God Goes Home

Posted on September 3, 2026 by Author Richard F Holmes

Here is a bit of nostalgia… I realised that I’ve been writing this blog since 2011; where has the time gone? I’m not the best when it comes to IT and social media etc. but I’ve stumbled along to the best of my ability and I find myself where I am today, over 15 years later. I thought it would be a good idea to look back through the archives and retrieve my very first post, and what a poignant post it was. I’ve decided to give it a fresh airing. So my dear friends, for your interest (maybe) here is, once again, my first ever blog post from Sunday 24th April 2011, untampered with, word for word in all its glory.

Laideeeeez an’ gennelmen… I give to you…

God Goes Home:

Easter Sunday 24 April 2011 started off as a normal day. I was in no hurry to get out of bed, eventually doing so at around 09:20. Whilst having my first cup of tea of the day I went about my morning routine of going online and posting my thought for the day on Facebook and checking other online stuff. I went into one of my email addresses and there was one solitary email, from my friend V in South Africa. It was very short and to the point; it said quite simply “Swami has left”. I was quite numb at first. My beloved Swami, Sri Sathya Sai Baba had left his physical body. There had been signs for some time that Baba was getting ready to go, and in recent weeks it became increasingly apparent that devotees were going to have to accept that this was the case. It was still hard to believe though; you don’t expect Swami to go, simply because he has always been there. For a number of hours I cried intermittently; not out of grief, for I know there is no such thing as death, but for the sheer love of Baba and the realisation that he gave so much to us, yet took nothing for himself. His love was, and still is, boundless and I am truly blessed to have been touched by Baba’s love on many, many occasions.

I count my blessings that I received the call to go to Baba’s ashram, Prasanthi Nilayam (abode of the highest peace), on two occasions in the 18 months preceding his physical departure. It was during my second visit in February 2010 that I got my first hint that “Divine Mother Sai” may be preparing to leave. I was chatting to an American guy who had an apartment in Puttaparthi, where the ashram is situated. He was saying how Swami’s physical health had been going rapidly downhill and that he had made an unprecedented gesture. Baba had made an announcement formally inviting devotees from all over the world to attend the ashram during 2010, on a pilgrimage basis. My friend told me that this had never been done before in all the years that Baba had been resident at Prasanthi (since the 1940’s). My friend went on to say that he felt Baba was getting ready to leave his body and this was his parting gesture of love to devotees worldwide. Because of the sheer volume of people the pilgrimage was organised with the utmost precision and only so many countries at a time could attend, for periods of ten days only. Of course, this only applied to the organised pilgrimages; anyone can go to Prasanthi as long as they receive the inner calling

“not even 20,000 horses can bring you here if you are not called” ~ Baba

The Cycle Of Changing Perceptions

Posted on April 23, 2024 by Author Richard F Holmes

This post is the result of some musings of mine that relate to my own journey, but I’m sharing them because I feel that other people will have had a similar experience and may have drawn the same conclusion. Looking back, I would describe my evolution in this life as follows: It seems as though I have gone through two stages and am now going through a third. The first stage is that I’m born into this world and immediately start to be conditioned by my surroundings. My conditioning ensures that as I grow, I lose sight of my true nature and become fully entrenched in “life” and remain completely oblivious to the bigger picture. I’m completely unaware of the grip that the ego has on me and my only understanding of reality is what I see around me and what I’m told by my parents, teachers, peers and the media.

I think that is fairly general and probably applies to pretty much all souls taking human birth. Although, I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule. The conclusion from the first stage is that “I am this body and my reality is the world around me and its inhabitants.”

The second stage starts thus: I feel uncomfortable; there is something missing but I don’t know what it is. I start to seek, but I don’t really know what I’m seeking or how to seek it. Personally, I never felt that I belonged anywhere and this period, which started during my teenage years and carried on until I reached my 50s, was a very difficult time for me. The first place I looked was towards religion. However, the Christian church didn’t do it for me and I just drifted aimlessly for many years, getting more and more confused and feeling more and more isolated. Eventually, I realised that spirituality was far more expansive than my conditioning had led me to believe. I became aware of other forms of spirituality that were more appealing. By the time the 1980s came along my experiences and contacts at that time led me towards Spiritualism. It was also a religion that didn’t do it for me and I walked away for several years.

For various reasons, I ventured back and remained involved for many years. During this time I never considered myself to be a Spiritualist, but through other contacts that I made became drawn towards Eastern religions; particularly Buddhism and Hinduism. In the early 2000s I also acquired a guru in the form of Sri Sathya Sai Baba. What I conclude from this stage is that although Spiritualism pointed out the truth of eternal life to me, it seemed firmly entrenched in the past. In addition and in hindsight, I realised that it encouraged me to become attached to “objects” such as spirit guides, wolves, angels and crystals etc. These things have their place along the way, but ultimately, all objectivity, being dualistic in nature, is an illusion. It was Buddhist principles in particular that brought me to the awareness of “Oneness.”

Other milestones from stage two are that I became aware also of my greatest influences, namely – Paramahansa Yogananda, Neil Donald Walsch, Ramana Maharshi and of course Sai Baba. I read quite a lot of their writings without properly understanding what I was reading.

As I embarked on stage three I was dealing with the realisation that Buddhism and Hinduism, although still very appealing, also did not complete the picture for me. It made me further realise that all religions have their limitations and are mere stepping stones along the way.

