The Elephant In The Room Is Becoming More Visible

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Image by John Hain from Pixabay

This latest blog post is a complete shift away from the usual subject matter that has formulated my posts since I started blogging in 2011.  I have been prompted to write about the once taboo subject of mental health; the reason for this will become clear in due course.  Those of you who have read my book, Eyesight To The Blind, will be aware that mental health issues formed a big part of my earlier life, and for those of you who may be new readers I will give an extremely condensed summary of my experiences before I continue with the post.

For many, many years, no matter where I found myself in the world and in whatever capacity, I always felt that I didn’t belong; like I was in the completely wrong place.  I also felt, for no apparent reason, the most excruciating emotional pain that made me feel as though I was the worst person in the world.  This would normally be triggered by feelings of loneliness and worthlessness.  In addition to that I would experience paranoia (although at the time I would have vociferously denied it) and could often withdraw into myself, especially if I felt that a group of people were excluding me.  When I finally found out, by accident no less, that I had depression, which was in 1996, I estimated that I’d been living with this “thing” for around 28 years.

Now that I had a name for what I’d been experiencing I was able to go about the task of tackling it.  Notice that I have not said that “I suffered” with depression; I will clarify in due course.  I lived with this condition at a time when it was not understood and not spoken about.  If you said you were depressed it meant that you were hacked-off because your team lost on Saturday.  If you happened to persist with this notion of, “I’m depressed”, you would be ridiculed, told to man-up or pull yourself together; after all it’s only girls and sissies who get depression, isn’t it?

I initially went to my GP and asked for “happy pills”; he duly obliged, but I couldn’t stop drinking and we all know what happens when we combine the two.  It’s not exactly a marriage made in heaven.  After an experience that I never want a repeat of, I finally decided that enough was enough; I was simply tired of feeling awful.  Plan “B” was to flush my pills down the toilet, grab depression by the scruff of the neck, look it square in the eyes and (apologies to any minors, religious people, or people of a nervous disposition who may be reading!) knee it in the bollocks.  It worked a treat, I’d got to the point where I was recognising triggers, which is something you can’t do when you don’t know what you are experiencing.  Whenever a trigger reared its head, I simply acted in the opposite way to what I’d always done; for example, if I was feeling excluded I made a point of interacting with people.  However, I wasn’t quite out of the woods..

Around three years later, for a period of approximately two years, I had an experience in the workplace that caused me to be off work sick for a period of six months, with an acute stress related illness.  This was my real turning point.  I was full of hatred, anger and blame, but it was during that six-month period that I learned the root cause of the problem.. it was me.

I was defining myself by my illness and blaming the world for the way I felt.  It was only when I realised that I was the only person who could change my life that my life actually changed.  I realised that who I really am is something that goes way beyond my illness.  I could have gone on blaming other people and circumstances for ever, but no matter what I perceived that others had done to me, no matter how much I hated and blamed, the only person hurting was me.  Yes, I took certain actions, and I’d be happy to go into more detail if anybody reading this is interested; just contact me via the contact form below.  But the reality is, that all along the solution was within me.  I just had to experience what I now refer to as “my great adventure with depression”, in order to arrive in that awareness.  Now to the whole point of this post.

I think it’s fantastic that there is now a much greater understanding and awareness of what is an awful illness.  It’s amazing that more and more people are not afraid to talk about it.  What is especially refreshing is that so many famous sports stars and actors, past and present, are going public and sharing their experiences.  It proves that depression does not discriminate; it will make its home in anybody regardless of their status within society.  The elephant in the room is most certainly becoming more visible.

The concern that I have is this.  While it really is a great thing that so many are opening up about their experiences; especially with social media being so big now, it gives people a platform from which to share.  I see so many negative posts being churned out.  So many people it would seem, are defining themselves by their condition.  This is why I never say that I “suffered” with depression; I always say “I lived with”, or “I experienced”.  When we use “I” or “I am” in a sentence, we need to be very careful what words we use after because they really are defining.  The mind is such a powerful thing; we ARE literally what we think.  So, when we are constantly affirming that we are worthless, useless, inadequate, a victim etc, that is exactly what we will be.  I don’t know what the ultimate answer is, but I suppose that everyone in their own time will make the natural transition in the way that I did.  I just want to finish by saying two more things.

