to Hislop ”go to the car and bring the food”.  Hislop, knowing that there was no food in the car went anyway, expecting Baba to have performed one of his miracles.  But even he did not expect the sight that greeted him.  He was astounded to see two angels, complete with wings, standing by the car holding trays of food.  He took the trays and went back in the house with his mouth wide open in amazement.  On seeing the look on his face Baba said ”shut your mouth Hislop, they are always there, it’s just that you do not see them”!

Being Looked After


I’ve been thinking lately how unbelievably lucky I am.  Having said that, I’m sure it’s true to say that I’ve earned my luck over many lifetimes, but I can’t help thinking how unbelievably lucky I am that the Divine looks after me in the way that he/she does.  Indeed, I am living proof that the phrase ”somebody up there must have been looking down on me” is very apt.  In the earlier stages of this life I got myself into some sticky situations because of my naivety and desperation to ”belong” and later as a soldier stationed in Germany my choice of haunts left something to be desired; but miraculously I always seemed to avoid trouble.  More recently my ignorance of certain matters has left me in extremely vulnerable situations, but again, I remain unscathed.

At the age of 14 I’d got in with the wrong crowd.  I’d had very difficult relationships with my parents (for different reasons) and got sucked into friendships simply out of a desire to be accepted and to belong.  I didn’t understand back then that to simply be me was the only identity I would ever need and went from living one lie to the other.  These friends came and went because they were not true friends, but by the time I was 16 I was hanging out in the West End of London a few nights a week, specifically the soho area.  I had been introduced to the area by one of these friends who was a couple of years older than me and much more worldly-wise.  I took to hanging out in seedy clubs, sometimes not heading back to North London until after 07.00 a.m. or even later.  These clubs were frequented by prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, thieves and muggers, but somehow I never encountered any serious trouble.  Whenever trouble was brewing something always happened that kept me out of danger.

By the time I joined the army and got stationed in Dortmund in the then West Germany my only true friend was alcohol.  I became like a split personality; on one hand I kept people entertained with my impressions and wit; but that was just a front for my other self, who was quite depressed and withdrawn.  I didn’t like the army because of the hypocrisy and I didn’t like the squaddie mentality of wanting to beat people up after a few drinks; I was a happy drunk (when I wasn’t being depressed).  I was attracted, for some reason, to the seedy side of Dortmund which was ”under the bridge”.  It was a standing joke amongst the lads; and sometimes before descending on ”Der Stadt” we would say to each other ”whatever happens tonight I’m not going under the bridge”.  The bridge in question was a railway bridge in Dortmund City Centre.  All the nice respectable places were before the bridge, but once you went under the bridge it was a real den of iniquity.  The standing joke was that even as we were saying it we knew that after a skin-full of beer we would always end up there.  Quite often I would go down town on my own and go to the pubs under the bridge.  Looking back it was a very dangerous thing to do; British squaddies, after all, were not the most popular species in Dortmund City Centre.  I would go to some real holes on my own, but not once did I ever encounter any trouble.  I could relate several more stories from my teenage and army years as examples of being looked after but it would make this post too long, however, in more recent years there are other examples of how I have constantly been protected and I’d like to finish by sharing two of them with you.  Both of these examples involve cars.

What I know about cars can be written on the back of a postage stamp; to me cars are for driving and nothing else.  Sometimes I check my oil and water, but mainly I just drive my cars and hope for the best.  I bought a second-hand Toyota in 1999, it was a 1992 model with a genuine 28,000 miles on the clock.  I kept the car for nine years and never had one mechanical fault with it.  I only cleaned it a handful of times during that period as well because a car, to me, is simply a means of getting from A to B.  So, during the time I had the Toyota I only had to deal with natural wear and tear, such as buying new tyres occasionally, new wiper blades, a new battery (once) and just general servicing; renew spark plugs etc.

After I’d had the car roughly eight years, someone remarked one day about the good condition that it was apparently in.  I explained how long I’d had it and that I’d had no problems with it.  Then they said to me ”what about the cam belt”.  I didn’t know what the cam belt was and kind of just gave an indifferent reply.  Some time later I was having a similar conversation with a friend and she asked the same question about the cam belt, to which I gave a similar reply.  When she explained to me that the cam belt is very important and that if it snaps you might as well kiss your car goodbye, I thought that maybe I should look into it.  To cut a long story short, the car suddenly started to develop wear and tear problems that were quite major and in the space of a couple on months I had a lot of work done on it that cost a small fortune.  But the mechanic who carried out the repairs said he had never seen anything like it.  He was a nonreligious/spiritual person but even he said ”someone up there must have been looking down on you”.  Apparently you should change your cam belt about every 60,ooo miles.  When I eventually got it changed (it was the original belt from new) it had done over 166,000 miles.  The mechanic said it was a miracle it didn’t snap.  Also the radiator was completely rotten and the brake pads (also the original from new) were apparently right down to the metal.  Yet that car started first time every time, even throughout cold winters.  The brakes always worked perfectly, I never topped up the water once in the nine years I had it and it always ran like a dream.  Eventually, because it had started to cost me so much money I gave it away to the mechanic who had given me such good service over the previous couple of years.