I had the knowledge of Oneness but not the knowing. There is a huge difference. We have a habit of gathering lots of knowledge, which generally speaking is the experience of others and not ourselves. Knowing is to know something through the experience of it. An example that is used very often is the fragrance of a rose. How can you know what the fragrance of a rose is like through someone else telling you? You can only truly know by smelling the beauty of its fragrance yourself. A huge help to me has been the “discovery” of Rupert Spira. His videos and writings have helped me greatly to understand in greater depth the works of Neil Donald Walsch and Ramana Maharshi. Also, it’s worth mentioning that the greatest thing that Sai Baba taught me was that at no time would I have a need to worship, or become attached to, his physical form; the physical form being akin to the objectivity mentioned above in stage two.

I can conclude this post by describing my soul’s journey as follows: From the complete knowing of Infinite Consciousness to complete ignorance on embarking on a physical experience. Then awakening to the understanding that I am not a body/mind but making the mistake of thinking that all the answers are in the esoteric and pretty much at one point believing that the world had no significance whatsoever. To the further understanding that the only reality is Consciousness, therefore the world and the esoteric are in fact One, both being projections of Consciousness, by Consciousness within Consciousness.

Will there be a stage four? I don’t know, but what I do know is that one day I will complete the cycle of changing perceptions by returning to the complete knowing of Infinite Consciousness.

Do Not Chase The Tail

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Author Richard F Holmes

Photo by Kat Smith: https://www.pexels.com/photo/shallow-focus-photography-of-adult-black-and-white-border-collie-551628/

I saw what I thought was an incredibly funny cartoon on social media recently, although I believe they are called memes these days. It was a take on the classic old spiritual thing of a seeker going up a mountain looking for a guru and/or enlightenment. The only thing was that this cartoon features dogs and not humans. I wish that I’d kept a copy because I cannot remember the caption word for word, but I think you will still get the gist of what I’m trying to say. Our intrepid canine friend reaches the mountain peak and there finds the wise guru dog sitting on a throne. The caption went something like this:

“Chase not the tail, for the tail is already yours”

Apart from finding it rather amusing I also found it very profound and it reminded me of something I’ve written about several times in the past. However, I’m not going to repeat myself here, I’m going to leave that to the masters:

“You are already that which you seek” – Ramana Maharsh

“Before enlightenment chopping wood, carrying water

After enlightenment chopping wood, carrying water” – Old Chinese proverb

“When the road ends and the Goal is gained the pilgrim finds that he has travelled only from himself to himself, that the way was long and lonesome, but, that the God whom he reached was all the while in him, around him, with him, and beside him! He himself was always Divine. His yearning to merge in God was but the sea calling out to the ocean.” – Sri Sathya Sai Baba

When The Avatar Comes Calling – Revisited

Posted on February 6, 2023 by Author Richard F Holmes

Due to the rather incredible out of body experience I had recently, it prompted me to recall some of my more spectacular astral adventures from days gone by. As a result, I decided to revisit this truly amazing experience I had with the Avatar, Sri Sathya Sai Baba way back on the 17th of July 2012. As was the norm back then, the experience started off as a dream, but I ended up wide awake, in astral form and eyeball to eyeball with Baba. In the main, I have kept the post exactly as it was but, because my writing style has changed since the original I have made some very slight amendments. I hope you enjoy it.

I had an amazing experience this morning that ended at approximately 06.40. It was so amazing, in fact, that as I sit here typing a little over four hours later, I am still trying to get my head around the whole business. I have had Sai dreams before, but I can honestly say that this experience was on a par with the time Sri Sathya Sai Baba plucked me from my physical body and carried me away on an astral journey back in December 2006.

Strangely enough some details of the dream are very vague, especially the early stages. But the main content remains very vivid in my mind. Because of the vagaries of the early part of the dream I will start this account by relating what my heart is telling me occurred. I was in a room that seemed quite small and I cannot remember the decor, but I must have been craving for Swami’s presence. I vaguely remember calling out for him and then being raised up fairly high off the floor and finding myself facing a picture of him that was on one of the walls. I became very excited about seeing Baba and even though the picture looked a bit un-Baba-like it was most definitely the God-man; with his orange robe and shock of black fuzzy hair. His face was kind of different but his eyes were so real. I do remember talking to him in a very enthusiastic way, when I look back now it was as though somewhere within me, at a very deep level, I knew he was coming. but within seconds my experience was over.

Now this is the bit that I remember very clearly. I was not happy with my experience being so short, but not in a negative way, and I started calling once again for Baba. I must have been calling with such enthusiasm because all of a sudden Swami was there. He was laying on a bed asleep and I appeared to be looking down at him. I enthused “wake up Swami, wake up!” He opened his eyes and within a split second we were standing face to face. We were so close you could have barely got a cigarette paper in between us. I did something next that under normal circumstances you would never do to an Avatar; I grabbed his right arm with my left hand as we faced each other (it was as solid as solid can be). It was done in a nice way of course; I was so full of excitement. I said “I’ve been missing you” and “speak to me Swami, speak to me”, but Baba just looked at me deadpan. There was a great feeling of friendship between us that I could feel inside me, and I said to him “what’s up, cat got your tongue?” I seem to remember saying “cat got your tongue” to him again and this time he gave that little Swami half-smile; like a cross between a smirk and an impish grin.

