According to the likes of Eckhart Tolle and Rupert Spira, it’s quite common for people who are going through a spiritual awakening process to experience the resurfacing of negative traits, which were thought to have been dealt with ages ago. Not only that, but also to experience feelings of fear, hopelessness and vulnerability. This is something that I have been very aware of in my own daily existence for the past few years. However, the fact that I am actually aware of these experiences, is a very positive factor. I decided on this as a theme for a blog post, because I thought it would be very helpful for anyone who is experiencing the same thing as me.
My understanding of why this happens is because the ego (which doesn’t really exist) knows that it is on borrowed time, and does its utmost to stay alive; as long as there is fear and the derivatives thereof, the ego will continue to thrive. Normally, we are so wrapped up in our egoic earthly existence, we get completely sucked in by the “story” being told by the mind. We demonstrate negative traits and feel negative emotions without the awareness of them. Not in the context that is meant here anyway.
I have written in many previous posts about how we are “the witness” to the drama that is going on around us, and not participants in the true sense. So, I feel that it is encouraging to know that even though past negatives may have reared their heads, and doubt and fear have crept in, it is not necessarily a bad thing. Even though these things still don’t exactly feel good, what is good about it is that I am observing these feelings not only within my body, but also as a detached witness who knows that this is not who I am. With this understanding, all such thoughts and feelings pass through and dissolve away. The Self is always exactly as it is; ever still, ever the witness and ever reflecting the light of consciousness.