Out Of My Mind

Confused?  You will be…

Wow!  What a statement, “out of my mind”.  There was a time when that was all I wanted to be; but it usually involved engaging the help of some really good drugs or a rather cheeky red.  These days being out of my mind has a whole new meaning.  I’ll rewind a bit first.

I remember when my true self was in the early stages of emerging.  I was quite involved with Spiritualism, and meditations were wonderous experiences with crystals, colours, angels, animals and spirit guides etc.  I remember thinking that I had really arrived somewhere; not realising that the experiences I was having, although very pleasant, were of the mind.  The universe soon blew away any delusions of grandeur that I had about having “arrived”.  I believe it’s fashionable to refer to these kind of meditations as “visualisations” these days.

It was some years before I was to learn the true meaning of being out of my mind.  But eventually, Zen found me, introduced me to a state of “no-mind”, and took me in a whole new direction.  These days I very rarely meditate in the traditional sense, but quite often experience myself being nothing more than an observer as the shenanigans of life play out before my eyes.

However, I also find myself as confused as ever, as the universe (or whatever you want to call it) constantly highlights all the things that are still holding me back.  I am incessantly reminded of all my personal prejudices (as much as I try to deny them); they are constantly there, glaring at me, almost tormenting me and daring me to give them up.  They say that awareness, where there once wasn’t any, is half the battle.  But the universe is truly relentless in its efforts to completely send me out of my mind.

I hope this post finds you… out of YOUR mind.



It’s Been A Long Time…

13055835_10209349269508071_6546526421904411578_oIt seems like an absolute age since I communicated with you; probably because it is! You may also have noticed that I’ve deleted several of this blog’s pages and I’m not displaying my books and CDs anymore. Well, I’m going through a bit of a transition at the moment; sort of reinventing myself, although there doesn’t seem to have been much reinventing taking place. I’ve unpublished all my books and CDs because they somehow don’t seem to be who I am anymore. For sure, there will be more writing in the future, but only when the new me emerges from the obscuring clouds and I have something fresh to write about. It was important for me to communicate with you today because I really appreciate the following and don’t like to have huge gaps between posts. I suppose I should also give you a little bit of an update.

I’ve still got the fatigue (must be over five years now) that hampers me; but I manage it to the best of my ability and just have to pace myself. I’m still working at the hospice, which helps to keep me grounded, and since my last post I’ve had my 61st birthday (on April 22). The photo is the latest of me and was taken just a few days before. So, now all that is out of the way, here is a teaser for you…

Question: Do the following exist?

Angels, Krishna, trance mediumship, cheese sandwiches, spirit guides, Jesus Christ, physical mediumship, Buddha, life after death, clairvoyance, the spirit world, reincarnation, fish and chips, the afterlife, aliens and…my socks.

Answer: Yes; but only when the ego falsely identifies with the body.

December Promotions Update

aw-final-holmes.jpgAs promised here is the latest news on my December promotions. The latest free eBook I want to offer you is Angelic Wisdom Trilogy from 6 to 10 December. Like Musings Of A Medium this is my old work and is not representative of who I am or how I write today. However, I keep this piece of work alive because I have had so much positive feedback about it over the years. It started life as three individual volumes, before the days of digital publishing, and was originally produced on a “when it’s gone it’s gone” basis. Angelic Wisdom Volume One was actually my first ever book; written in 2002 and published in 2003. Simply click on the relevant link below to get Angelic Wisdom Trilogy FREE.

Free To Download From 6 to 10 December Inclusive

Download in Amazon UK http://ow.ly/rsxJD
Download in Amazon US http://ow.ly/rsxW7
Download in Amazon Germany http://ow.ly/rsyfr
Download in Amazon Italy http://ow.ly/rsI5c
Download in Amazon India http://ow.ly/rsIgl
Download in Amazon Canada http://ow.ly/rsIpK
Download in Amazon Australia http://ow.ly/rsIxk

Check out the link below and view my book trailer video for my latest work Wisdom Bytes; it took me minutes to make.


Sai Humour 5

I would like to share with you three more amusing littles stories from the Sai Humour series of articles.

In the interview room once Sai Baba asked a devotee ”how do you spell wife”?  Before the man could answer Baba said  ”W.I.F.E, Worry Invited For Ever”.  Then seeing the look of disappointment on the face of the man’s wife he corrected himself and very sweetly said ”Wisdom Invited For Ever”.

A young man with long hair was amongst a number of devotees who had been called for a group interview one day.  After teasing the man for looking like a woman Baba told him to get a haircut.  The man said ”will you cut the first lock Swami”.  Shaking his head in mock horror Baba said ”I am Baba not barber”!

The American Dr John Hislop was blessed with having spent a lot of time with Swami before he left this Earth in 1996.  One day Hislop was invited along with Baba and other devotees to the house of a very well meaning devotee for lunch.  On seeing that there was not going to be enough food to go round Baba said to Hislop ”go to the car and bring the food”.  Hislop, knowing that there was no food in the car went anyway, expecting Baba to have performed one of his miracles.  But even he did not expect the sight that greeted him.  He was astounded to see two angels, complete with wings, standing by the car holding trays of food.  He took the trays and went back in the house with his mouth wide open in amazement.  On seeing the look on his face Baba said ”shut your mouth Hislop, they are always there, it’s just that you do not see them”!