Then he started speaking to me but I could only hear jumbled sounds coming out of his mouth that seemed distant and I was straining to try to understand him. It was almost like the white noise you hear when you are trying to tune a radio in to your desired station, but right in the middle of the “noise” I made out the words “try not to worry so much.” The look on his face was the look of a loving father, mother, sister, brother and friend all rolled into one. He was as solid as solid can be and his form reminded me of how he looked back in the 1990’s. There was signs that he was beginning to age but he had this fantastic youthfulness about him. What was really apparent was that the whole experience was just so natural; a bit like making a cup of tea, it was almost as though it was expected that two friends would meet up and share a few moments of pure undiluted love. He was so non-judgemental; accepting me exactly as I am in spite of all my little faults; and the love between us was beyond any words that you would find in a dictionary. Then it was all over…

I suppose I should now say “and then I woke up”, but it wasn’t quite like that. It’s true to say that when the whole experience began it was most definitely a dream and I was certainly asleep. But as Swami was interacting with me I was wide awake, I simply had my eyes closed; so the whole episode was played out on the inner plane. When Baba had gone I just lay there in bed with my eyes closed; only opening them to look at the clock. When I did look at the clock it said 06.45, so I am guessing that I was laying there for at least five minutes before looking. What I found unusual was that I said to Swami “I have been missing you.” That is not an expression I would normally use; I would normally say something like “I miss you”, “I missed you” or “you have been missed”. I believe there are a number of deeper, hidden messages in here for me to unravel, and I may share them in a future post if it seems appropriate.

Finally, there was one particular detail about Baba’s physical form that I will not share because I believe it to be very personal between Swami and I. But the reason for mentioning it is that Swami always works in ways that are very precise and literally everything with him has a meaning. I believe he gave that tiny bit of detail as a gentle reminder for me not to get attached to the form. I believe he came to me in that way because that is how I relate to him. But at the same time he did not want to divert my attention too far away from the “formless”, so he gave me a little reminder that the physical body will deteriorate over time.

Oh what an experience! How truly blessed I am! Thank you so much Baba!

Jai Sai Ram.

Distant Healing

Posted on June 26, 2022 by Author Richard F Holmes

Photo by Arina Krasnikova: Pexels

I’ve not mentioned this before, but I have had an illness since the Summer of last year, which peaked at the tail-end of December and throughout January. I am much better than I was, although I still have an ongoing niggle that restricts the way I go about my daily life. As well as the conventional treatment, I have also had a lot of distant healing sent to me from various sources. Those of you who either know me personally or who are familiar with my writing, will be aware of my experiences with the psychic surgeon, Stephen Turoff, back in the early 2000s. Well, back in May of this year I was getting so frustrated with my condition that I decided to explore the possibilities of receiving healing from Stephen once again. I elected to choose his distant healing service as his practice is quite a distance from where I live, and I thought that it would save me a journey. Below, is my account, observations and thoughts of the experience, which comprised of 32 consecutive days treatment. I hope you find it interesting.

Day One – 20/05/22
I didn’t receive the email advising that the healing process was to start today. However, it all got sorted in the end and I did as advised and found my quiet space after 7.00 pm. Nothing out of the ordinary during the first session. I felt the usual presence of spirit around me and also saw Stephen in my third eye. I felt very good afterwards. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri and Sai Gayatri.

Day Two – 21/05/22
Much stronger this evening. It worked out as with the previous day, that I went to lay in the peace at around 7:30 pm. I saw Stephen again and was enveloped in very strong energy. A couple of times I felt as though I was just going to drift away into nothingness. It made me wonder if I was a nano-millimeter away from experiencing Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri, Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka

Day Three – 22/05/22
Slightly later this evening. As soon as I began to relax I started to silently chant the “Yes God” mantra. Immediately, there was a sensation of heat in my stomach, which went on for quite a while. Two things learned from this evening’s session. 1) My ego is doing its utmost to disrupt the healing. Because I have started this journal, my mind kept trying to make me wander off by thinking about what I was going to write, instead of concentrating on the healing. 2) You can never try to guess how the session is going to go and what it will consist of. The energy didn’t seem so strong this evening, and when the heat had gone from my stomach I felt that the session was winding down. But just when I was contemplating coming out of it, the energy suddenly intensified and my body seemed to be locked in position. So, it’s as though I had two mini sessions in one this evening.
I only had a fleeting glimpse of Stephen this time, so I don’t know if it was just my mind putting it there. Mantras used: So-Hum, Yes-God, Thank You – God, Gayatri, Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka.

Day Four – 23/05/22
Completely different again this evening. Went to lay down at a similar time. The energy took a little while to build up, but as it did so, I started to feel a very subtle warmth in my stomach; as opposed to the heat of day three’s session. I was thinking that today’s session was quite unspectacular, but it then occurred to me that I’d been quite spoilt and was now expecting too much. The energy may not have seemed as strong as the previous day, but it was still strong nonetheless, and appeared to ramp up just before the end. Used the same mantras as the two previous days.

