Being Looked After


I’ve been thinking lately how unbelievably lucky I am.  Having said that, I’m sure it’s true to say that I’ve earned my luck over many lifetimes, but I can’t help thinking how unbelievably lucky I am that the Divine looks after me in the way that he/she does.  Indeed, I am living proof that the phrase ”somebody up there must have been looking down on me” is very apt.  In the earlier stages of this life I got myself into some sticky situations because of my naivety and desperation to ”belong” and later as a soldier stationed in Germany my choice of haunts left something to be desired; but miraculously I always seemed to avoid trouble.  More recently my ignorance of certain matters has left me in extremely vulnerable situations, but again, I remain unscathed.

At the age of 14 I’d got in with the wrong crowd.  I’d had very difficult relationships with my parents (for different reasons) and got sucked into friendships simply out of a desire to be accepted and to belong.  I didn’t understand back then that to simply be me was the only identity I would ever need and went from living one lie to the other.  These friends came and went because they were not true friends, but by the time I was 16 I was hanging out in the West End of London a few nights a week, specifically the soho area.  I had been introduced to the area by one of these friends who was a couple of years older than me and much more worldly-wise.  I took to hanging out in seedy clubs, sometimes not heading back to North London until after 07.00 a.m. or even later.  These clubs were frequented by prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, thieves and muggers, but somehow I never encountered any serious trouble.  Whenever trouble was brewing something always happened that kept me out of danger.

By the time I joined the army and got stationed in Dortmund in the then West Germany my only true friend was alcohol.  I became like a split personality; on one hand I kept people entertained with my impressions and wit; but that was just a front for my other self, who was quite depressed and withdrawn.  I didn’t like the army because of the hypocrisy and I didn’t like the squaddie mentality of wanting to beat people up after a few drinks; I was a happy drunk (when I wasn’t being depressed).  I was attracted, for some reason, to the seedy side of Dortmund which was ”under the bridge”.  It was a standing joke amongst the lads; and sometimes before descending on ”Der Stadt” we would say to each other ”whatever happens tonight I’m not going under the bridge”.  The bridge in question was a railway bridge in Dortmund City Centre.  All the nice respectable places were before the bridge, but once you went under the bridge it was a real den of iniquity.  The standing joke was that even as we were saying it we knew that after a skin-full of beer we would always end up there.  Quite often I would go down town on my own and go to the pubs under the bridge.  Looking back it was a very dangerous thing to do; British squaddies, after all, were not the most popular species in Dortmund City Centre.  I would go to some real holes on my own, but not once did I ever encounter any trouble.  I could relate several more stories from my teenage and army years as examples of being looked after but it would make this post too long, however, in more recent years there are other examples of how I have constantly been protected and I’d like to finish by sharing two of them with you.  Both of these examples involve cars.

What I know about cars can be written on the back of a postage stamp; to me cars are for driving and nothing else.  Sometimes I check my oil and water, but mainly I just drive my cars and hope for the best.  I bought a second-hand Toyota in 1999, it was a 1992 model with a genuine 28,000 miles on the clock.  I kept the car for nine years and never had one mechanical fault with it.  I only cleaned it a handful of times during that period as well because a car, to me, is simply a means of getting from A to B.  So, during the time I had the Toyota I only had to deal with natural wear and tear, such as buying new tyres occasionally, new wiper blades, a new battery (once) and just general servicing; renew spark plugs etc.

