Who Am I? Part Thirty Four


I stated right at the beginning of my story that I always felt that I never belonged anywhere, and that remains the case today. The only difference between now and then, is that these days I understand why. It’s just as well because I don’t think I’ve ever felt more different that I do now. Even within the spiritual environment I have never felt as though I fitted in; I have never been mainstream with regard to my work as a medium. As a result of this, over the last few years I have questioned even more the purpose of me carrying on with this type of work. Work that is so far removed from the reality of Self and which relies on the presence of the false-self in order to function. Work that will ultimately only serve to hold me back (due to its dualistic nature). Hence, in the last few years more and more of my regular churches and centres stopped booking me, and I too, became much more choosy with regard to which ones I served. The culmination of this is that this coming Sunday, 3 December 2017, I will be taking my last Divine Service. It will be at the spiritualist church in Stroud; which was one of the first centres I served way back in 2002. They say you should never say never, but there would have to be some really special reason for me to stand up as a medium again.

I mentioned in a previous post the feeling of not being a part of the chaos that goes on around us in the world; but rather, simply being a witness. Well that is something else that has become more and more prominent these last few years. Another thing I wanted to mention is that I have also pulled away from the Sai Baba groups as well. They undoubtedly do a lot of good work, but something that sticks in my mind is this. When Swami walked among us he would always emphasise that he was not the body, and that we should not worship his physical form. But even though Swami gave up his body in April 2011, I still find devotees bowing down to photos and worshipping them. Swami remains in my heart, but I have no attachment to photos.

I suppose this last post in the series (apart from the summary post) is really all about tying up a few loose ends, so there is a couple of things that I will touch on here to take us up to the end of Part Thirty Three.

A wise man once said that the universe only exists when there is an observer; and of course, this is true, as we ourselves create the world in which we live via our thoughts. All that exists is consciousness; which vibrates as energy at varying degrees of subtlety. What we see as the world is a combination of two things; a reflection of what is going on inside us, and our mind’s interpretation of the particular vibration we are gazing at. Which brings me onto my out-of-body experiences. I believe I mentioned earlier in my story that somebody once asked me, “why, what’s the point”? It made me think, and I came to the conclusion that they occurred in order that I could inform others that there most certainly is more than what we experience here in the physical world. That’s fine, but I now look at things from a different angle. Firstly, you can only have an out-of-body experience if you assume that the body actually exists. Secondly, as everything we can see in this world is mind construct, it must stand to reason that everything we can see in the astral worlds must also be mind construct; albeit at a different level of vibration. Therefore my view now of what I once believed were incredible astral adventures, is that they have the same meaning as standing up and demonstrating mediumship or slapping someone around the face with a wet Kipper; in other words, they only have the meaning I choose to give them and in ultimate reality they don’t exist. These days my out-of-body experiences are very few and far between, and those that I have are very rarely worth writing about.

I would also like to mention something that I first wrote about in 2010; this is something I learned from my two visits to India. Westerners, understandably, have a habit of reacting to the extreme poverty they witness (especially concerning children) when visiting countries such as India, by wanting to help. This is very commendable, and some Westerners actually try to do something during their visit that they believe will help those in need. However, we need to be really careful how and when we do this, because we can actually end up causing more harm than good. As visitors, we don’t always understand the culture of the community we find ourselves in. I noticed in Puttaparthi that people can get very jealous if they see others in similar situations to themselves, seemingly being given preferential treatment by visitors. When we visit these countries we are only there for a matter of weeks before we move on. Once we have gone, those that we helped may be the subject of retribution by those who are jealous. They can be ostracized, or even beaten. There are quite often official organisations who will accept donations towards their projects. In many cases you can even decide where your money goes. In India, for example, if you wanted to donate Rs1000, you could ask for Rs250 to go towards feeding the poor, Rs250 to go towards a women’s shelter, Rs250 to go towards helping children and Rs250 to go towards an animal shelter. Or any amount and any combination that you wish.