I’m not in any way trying to say that my experience is definitive.  We are all unique (thankfully) and we all have our own pathway.  I’m also not suggesting that the people tweeting and posting negative stuff are wrong.  It is what it is, and we are all at different stages of our journey.  In many cases they don’t know how to reach out in any other way.  I’m simply trying to highlight how harmful it can be when we define ourselves by negatives.

Finally, I wasn’t going to mention any individuals, but I’m going to mention the ex-footballer, Dean Windass.  He was an absolute beast in his day and still looks quite fearsome, but he is one of the many brave souls who are bearing all to the world.  The reason I mention Dean is because he posts regular videos on twitter.  Those videos are never rehearsed, they are completely raw; showing his humanness, and he always says how he feels but also he regularly sends out the message that if you are having a bad day; reach out to someone!  These days there is always someone who will listen respectfully, so don’t suffer in silence!

Like Dean’s videos, I hope that this post has reached out to you, that it has made at least a modicum of sense and that you have been able to take something from it.

Don’t forget, if you want to ask any specific questions about how I dealt with and beat depression, just get in touch via the form below.  Later people…

 

What Now?


Indeed; what now?  I’m really glad that Eyesight To The Blind is out there in paperback form, and the kindle version will launch some time later this month.  But I appear to have entered a flat phase and am continually asking myself, what now?  This really is a weird time of transition for me, I’m no longer working as a medium, my day job is stale and way past its sell-by date, my writing project has finished, so yes, to say I’m feeling quite flat at the moment would be an understatement.

I wanted to write a post last week, but “what to write”? I thought to myself.  Anyway, the most important thing is to be in communication, so I thought I would share three quite different and random things with you.  Two that came along recently and one from around 18 years ago.

Firstly, and I can’t quite believe that I’ve never written about this before; anywhere!  I’m going to share with you the one and only experience I’ve ever had of spirit manifesting itself objectively; in other words, right before my eyes and not on the inner plain.  I think the reason I’ve never written about this before is because it has simply slipped my mind.  It’s also not something that I would attach a lot of importance to these days, but it was very interesting at the time and I’m sure some of you will also find it quite interesting.

It happened round about 1999/2000.  It was when I was going to the open circle at the spiritualist church.  A man named Tom would quite often take the sessions in those early days.  We were sitting there in our circle, not in the dark but with the room dimly lit, and all of a sudden as I was looking at Tom, slightly behind him and to his left, there was a build up of spirit; literally.  The image of a man I believed to be Tom’s dad literally built up from the floor until it was a full manifestation.  He looked elderly and he had a briar pipe in his mouth.  The manifestation was not pure white, as you would probably imagine, but a very faint blue.  The image remained for a few moments and then disappeared.

The second thing I want to share with you happened very recently; less than two weeks back from the time of writing.  I wanted to spend a night away from Tetbury, so I had a look on Airbnb and saw a nice cheap room with en suite facilities.  I then realised that it was in a town called Highworth, which I knew quite well from my time living in Swindon, as they are in close proximity to each other.  I booked, and to my pleasure, the hosts turned out to be a lovely couple; she being a yoga teacher and he being an extremely learned and well-read man who worked as a creative writing tutor.  They were both very interesting to talk to.

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while will probably have realised that I don’t have a very high opinion of the church, and even though I do not accept the Biblical version of Christ, I do actually embrace the concept of a man who was called Jesus Christ and who walked the earth more than 2000 years ago.  However, my view of who he was differs drastically from the story pedaled by the church.  My male host, I will call him Peter, during a discussion said that there is no evidence anywhere, and there never has been, that Christ even existed.  I knew I was not as well-informed as him so I did not contest his view; instead, I listened intently.  Then he said something else, that was so obviously true, that it had never occurred to me before.