After I’d had the car roughly eight years, someone remarked one day about the good condition that it was apparently in.  I explained how long I’d had it and that I’d had no problems with it.  Then they said to me ”what about the cam belt”.  I didn’t know what the cam belt was and kind of just gave an indifferent reply.  Some time later I was having a similar conversation with a friend and she asked the same question about the cam belt, to which I gave a similar reply.  When she explained to me that the cam belt is very important and that if it snaps you might as well kiss your car goodbye, I thought that maybe I should look into it.  To cut a long story short, the car suddenly started to develop wear and tear problems that were quite major and in the space of a couple on months I had a lot of work done on it that cost a small fortune.  But the mechanic who carried out the repairs said he had never seen anything like it.  He was a nonreligious/spiritual person but even he said ”someone up there must have been looking down on you”.  Apparently you should change your cam belt about every 60,ooo miles.  When I eventually got it changed (it was the original belt from new) it had done over 166,000 miles.  The mechanic said it was a miracle it didn’t snap.  Also the radiator was completely rotten and the brake pads (also the original from new) were apparently right down to the metal.  Yet that car started first time every time, even throughout cold winters.  The brakes always worked perfectly, I never topped up the water once in the nine years I had it and it always ran like a dream.  Eventually, because it had started to cost me so much money I gave it away to the mechanic who had given me such good service over the previous couple of years.

The same mechanic sold me my next car, that I’m still driving; although I haven’t had the same good fortune with this one.  Well, having said that it would depend on your perspective.  It’s not relevant to mention various problems I had with the new car, but an incident in June 2009 is very relevant.  At the time I was working part-time on a site that housed adults with learning disabilities.  I drove onto the site and down to the unit where I was supposed to be working.  Because of the number of cars already taking up spaces I had to park up on a grass verge until staff on the earlier shift had gone home.  I went inside the unit and a few minutes later a colleague came in and asked if he could have a word with me.  He was quite embarrassed to have to tell me that he had reversed into my car with a works vehicle and put a dent in the front off-side wheel arch.  I could see that he felt awful about this, so I just said to him ”don’t worry it’s only a car”.  He promised me faithfully he would get it fixed no matter what and we just left it at that.

However, when I went to move the car into a proper parking space I was puzzled as to why it wouldn’t move.  Another colleague who was standing nearby was looking on and I could see he was trying to tell me something.  I got out of the car to find that both of my front wheels were pointing inwards, and my colleague informed me that it looked as though the front tracking rod had snapped.  This meant the car was undrivable.  It was also very strange because the colleague who reversed into my car was only travelling at about 5 MPH.  It soon became apparent to me why my car had been rendered unroadworthy in such strange circumstances.  My other colleague pointed out that if the tracking rod snapped at such low impact it must have been ready to go at any time.  The realisation then hit me that if it had snapped whilst I was on the motorway or even a major A road, then I would not be in a position to tell the tale.

It’s only since Sri Sathya Sai Baba came into my life in 2001 that I have really noticed that I am most definitely protected by the hand of grace.  I honestly don’t know why the good Lord protects me in this way; I can only assume that there are plans for me that do not involve me leaving this earthly life just yet.

Yes, its great being looked after and I’m so grateful for it.  The Divine certainly does have strange ways of protecting his children; but guess what?  I’m not complaining.

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We Shouldn’t Let Our Love Become A Burden


In the last few days certain events have prompted me to muse on an experience I had when I had not long found my spiritual pathway.  Since the 1980’s when spirituality first peered over the horizon I’d been stumbling around in blind alleys and dark corridors getting absolutely no where.  Finally in 2001 I found my right pathway with a surge of awakening.  However, my enthusiasm far outstripped my knowledge and discipline and I stumbled a few times along the way.  One incident from this period sticks in my mind because it remains very relevant in today’s life.

I suppose I should rewind just a touch in order to paint a clearer picture.  Without going into too many details I had a reading with a medium in 1987 that completely blew me away.  The reasons for this I suppose were several, but the fact that it was my first venture into ”the paranormal” had a lot to do with the effect it had on me.  I went to see an elderly man called Tom Dowding in Wood Green, North London and the first thing he did was give me a picture he’d drawn of a spirit guide; simultaneously greeting me with ”I’ve been waiting for you”.  The introduction alone was enough to blow me away.  Anyway, the picture was of a Native American who Tom said was my guide.  I was so amazed that I went to see him again a few weeks later when he told me about another guide I had; an Egyptian.  At that time I did not understand that spirit (even the individualised soul),  in truth, is without name and form, and I, like many others after me, believed that the spirit world was full of souls running around dressed as Red Indians, Egyptians, Monks and Nuns etc etc etc.  I didn’t realise that the guides only take on these forms to satisfy human logic; i.e. we have a habit of wanting everything in its own box with its own label; everything has to have a name and every ”i” has to be dotted and every ”t” has to be crossed.  Such is the way of human logic.