My dear friends, I will return soonest with Who Am I? The Epilogue. Take care!

 

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What’s Happening?


DB StudiosToday I was at DB Studios in Stroud, Glos remastering my CD Healing With The Angels. Because I have now started a job it will be my final project for this year. Up to now Healing With The Angels has only been available directly from me; the original was also recorded at DB Studios, but I have always burnt copies from the master, and done all the packaging myself. This project, however, is particularly exciting for me because I have added a musical backing track, which I played myself on synthesiser, and the finished product will be professionally packaged and available for purchase on Amazon. I expect the manufacturing and proofing process to take 6-8 weeks, so I am looking at a mid-August release.

The original recording, edit and mix back in 2009 and today’s remastering, including the laying down of the backing track, was all engineered by the amazingly skillful Chris Panton. Cheers Chris! You’re a star!

Check out DB Studios http://www.dbstudios.co.uk/

“I Will Protect You Like The Eyelids Protect The Eyes”


It’s quite common when Sai Baba groups meet up for events etc. that people bring their unwanted spiritual books and Baba-related items so that others may reap the benefits from them.  Normally, the books and photos etc. are placed on a table near the entrance to the hall and anyone can browse and help themselves.  A few years back I availed myself of a few of someone else’s unwanted books and on opening one of them I was amazed to find a photo copy of an A4 sheet of paper with the most incredible words of wisdom from Swami; the original had been hand-written very professionally in a lovely calligraphic style.  On reading the words it was apparent that they were tailor-made especially for me, but specifically, the second paragraph contained the most beautiful and striking statement; “I will protect you like the eyelids protect the eyes”.  I found this to be true on Monday 6 August 2012.

I had been agonizing over recording a CD of mantra chanting.  Nothing wrong with that, but considering that the finished product would be available for sale, it somehow didn’t feel right; a bit like a Christian taking stuff from the Bible and putting it out on Amazon for personal gain.  But I knew that my intentions were good, for reasons not relevant to this post, and I also asked a few friends who confirmed that I should go ahead with it.  So I made arrangements to use DB Studios in Stroud, Gloucestershire here in the UK.  I arranged a recording session with my friend Chris, who is a partner in the studios, for mid-day on Monday 6 August.

Stroud is about ten miles from where I live in Tetbury and I set of at about 11:30 a.m. in great anticipation.  I’d decided on the mantras I was going to record and during the course of the drive to the studios I went through them.  The main reason for this was so that my throat would be warmed up sufficiently for the recording.  I quite often chant whilst driving, but not to this extent.

In between Tetbury and Stroud is the small market town of Nailsworth and the road out of Nailsworth connects direct to Stroud; a distance of about 4 miles.  For the first couple of miles there are a number of industrial units and showrooms at various intervals on the right hand side.  One such showroom sells pine bedroom and garden furniture and is about two miles along the road.  I had just started my second rendition of the mantra Om Purnamadah Purnamidam Purnat Purnamudachyate when I just happened to notice a red car waiting to pull out from the pine showroom onto the main road.  It all happened so quickly but at the same time it seemed like slow motion.  It was as if the driver deliberately waited for me to pass that point before pulling out; but in truth I doubt that he or she even noticed me.

I didn’t even have time to hit the horn but managed to swerve the car to the left and avoid a collision.  Luckily there was room for me to do that.  Had the road been more narrow I may not have been able to.  Of course the whole event took me by surprise, and I won’t say what words were coming out of my mouth at this point, but they were not mantras.  However, I knew that once again The Avatar was at play and I very soon had a big smile on my face as I resumed chanting.  It just goes to show that when you are engaged in God’s work, Divine Spirit will do whatever is necessary to ensure that the work gets done.  This was also further proof for me that my intention to record a mantra CD had received the highest approval.

The recording session went well too and I hope to have the finished product available sometime in October.

For your interest, there is a you tube link below to the mantra Om Purnamadah Purnamidam Purnat Purnamudachyate. It’s truly beautiful and I hope you enjoy it.