I’ve always felt that there is very little truth in the Bible, but Peter said something that gave me a bit of a eureka moment.  He said that there is only one passage in the Bible that has any significance; the rest you can just throw away.  That passage is in Exodus 3:14 where Moses asks God what he should say if, when he goes to the Israelites, they ask him the name of, “the God of their forefathers”, who sent him.  He gets the reply, “I AM, that is who I am”.  That statement,  “I AM, that is who I am”, must surely be the most profoundly true and powerful statement in the entire history of history itself.  That seven-word statement tells us everything we would ever want and need to know about that great and old chestnut; the meaning of life.

No beginning; no end.  No birth; no death.  The all and everything summed up right there and then in one seven-word statement.  You are already that which you seek.  Spiritual awakening is the realisation that you are already awake.  I could go on, but I won’t; thanks Peter!

Thirdly, after stating in Eyesight To The Blind, that my out-of-body experiences are very few and far between these days, what happens?  Yes, I not only have an astral adventure, but quite a humdinger too!  There was a hell of a lot going on; it was like three different stories playing out during the course of my journey.  I’m sure it all had some sort of meaning, but unless I experience something truly spectacular these days, I will not be going into detail anymore; simply because I no longer see the relevance.  I just found it quite ironic, that after making that statement in the book, quite a detailed out-of-body experience followed during the early morning of July 5.

Anyway, where was I, oh yes… what now?

 

Why Psychic And Clairvoyant Powers Can Be A Barrier To Spiritual Development – Part Two


???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Following on from my previous post, Part One, I’d just like to tie up a few loose ends. (if you missed it click on the link http://wp.me/p1qAeL-rbk). I stated that when we become attached to experiencing clairvoyant, mediumistic and psychic phenomena, it can hinder our spiritual growth; as opposed to enhancing it, which is a widely believed myth. So, what then, is the best way to progress and evolve spiritually? Firstly, allow me to digress slightly.

I mentioned in the previous post a number of examples as to why such phenomena do become a hindrance. But using the example of mediumship to demonstrate my point, I stated that for mediumship to occur there needs to be a messenger, a receiver of the message and the message itself. This is duality, and as such, is nothing more than an illusion. So, thinking along the same lines, something else occurred to me recently with regard to my astral adventures. (please click on this link for an account of my most recent and, what was one of my most spectacular ever, out-of-body experiences http://wp.me/p1qAeL-rb2).

Even though my adventures are nothing short of amazing, in the grander scheme of things, they too are illusory. There is the astral experience and the one having the experience (me), this is also duality and therefore an illusion. In infinite consciousness the experience and the experiencer are One; there is no separateness. So, even though I’m having these experiences on the astral planes, they are still occurring below the plane of Self-realisation and are therefore only happening within my astral mind. I also stated that the astral planes are a vast extension of the physical plane and subject to the same natural laws. This means that as well as creating my physical life with my thoughts, actions and spoken word, I am also creating my astral life; as are you. The only unusual thing is that for some reason I am being given a glimpse of this whilst still having “business” to attend to on the physical plane. It’s possible that I’m evolved enough to have these spectacular experiences, but not yet evolved enough to consciously choose the experience. Anyway, back to spiritual development.

We grow spiritually through our actions and experiences in daily life; that is a simple truth, and probably the most powerful way to kick-start your spiritual development is to practice forgiveness. The practice of forgiveness is a most wonderful springboard from which we can go on to greater things. Forgiveness is the letting go of the past. When we let go of the past we are able to evolve, and when we evolve we grow spiritually. Also, carrying out simple acts of kindness in a selfless manner is another extremely powerful method of spiritual development. These practices bring us far closer to our true nature than you would imagine, and the closer and closer we get to our true nature, the more the veil of ignorance is lifted. As truth reveals itself, illusion dissolves away. This is a continuous process, the culmination of which is the realisation that not only is there nothing in existence except infinite consciousness, but that “I Am” infinite consciousness.