As the years went by I knew the guides were there but I didn’t have any communication with them, apart from the occasional signs and signals they gave me to let me know they were around.  It was only when I started to open up to my own spirituality that I began to experience them more closely.  I could see them on the inner plains and they would communicate with me telepathically when I was in meditation.  I awoke so quickly that for a few months it was like being on a roller coaster, and I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was quite indisciplined.  When I actually started to sit in a spiritual development group in 2001 my clairvoyance exploded like a Roman Candle, and I was absolutely over the moon to be able to see and hear my guides, especially ”The Chief”.  It was such a novelty that we would have banter, which I thought was very clever indeed.

I was quite disappointed one evening when my mentor informed me that it was time for my Native American guide to step back and allow a beautiful celestial being of greater awareness to take me under his wing.  Of course I welcomed my new friend with open arms, but me and The Chief had developed such a bond of love that I couldn’t let him go.  Within a few weeks my mentor informed me in a way that was very clear and concise that if I did not wish to move on along my pathway, then that was fine; God would not love me any more or any less and I had the freedom of choice.  But if I was serious about my spiritual development then I needed to let The Chief go and give my new friend ”sole rights” to my development.  I accepted this and allowed my Native American friend to step back in the knowledge that he would always be somewhere around but it was no longer in line with my soul purpose for us to have such a close relationship.

My new friend was amazing; so much so that I carried straight on with him where I left off with The Chief.  There was some banter and we became very, very close very quickly.  But one day in meditation my friend decided that I needed to be shown a way that was more in line with my soul purpose.  All of a sudden one of my arms, I think it was my right arm, became quite painful.  It was such a strange sensation that there are no words to describe it aptly.  It was like I was holding a weight that was far too heavy to be held, but at the same time I was not able to put it down.  When it started it was almost like having pins and needles in my forearm.  I thought my friend was just having a bit of fun with me but the sensation got more and more intense and seemed to go on for ages.  It became quite painful and I wondered what was happening.  When the pain eased off my friend spoke to me saying ”we shouldn’t let our love become a burden”.

I realised then that he had given me this experience in order to simulate being weighed down; and I knew exactly what he meant.  From that day on there was no more undisciplined banter and my deep, deep love for this amazing soul, and his for me, was expressed and felt in the silence of the heart.  I realised too that just because a soul works as a spirit guide it doesn’t mean they are highly evolved.  In the case of The Chief, he was a soul who was pretty much at the same level of evolution as me; it’s just that he was discarnate, and therefore had a clearer view of the bigger picture than me.  My growth was his growth; so what he did to help me also helped him along his pathway and the image of a wise Native American was simply to give me, in my ignorance, something on which to focus.  I still love The Chief dearly, and I know that he loves me, only these days we don’t allow our love to be a burden and hold us back.  Now to the whole purpose of this post.

When we are encased in flesh it is difficult for us to identify with anything other than the body and the senses and mind that go hand in hand with it.  We forget our true nature and allow our emotions to make our decisions for us.  We become emotionally attached to the extent that our vision becomes clouded and we cannot see the wood for the trees.  Sai Baba always used to say that we are all just passing clounds on this dreamland stage and should not base relationships on the physical form because it is only temporary.

Because of emotional attachment we become oblivious to the fact that the love we have for the special people in our lives goes much, much deeper than the physical.  We wrongly believe that we are apart when miles are put between us and we also wrongly believe that we get separated by so-called death.  The whole human race is interconnected by love, but also there are those special souls whom we have known and loved forever who will remain embedded within the very depths of our being for eternity.  To you I say this ”we shouldn’t let our love become a burden”.