My Observations So Far
I first became aware of Stephen when I went to buy a specific book, but the book “Psychic Surgeon” jumped out me. So, I left the shop with 2 books instead of one. It took me a while to get around to reading it, but once I did, it blew me away. During the period from 2002 to 2004, I made 3 or 4 visits to the Miami Hotel; having 2 operations myself and also taking a friend and my mother to have ops. Incidentally, in 2004 Stephen took away my friend’s throat cancer and she is still going strong today.
At that time it was £20 for a face to face visit and £10 for distant healing, so I balked a bit when I saw that the cost was now £50. Once I was over the initial shock and weighed everything up, the price became immaterial. Already, I have had an incredible experience and I am not even 1/6th of the way through my treatment. When you work it out, the cost equates to around £1.56 per day, give or take a couple of pence. So, to have this for 32 consecutive days represents an absolute bargain in anyone’s language. Yes, it’s true that the treatment may not take away the problem that I want removing, but there is no way that anyone could go through this experience without having a positive outcome, whatever that outcome might be.

Day Five – 24/05/22
The longest session so far. I went to lay down a little earlier this evening; just after 7:00 pm. Used the same mantras as before. The energy was very strong, but didn’t seem to be concentrated on any particular area. I was simply enveloped within an incredibly strong energy. When the energy subsided, I looked at the clock and saw that it had been going for about 30 minutes. However, I was so knocked out by the experience that I continued to lay down. Then the healing seemed to start up again but as a completely different experience. It was as though I was being gently brought back after having had a “good zapping.” This continued for a while and when I eventually got up, the process had been going on for around 45 minutes.

Day Six – 25/05/22
I had to go out this evening, so I wasn’t able to lay down peacefully until after 10:00 pm. I was enveloped in energy quite quickly, and it was particularly strong around my head. I felt really tired and decided that I would just trust the healing process and settle down in bed for the night. I ended up only laying quietly for around 15 minutes, but I’m sure that this is immaterial to the process. Used the same mantras.

Day Seven – 26/05/22
Went to lay down just after 7:00 pm. I felt warmth again in my stomach as soon as the energy enveloped me. A bit of a strange one this evening. I kept losing concentration as I was silently chanting the mantras (same ones again) as though I was drifting into a slumber. I looked at the clock and saw that I’d been laying down for roughly 30 minutes. I lay back down again and must have gone into a bit of a doze. I got up at around 8:10 pm.

Day Eight – 27/05/22
I felt the heat again in my stomach. Not as subtle as the last couple of times, but also not as hot as the first time. Very strong energy around me once again and my mind constantly trying to disrupt my concentration. I have not mentioned before that I always feel slightly transfigured during these sessions. I didn’t think it was that important because this is something I feel regularly; hence I didn’t mention it. But, this evening it was much stronger. I felt like I wanted to doze again, which again interfered with my silent mantra chanting (same mantras). All good!

Day Nine – 28/05/22
Another very different session. I didn’t lay down until nearly 11:00 pm as I was attending an event in Bristol. This is the only session up to now that has not taken place in my own home. As I started to relax, the energy built up quite slowly and enveloped me again, becoming very strong. There was again a sensation of warmth in my stomach and I felt completely transfigured from my head down to my legs. Same mantras.

Day Ten – 29/05/22
I had to go out this evening so I didn’t lay down until just after 9:30 pm. The energy built up slowly and was very strong once again. I felt heat in my stomach area for a while during this session and also felt transfigured again. I have another feeling that is very difficult to put into words (the same for all of this journal really, as words cannot aptly describe what I am experiencing), but I will endeavour to try further down the line as things progress, if the feeling continues. I used the same mantras and am now exactly 1/3rd of the way through my treatment.

My Observations So Far
There has undoubtedly been an improvement physically, although maybe not to the extent that I would have liked. However, I have another 20 sessions to go. I do feel though, that there has been some sort of subtle transformation at a deeper level of my being, and I am quite excited to see what the eventual outcome will be.

Day Eleven – 30/05/22
Once again there was quite a slow build up of energy, but it became very strong and completely enveloped me. I felt some gentle activity going on in my stomach and I also felt transfigured again. Same mantras.

Day Twelve – 31/05/22
Things really went up a notch this evening; I just hope that I can find the words to accurately describe what I experienced. Firstly, the heat in my stomach was quite intense again. While I was experiencing this, I again felt gentle activity, as though someone was fiddling around in my stomach. When this experience tapered off the energy enveloping me became more intense and very strong. Then something incredible happened. There was a tangible shift, as though the energy had been raised up to another level. At the same time it became more subtle, but it was very noticeably at a higher level of vibration. It’s very difficult to explain, but it seemed to become bigger, and as a result I felt as though I was higher up than I was. What was also significant here, was that my ego was working overtime to try to distract me from the wonderful experience I was having. It didn’t stop throughout the session. Then another amazing thing happened. I was aware of an arm and hand moving in a clockwise direction, exactly in the way Sri Sathya Sai Baba used to do when he was manifesting vibhuti. After a while it changed to anti-clockwise. The crazy thing is that not only was the hand moving quite slowly, but I couldn’t see either the hand or the arm. It reminded me of when Baba used to come to me in dreams, I very often couldn’t see him, but it was unmistakably him. Had it not been for a really annoying itch on my right eyelid, I would not have been aware at all of my physical body. In the end, I couldn’t stand it any longer and had to scratch the itch. I settled back down thinking that was probably it, but the energy enveloped me again. This time it was much softer, as if it was saying to me, “I’m going to ease you down nice and slowly.” The whole experience lasted about 45 minutes. I again felt transfigured and I used the same mantras.