The same mechanic sold me my next car, that I’m still driving; although I haven’t had the same good fortune with this one.  Well, having said that it would depend on your perspective.  It’s not relevant to mention various problems I had with the new car, but an incident in June 2009 is very relevant.  At the time I was working part-time on a site that housed adults with learning disabilities.  I drove onto the site and down to the unit where I was supposed to be working.  Because of the number of cars already taking up spaces I had to park up on a grass verge until staff on the earlier shift had gone home.  I went inside the unit and a few minutes later a colleague came in and asked if he could have a word with me.  He was quite embarrassed to have to tell me that he had reversed into my car with a works vehicle and put a dent in the front off-side wheel arch.  I could see that he felt awful about this, so I just said to him ”don’t worry it’s only a car”.  He promised me faithfully he would get it fixed no matter what and we just left it at that.

However, when I went to move the car into a proper parking space I was puzzled as to why it wouldn’t move.  Another colleague who was standing nearby was looking on and I could see he was trying to tell me something.  I got out of the car to find that both of my front wheels were pointing inwards, and my colleague informed me that it looked as though the front tracking rod had snapped.  This meant the car was undrivable.  It was also very strange because the colleague who reversed into my car was only travelling at about 5 MPH.  It soon became apparent to me why my car had been rendered unroadworthy in such strange circumstances.  My other colleague pointed out that if the tracking rod snapped at such low impact it must have been ready to go at any time.  The realisation then hit me that if it had snapped whilst I was on the motorway or even a major A road, then I would not be in a position to tell the tale.

It’s only since Sri Sathya Sai Baba came into my life in 2001 that I have really noticed that I am most definitely protected by the hand of grace.  I honestly don’t know why the good Lord protects me in this way; I can only assume that there are plans for me that do not involve me leaving this earthly life just yet.

Yes, its great being looked after and I’m so grateful for it.  The Divine certainly does have strange ways of protecting his children; but guess what?  I’m not complaining.

Sai Humour 3


I am prompted today to recall a truly funny prank that Sri Sathya Sai Baba pulled on some of his students some years ago at his mountain ashram in Kodai Kanal.  Swami enjoyed the cooler climate at Kodai and would normally visit late March/early April time.

It is well known that Baba would often use humour in demonstrating spiritual lessons, and on this particular occasion, he had decided that his students at Kodai had been slacking and needed a wake up call.  I am not exactly sure why, but I believe that Baba felt that the students were concentrating too much on his physical form and not on his teachings.  If any reader has heard this story before and has more accurate detail then I would ask you to leave a comment so that I can update the post.

The students were very, very excited, as always, at the prospect of Baba’s visit.  But they were left completely and utterly baffled by Swami’s attitude and manner towards them on his arrival as March was nearing its end.  Instead of greeting them in his usual way with loving smiles and words he completely ignored them; there was not so much as even a glance.  The students couldn’t understand this and were extremely upset; they simply couldn’t understand why their Swami, whom they loved so much, would neither speak to them nor look at them.

The students became more and more distraught as the days went by and their beloved Swami continued to ignore them.  When he passed them on campus he simply looked towards the ground and walked by without a word, a glance or a smile.  It got to the point where the students started to argue amongst themselves as they sought an explanation of Baba’s apparently strange behaviour.  Fingers were pointed and accusations flew around as emotions became more and more fraught.  I believe that this went on for around ten days until finally, as March bade its farewell and April descended, the students could take no more and decided to confront Baba.  This was unheard of but they were so desperately distraught that they waited until Swami was walking in the grounds and confronted him.  As they did so Baba, still keeping his head down, raised his eyes in their direction, and with a cheeky grin on his face said ”April fool” and walked off.

Life Is But A Dream


I am so very lucky.  I know that death is nothing more than a figment of the imagination.  I have been out of my body on many occasions and I have interacted with discarnate souls on the astral planes via telepathy.  In my astral form I learned to pass through solid objects and I can also will myself back into my body when I become bored with the experience.  Ah!  I love that word ”experience”, for to experience is to know.  But knowledge without experience is only theory or concept.

Yes, I am so very lucky, for I know from experience that this earthly life is nothing but a dream.