The Uncreated Wilderness Of Bliss


We all start off as a tiny micro-atom within that great uncreated wilderness of bliss, the ”Infinite Absolute”, the super-conscious mind of God.  Then, as if at the behest of a Divine whim, we make the transition from the uncreated to the created, from the formless into form and  become a tangible part of ”The Divine Puppet Master’s” grand plan.  From the uncreated (God The Father) we descend into matter and mingle with and become a part of the cosmic vibration (The Holy Spirit) or ”Aum”, that flows through the whole of creation like a life sustaining blood stream flowing through a human being.

From the very nano-second that we descend from the ”Cosmic Bosom” of The Divine Mother, our sole (and soul) reason for being is to make our way back.  But how?

In the beginning was the word and the word was Aum.  But the Aum alone did not have the intelligence, so God also injected The Christ Consciousness (God The Son or The Only Begotten) into the equation.  Thus could we begin our journey from form back to the formless, from the created back to the uncreated.  In our physical state we lose sight of who we really are, being only able to relate to the “outer” world as we succumb to the tricks of the mind and the five senses.  But we have also been given the tools to make inner enquiry; enabling us to know God (ourselves) through actual experience as opposed to the theological concept taught by religion.  This also is an explanation of the Holy Trinity.

From beyond vibratory creation (God The Father) came the Aum, the vibration (The Holy Spirit), and into the vibration God injected intelligence or Christ Consciousness (God The Son).  Jesus never claimed to be the only son of God, indeed he proclaimed that we are all sons and daughters of God, and the reason that God made manifest his ”Only Begotten Son” or Christ Consciousness in its purest form in the body that we knew as Jesus, was so that Jesus could teach us that we all have the potential to be like him, ”But as many as received him, to them he gave power to become the sons of God” John 1:12-13  

The second coming is not going to be the day that a man with long hair and a beard, wearing a white gown and sandals comes walking down the street.  It will be the day that as individuals we resurrect the Christ Consciousness within ourselves, allowing us once again to ascend back to that uncreated wilderness of bliss.

Why Would You Need A Sidekick To Astral Project? 2


So, in the previous article we established why I have been escorted to various astral locations.  But in doing so the question arose as to why, if I already have experience of these places at various stages of my existence, do I have to experience them again in this lifetime.  The answer to this question, I believe, is simple and I shall now endeavour to explain.

We know that when we incarnate into flesh our limitless “God memory” is temporarily veiled from us.  We also know that each incarnation into flesh represents a gradual unfolding of awareness that leads us to a greater understanding of who we really are.  This unfolding is achieved via our experiences, regardless of whether we perceive them to be good or bad.  If our memories were not temporarily veiled from us we would still have access to ”the wisdom of the ages” during our time within the Earth dimension and we would be able to breeze through life, thus rendering the whole journey completely pointless; it is via our greatest hardships that we gain our greatest strengths.  We also get to know more about ourselves through our trials and tribulations.  So, with all this in mind it is apparent to me that the whole purpose of my astral journeys is to give me access to certain detail that has been temporarily screened from me.  It then jogs my memory to the extent that I have been able to write about the experiences, and in doing so, I have given others a glimpse into areas of creation that they would not otherwise have; areas of creation that exist beyond the Earth vibration.

I have been able to share with others such truths as; we are solid beings no matter what dimension we dwell in, we communicate mainly via telepathy beyond the Earth plane and that our thoughts materialise instantaneously on the astral planes.  These are just three examples but I think the reader will get the gist of what I’m trying to say here.

All that remains is for me to thank Melissa in sunny California for planting the seed in my head and prompting these two articles.  Thanks Melissa and I hope I have managed to satisfy your curiosity.

An Invisible Bee


Look how desire has changed in you,
how light and colorless it is,
with the world growing new marvels
…because of your changing.

Your soul has become an invisible bee.
We don’t see it working,
but there’s the full honeycomb.

Your body’s height, six feet or so,
but your soul rises through nine levels of sky.

A barrel corked with earth
and a raw wooden spile
keeps the oldest vineyard’s wine inside.

When I see you,
it is not so much your physical form,
but the company of two riders,
your pure-fire devotion and your love
for the one who teaches you.

Then the sun and moon on foot behind those.

~Rumi