Day Thirteen – 01/06/22
Another incredible session. Things started very slowly and there was no concentration of heat in my stomach nor the sensation of someone fiddling around in there. The energy was quite subtle, but nonetheless very strong, and as it built up I became completely transfigured once again and unable to move (not that I wanted to move). I just lay there, chanting the same mantras silently in my head and enjoying what went from an incredible experience to something that no words on earth can describe properly. This was the most complete transfiguration yet, as though someone was nestled nicely inside my physical form. I’m not sure of the exact order of the next two things, so I will just relate them. At some point, my third eye expanded with a very pale green light. Because I have been experiencing things going on in my third eye for over 20 years, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning anything I had seen, such as lights etc., during these sessions. However, the energy involved with this experience was very different to what I’ve been used to in the past. This would tie in with last night’s events when I felt a tangible shift in vibration. At some stage, whoever had transfigured me started to move my lower arms. Not a great deal, it was as though the soul was trying me out for size, like going to the shop and trying on a suit. Then after a while, my lips (especially my top lip) seemed to get thinner and started to move. Whoever it was, was not my regular companion. The truly amazing thing is that I may well have instigated these sessions because I require physical healing, but I seem to be more concerned with the spiritual transformation that is taking place. I obviously do want my physical problem to clear up so that I can live a normal life again. But, everything else that is going on is just so incredibly exciting. A mildly amusing thing is that I have even started to speculate as to what the outcome will be, but I know full well from past experience, that where the Divine is concerned, whatever you think it is… it isn’t…

Day Fourteen – 02/06/22
A very slow start again, but the energy (although quite subtle) became stronger and as usual, I couldn’t move. I felt transfigured again, although not as powerful as yesterday. My lips only very momentarily seemed to go thin and my lower left arm moved and my left hand opened and closed, and opened again. I used the same mantras, although I have been chanting the Sai Gayatri more consistently than the others. The reason for this is that when I think of God I don’t think of an entity, I think of the formless totality. But, when I think of God with a form, I think of Sai Baba; hence I chant the Sai Gayatri more than the other mantras.

Day Fifteen – 03/06/22
I only chanted the Sai Gayatri this evening and the session lasted for nearly an hour. Another interesting event indeed. Things started slowly again, and I decided that I would let the session run for a while before I did any mantra chanting (this is a first; I normally start chanting pretty much straight away). I immediately felt heat around my solar plexus and during the course of the session it gradually made its way down my stomach until it disappeared. Once again, I couldn’t move but the energy was very gentle. I was transfigured again, and early in the session my right arm placed itself across my chest. After a while it returned to my side and at various stages during the process there was further movements of both arms. It was generally uneventful (I know, I’m really spoiled and expecting bells and whistles every evening). I guessed that I had been laying down for more than half and hour, and was kind of expecting things to wind down. Like I said, things seemed pretty uneventful, I was enveloped in gentle energy, unable to move, and with periodic movements of the arm and only one instance of my lips seeming to go thinner; then it happened… It was incredibly gentle, but I felt as though I was inflating. What was happening was that my friend, whoever that may be, was making his/herself comfortable within my physical body. As before, my friend seemed to be trying me for size and very gently shook my head rapidly from side to side. I felt completely transfigured, but just to make sure it wasn’t me putting the movement in myself, I sent out a thought, “just so I know I didn’t imagine it, can you do that again.” Sure enough, my head shook rapidly but very gently from side to side. I’m going to miss all this when it’s over…
I almost forgot to mention, that at about the half-way stage, I saw a woman’s face in my third eye. She had dark hair and was smiling at me. She looked really familiar but I just can’t place who she is.

Day Sixteen – 04/06/22
I reverted back to chanting all the previous mantras, but I chanted the Sai Gayatri much more extensively than the others. I quickly felt heat in my lower stomach, which made its way up to my solar plexus. The heat was maintained the entire length of my stomach, as opposed to being limited to isolated areas as it moved upwards. The energy built up slowly again as I became transfigured and the heat in my stomach subsided; once again, I was unable to move. My “friend” seemed mainly concerned with my face this session and it was as though he/she was having a practice to open and close my mouth. There was also minimal arm movements.

Day Seventeen – 05/06/22
I immediately felt warmth in my stomach. Once again it was a slow build up of energy and I couldn’t move. At one point I had to almost force movement of my arm to take care of an annoying itch on my eyelid. Same mantras again. No arm movements this session, but again there was movement in my head and mouth.

More Observations
I am now past the half-way point. There has been slight physical improvement. I didn’t expect things to have been like this, although, I suppose I didn’t really know what to expect. With regard to the spiritual aspect of what has been going on, I can only describe it as being like some sort of graph showing the performance of stocks and shares. The sessions started off quite low key, then there was a spike, then things tapered off a bit, then there was another spike. I’m now going through another lower key period. I can only assume that wherever the sessions are meant to lead me, it has to be done in stages so as not to cause me to have any adverse effects.
For over 22 years I have experienced some incredible things. I estimate over 200 out of body experiences. I have experienced other realities whilst being on my astral journeys and interacted with other souls who are not on earth in the physical body. I have had so many amazing experiences that I now have trouble remembering them. Now, these sessions are adding to the list. As much as I love them, I do feel that I’m getting a bit attached to them, my ego is also constantly trying to interfere with my concentration. I’m well aware that as long as “I” am having these experiences and “I” am enjoying them, there will be no Samadhi for me anytime soon. However, I shall cherish and enjoy the remaining sessions and embrace with gratitude whatever outcome materialises.

Day Eighteen – 06/06/22
Today I cut out the Sai Gayatri and the Samasta Loka mantras, just chanting the other four. I felt a gentle warmth in my stomach and I was again transfigured to the extent that I couldn’t move. The energy was very powerful but gentle. I felt some movement within my face and lips but there was no opening and closing of the mouth or movement of the arms.

Day Nineteen – 07/06/22
I went back to using all of the mantras today. Gentle warmth in my stomach followed by the usual envelopment in energy and being unable to move. There was a degree of transfiguration this evening, which seemed to increase towards the end. When the transfiguration intensified I felt a tightness across my chest for the first time. It was gentle, not the kind of tightness across the chest you would associate with being ill.

Day Twenty – 08/06/22
Once again there was quite a slow build up before I was enveloped in very strong but gentle energy. My left arm placed itself, of its own accord, across my torso with my left palm flat over my solar plexus. I felt expansion within my third eye and there was an interchanging of light green and lilac pastel colours. I used all the usual mantras.

More Observations
Wow! Session number twenty has been and gone. How does all this imaginary time fly past so quickly? There has been a definite physical improvement, although I am not out of the woods yet. For the first time since just before Christmas, I have been sitting normally for longer periods today with either minor soreness and irritation or none at all. This is a huge step forward.

Day Twenty One – 09/06/22
I felt that the mantra chanting was becoming a bit mechanical, so I decided to not use any mantras this session. Instead, I regularly expressed gratitude. I immediately felt heat within my stomach area and the usual enveloping in powerful but gentle energy. There was once again transfiguration with some movement of the arms.

Day Twenty Two – 10/06/22
For the first time, I fell asleep during this session. I felt warmth in my stomach as the energy enfolded me and things seemed to intensify when I started to silently chant the Gayatri. I also chanted the Sai Gayatri and Samasta Loka, but no other mantras. My right arm moved across my chest and rested with my palm down; there was also a bit of movement with my left arm. The rest is a blur, as I fell asleep.

Day Twenty Three – 11/06/22
I tried an experiment this evening. A few weeks back, I acquired the most beautiful CD of Tibetan temple bell music and I decided to play it at a low volume through headphones during the session. I didn’t use any mantras, but frequently sent out thoughts of gratitude. The results were interesting, but of course, there is no way of telling whether my experience would have been any different had I not used the CD. Almost immediately after laying down, my right arm moved across to my chest with my hand palm down. After a while, my left hand moved to my stomach and rested there palm down. I was transfigured by two different souls. Firstly, my new friend that I’ve only known since these healing sessions began drew close, then to my surprise, my regular companion of many years nipped in and transfigured me. My new friend then came in again and stayed for the duration. Throughout the session, which lasted the best part of an hour, the energy peaked and troughed. It was very powerful indeed, although very pleasant and gentle. It would intensify to levels of the highest that I’ve experienced since my healing started back on May 20, then it would drop off before rising again. At some point both of my arms moved back to my side, although my right palm did again move to my chest area. There was a lot of movement with my mouth too, as though once again, my friend was trying out my body for size; like trying on a suit.

Day Twenty Four – 12/06/22
I went back to silently chanting all of the usual mantras this session. I was enveloped in the energy, but nothing else of note occurred this evening. I seemed to have a doze and was laying down for the best part of an hour.

Day Twenty Five – 13/06/22
Silent chanting of all mantras. Enveloped in very powerful but gentle energy. Minimal transfiguration. After just over half and hour I turned onto my side. I stayed like that for a short while, but felt warmth in my stomach so turned back onto my back. My right arm then moved across my chest and my palm rested just below my left shoulder. I felt a lot of warmth coming from my palm.

Day Twenty Six – 14/06/22
A strange one today. I had been unwell for most of the day, with what I guessed to be very mild food poisoning. I spent the afternoon in bed and suddenly started to feel better. My high temperature started to drop and was almost back to normal as I went to lay down for the healing session. The energy was once again very powerful and I was transfigured. There was some movement of the arms and at one point both my palms moved to be face down on my chest, just below my shoulder. It felt very warm, but not quite warm enough to describe it as hot. All mantras silently chanted.

Day Twenty Seven – 15/06/22
My unwellness returned before I went to bed last night so I had to call in sick today. Very strong energy again and felt warmth in my stomach early into the session. Same mantras.

Day Twenty Eight – 16/06/22
I decided to give the temple bell CD another go this evening, so the session comprised the full hour running time. No mantras, minimal transfiguration and usual strong energy.

Day Twenty Nine – 17/06/22
Enveloped in strong energy again. Minimal transfiguration. Used all mantras.

Day Thirty – 18/06/22
Ditto above.

Day Thirty One – 19/06/22
I felt a gentle pressure in between my chest and solar plexus. There was a feeling of very subtle movement as though someone was fiddling around inside me. Very strong energy similar to what I experienced when things really ramped up during session 12 on 31/05. My right arm also moved outwards and for a short while it was as though someone was holding my hand. I seemed to be transfigured by two different souls (same ones as before). Just when I thought the session had come to an end and I was contemplating getting up, I felt a gentle warmth in my stomach so continued to lay for a while. No mantras this evening.

Day Thirty Two – 20/06/22
Final session. Strange feeling really. On one hand, it feels right that it ends now, and on the other hand, I’ll miss the routine. I just don’t know how 32 days have gone by so quickly. As far as the session itself goes, it was a bit of everything this evening.

Final Thoughts
The main problem that I wanted healing is still there. That’s OK; I knew there was no guarantee. There has however, been a shift of sorts. It’s very difficult to put into words, but it’s as though a transformation has taken place. I am also aware that this kind of healing doesn’t just cut off, the process continues until it fades out; a bit like the end of a song. I’ll just add some final observations, because there are a few things that have always been common place that I didn’t feel needed to be added to my accounts of the individual sessions and also a couple of other things worth mentioning.
Firstly, every session seemed to start with activity within my third eye; like pressure. This is something I have experienced every day for many, many years, so it did not seem worth mentioning. Also, I did a hell of a lot of snoring whilst still being awake during the sessions. The energy seemed to take me towards sleep, but apart from one occasion, just left me on the brink; hence the snoring. Another thing was that, during every session, my ego was going completely mental in an effort to fill my head with nonsensical stories. I had to keep reining it in.
A final couple of observations. Because I didn’t see Stephen again after the third session, I’m wondering if it was just my mind that created the image in the first place. These were my first dealings with Stephen for many years and I was quite excited about it. Of course, either way, whether I really did see him or not makes no difference to the energy and the outcome. Finally, over many years I have been blessed with an incalculable amount of incredible experiences; some of them took place during my visits to the Miami hotel. I can add to my “list” my experiences during sessions 12, 13 and 15. However, sometimes I feel as though my blessings work against me in a funny kind of paradoxical way. When I experience incredible phenomena, my ego just wants more and more of the same. Of course, this cannot be; this is not why I am here. I know that all phenomena are ultimately temporal and not the reality, but it doesn’t stop me from becoming attached and wanting more and more of the same.

All in all, a fantastic experience and worth every penny.

A Blast From The Past

Posted on February 7, 2022 by Author Richard F Holmes

Well, here I am, with my first post since November 20 last year. I must admit that I’ve struggled for inspiration and even considered abandoning this little project. But, once a writer, always a writer and surely, the world of wordery is a bottomless pit. I feel that I have come to the end of an era and eagerly await where the next fork in the path may take me. As I sat musing, well aware that I had not written anything for months, it occurred to me that this blog will be 11 years old this coming April. It also occurred to me how my writing has evolved with me as I have gone through several phases of change. So, purely out of nostalgia, and I suppose in celebration of getting the blog up and running and keeping it going for all these years, I thought I would repost my first ever blog article from 25/04/2011. It’s a piece entitled “God Goes Home” and I hope you like it.

PS I’ve also got an idea for another article, which I will post soon.

God Goes Home

I count my blessings that I received the call to go to Baba’s ashram, Prashanthi Nilayam (abode of the highest peace), on two occasions in the 18 months preceding his physical departure. It was during my second visit in February 2010 that I got my first hint that “Divine Mother Sai” may be preparing to leave. I was chatting to an American guy who had an apartment in Puttaparthi, where the ashram is situated. He was saying how Swami’s physical health had been going rapidly downhill and that he had made an unprecedented gesture. Baba had made an announcement formally inviting devotees from all over the world to attend the ashram during 2010, on a pilgrimage basis. My friend told me that this had never been done before in all the years that Baba had been resident at Prashanthi (since the 1940’s). My friend went on to say that he felt Baba was getting ready to leave his body and this was his parting gesture of love to devotees worldwide. Because of the sheer volume of people the pilgrimage was organised with the utmost precision and only so many countries at a time could attend, for periods of ten days only. Of course, this only applied to the organised pilgrimages; anyone can go to Prashanthi as long as they receive the inner calling “not even 20,000 horses can bring you here if you are not called” Baba

At the time I remember thinking that this was not to be taken seriously, and I politely humoured my American friend. Little did I know how right he was. Now as I sit here and muse about this strange day it hasn’t quite sunk in that Sri Sathya Sai Baba has left his physical body. Probably because I’ve had so many inner experiences with Baba… and a physical body has never been essential to our relationship in the past… so why should it be now? He always touched me with his love across time and space; so often my eyes welled up with tears of joy as he enveloped me in his loving light. On one occasion he even blessed me with an astral experience by lifting me from my physical body and carrying me off into the ether.

I suppose that, at some stage, even God has to go home…but I don’t expect it to change my relationship with him.

Jai Sai Ram

Debate

Posted on June 27, 2021 by Author Richard F Holmes

As I’ve gone through this life and gradually evolved, two things have occurred to me. Firstly, the actual mystery of life becomes less and less of a mystery. Secondly, and paradoxically, as the mystery of life reveals itself as the “simplicity” of life, I realise more and more how little I actually know; which brings me onto the title of this little post.

Debate! The above statement has brought home to me, like never before, the sheer fruitlessness of getting into debates about spirituality and religion. People have to grow and evolve at their own pace, and this quite often involves holding certain beliefs that may not ultimately be true, but are serving their purpose by way of a stepping-stone. I am also of the opinion, that if you get into a debate with another person about any subject whatsoever, the “winner” will not necessarily be the one who is closest to the truth, it will be the one who has the greater debating skills.

Swami, Sri Sathya Sai Baba always used to say, “never get into debates about spirituality and religion because they are sure to descend into arguments.”

I am now of the view that it is far better to remain as “the witness” and let others debate to their hearts’ content.

A Visitation

Posted on February 27, 2021 by Author Richard F Holmes

I had an experience recently that was a classic case of rolling back the years. I find it interesting that the experience has a different meaning for me today than if I’d had it 10 years ago. For the first time in ages Swami Sri Sathya Sai Baba appeared to me in a dream. As expected, it was like being in the presence of a doting mother and best friend. Swami let me touch his face, and we had this moment where we were just in each others’ presence before the egoic mind brought me back to the land of objective reality.

Swami always used to say that if he comes to us in a dream, it is not a dream but a visitation. He also used to constantly remind us that he was not the body, and did not encourage devotees to follow him as a physical being, or look on his form as an object of worship. Nonetheless, it was very difficult not to; especially if you had the grace (as I did) to witness Swami’s amazing smile first hand and experience his awesome presence. A few years ago I would have relished a visitation from the loving “God man” and would have felt so lucky and privileged that he’d blessed me in such a way. Even though my recent visitation was an unexpected and wonderful experience; received with equal relish, I interpret the meaning differently. Back then, if Swami the physical being would have been visiting me; I would not have seen his form as a symbol of the one eternal Self. Yes it’s true, that I would have known this, but confronted with Swami’s beautiful form, all thoughts of the formless would have flown away.

With regard to my recent experience, I enjoyed immensely basking in the presence and having my personal darshan of Swami’s form. But today, I understand what it represents and my interpretation of the visitation is that “The Higher Power” used a method that I would be able to relate to, to let me know that my little individual, egoic self has not been forgotten about. That for however long I have left in this body, and for whatever work I have left to perform, I am not alone; the loving bliss of eternal spirit will always be enfolding me.

Be Still

Posted on January 2, 2021 by Author Richard F Holmes

One thing that has become apparent to me in this crazy life, is that when it comes to the “realisation of the Self”, time and space are irrelevant. What I mean is, that it matters not where you are in the world or what time of day it is, the Self is always just as it is. You can only awaken exactly where you are and nowhere else. Of course, it is always nice to go on pilgrimages and to visit holy sites or places of beauty in order to induce feelings of peace and oneness with the “all that is.” But ultimately, it makes no difference whatsoever.

I remember my own personal experience when I received the inner call to visit the ashram of Sri Sathya Sai Baba back in 2009. There I was, at “The Abode of the Highest Peace”, yet at every opportunity I would go to the internet cafe to check emails or see how my football team was doing. Ramana Maharshi used to say, that there is no point in going to the Himalayas to sit in a cave, when all you do when you are there is think of home. He would also say, that we sit at home thinking that it will induce realisation of the Self if we go to the Himalayas, but once we get there we spend all our time wondering what’s going on back home. It doesn’t matter where we are in the world, if we are not ready and the mind is over-active then it will prevent us from from experiencing our true self, which is pure Being.

My own personal environment is a constant reminder to me that I have some way to go before realising that I am already realised (by that, I mean having the constant direct experience that I am already that which I am seeking). The little town where I live gives me constant reminders of my own petty judgements and prejudices, which will have to be dealt with before I get any lofty spiritual ambitions.

I have come to the conclusion that the only really effective form of spiritual practise, is to “be still.” Even recognised and traditional spiritual practises, such as yoga and meditation, only induce a temporary awakened state. The practitioner must at some stage return to the world. Simply being still, seems to be the best way to connect with the inner silence; the infinite cave of wisdom, which is effectively “the Self.” Giving up all ideas of doing and achieving also allows the higher power to work through us.

The root of all our pain and suffering is that most of us are not human beings (or humans being), we are humans doing!

For Better Or For Worse

Posted on October 5, 2020 by Author Richard F Holmes

Photo courtesy of Pixabay

The world truly does seem to be in chaos, but here is something to consider; another slant on things. Without wishing to bring politics into my blog, I think it is only the most naive of people who do not see by now that the role of the media is to cause fear and mayhem amongst the masses; thus, fanning the flames of division.

But, the truth is that negativity is very loud (“hate screeches”, as Sri Sathya Sai Baba used to say), and peace is very soft and subtle. The egoic mind is easily led, and television news bulletins and sensationalist newspaper headlines effortlessly draw in the masses, like sheep, for their daily dose of brainwashing.

But, take the fragrance of a rose, for instance. There are no words to describe its beauty; it remains silent, yet says so much. What I’m trying to say here is that there is so much positivity to be taken from the amazing world in which we live. There is so much that the beauty of Mother Nature can teach us, if we are prepared to look. The thing is, beauty doesn’t screech; it simply exists as it is, in subtle splendour.

We can also look for our own subtle splendour, that is our essential Being; who we really are. This is the peace that passes all understanding that can only be found within ourselves. Things always seem to be descending into chaos, because hate and fear are always shouting. But, in reality, we are only a witness to that chaos; the eternal witness, to be more precise. The world may sometimes appear to be getting better AND worse at the same time, but remember, for better or worse, the world is in a constant state of flux because it is ultimately an illusion; it is consciousness in motion. The underlying, changeless, absolute truth ( who we really are) is always simply as it is, and is always accessible to us if we will just look beyond the madness.

In my next post I’m going to share with you a very simple exercise that will help you to focus on your inner subtle splendour, and shut out the screeching that wants to spin you a yarn and cause you to lose yourself in the world. Hang in there people, I’ll be back in a few days!