Being Looked After

I’ve been thinking lately how unbelievably lucky I am.  Having said that, I’m sure it’s true to say that I’ve earned my luck over many lifetimes, but I can’t help thinking how unbelievably lucky I am that the Divine looks after me in the way that he/she does.  Indeed, I am living proof that the phrase ”somebody up there must have been looking down on me” is very apt.  In the earlier stages of this life I got myself into some sticky situations because of my naivety and desperation to ”belong” and later as a soldier stationed in Germany my choice of haunts left something to be desired; but miraculously I always seemed to avoid trouble.  More recently my ignorance of certain matters has left me in extremely vulnerable situations, but again, I remain unscathed.

At the age of 14 I’d got in with the wrong crowd.  I’d had very difficult relationships with my parents (for different reasons) and got sucked into friendships simply out of a desire to be accepted and to belong.  I didn’t understand back then that to simply be me was the only identity I would ever need and went from living one lie to the other.  These friends came and went because they were not true friends, but by the time I was 16 I was hanging out in the West End of London a few nights a week, specifically the soho area.  I had been introduced to the area by one of these friends who was a couple of years older than me and much more worldly-wise.  I took to hanging out in seedy clubs, sometimes not heading back to North London until after 07.00 a.m. or even later.  These clubs were frequented by prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, thieves and muggers, but somehow I never encountered any serious trouble.  Whenever trouble was brewing something always happened that kept me out of danger.

By the time I joined the army and got stationed in Dortmund in the then West Germany my only true friend was alcohol.  I became like a split personality; on one hand I kept people entertained with my impressions and wit; but that was just a front for my other self, who was quite depressed and withdrawn.  I didn’t like the army because of the hypocrisy and I didn’t like the squaddie mentality of wanting to beat people up after a few drinks; I was a happy drunk (when I wasn’t being depressed).  I was attracted, for some reason, to the seedy side of Dortmund which was ”under the bridge”.  It was a standing joke amongst the lads; and sometimes before descending on ”Der Stadt” we would say to each other ”whatever happens tonight I’m not going under the bridge”.  The bridge in question was a railway bridge in Dortmund City Centre.  All the nice respectable places were before the bridge, but once you went under the bridge it was a real den of iniquity.  The standing joke was that even as we were saying it we knew that after a skin-full of beer we would always end up there.  Quite often I would go down town on my own and go to the pubs under the bridge.  Looking back it was a very dangerous thing to do; British squaddies, after all, were not the most popular species in Dortmund City Centre.  I would go to some real holes on my own, but not once did I ever encounter any trouble.  I could relate several more stories from my teenage and army years as examples of being looked after but it would make this post too long, however, in more recent years there are other examples of how I have constantly been protected and I’d like to finish by sharing two of them with you.  Both of these examples involve cars.

What I know about cars can be written on the back of a postage stamp; to me cars are for driving and nothing else.  Sometimes I check my oil and water, but mainly I just drive my cars and hope for the best.  I bought a second-hand Toyota in 1999, it was a 1992 model with a genuine 28,000 miles on the clock.  I kept the car for nine years and never had one mechanical fault with it.  I only cleaned it a handful of times during that period as well because a car, to me, is simply a means of getting from A to B.  So, during the time I had the Toyota I only had to deal with natural wear and tear, such as buying new tyres occasionally, new wiper blades, a new battery (once) and just general servicing; renew spark plugs etc.

After I’d had the car roughly eight years, someone remarked one day about the good condition that it was apparently in.  I explained how long I’d had it and that I’d had no problems with it.  Then they said to me ”what about the cam belt”.  I didn’t know what the cam belt was and kind of just gave an indifferent reply.  Some time later I was having a similar conversation with a friend and she asked the same question about the cam belt, to which I gave a similar reply.  When she explained to me that the cam belt is very important and that if it snaps you might as well kiss your car goodbye, I thought that maybe I should look into it.  To cut a long story short, the car suddenly started to develop wear and tear problems that were quite major and in the space of a couple on months I had a lot of work done on it that cost a small fortune.  But the mechanic who carried out the repairs said he had never seen anything like it.  He was a nonreligious/spiritual person but even he said ”someone up there must have been looking down on you”.  Apparently you should change your cam belt about every 60,ooo miles.  When I eventually got it changed (it was the original belt from new) it had done over 166,000 miles.  The mechanic said it was a miracle it didn’t snap.  Also the radiator was completely rotten and the brake pads (also the original from new) were apparently right down to the metal.  Yet that car started first time every time, even throughout cold winters.  The brakes always worked perfectly, I never topped up the water once in the nine years I had it and it always ran like a dream.  Eventually, because it had started to cost me so much money I gave it away to the mechanic who had given me such good service over the previous couple of years.

The same mechanic sold me my next car, that I’m still driving; although I haven’t had the same good fortune with this one.  Well, having said that it would depend on your perspective.  It’s not relevant to mention various problems I had with the new car, but an incident in June 2009 is very relevant.  At the time I was working part-time on a site that housed adults with learning disabilities.  I drove onto the site and down to the unit where I was supposed to be working.  Because of the number of cars already taking up spaces I had to park up on a grass verge until staff on the earlier shift had gone home.  I went inside the unit and a few minutes later a colleague came in and asked if he could have a word with me.  He was quite embarrassed to have to tell me that he had reversed into my car with a works vehicle and put a dent in the front off-side wheel arch.  I could see that he felt awful about this, so I just said to him ”don’t worry it’s only a car”.  He promised me faithfully he would get it fixed no matter what and we just left it at that.

However, when I went to move the car into a proper parking space I was puzzled as to why it wouldn’t move.  Another colleague who was standing nearby was looking on and I could see he was trying to tell me something.  I got out of the car to find that both of my front wheels were pointing inwards, and my colleague informed me that it looked as though the front tracking rod had snapped.  This meant the car was undrivable.  It was also very strange because the colleague who reversed into my car was only travelling at about 5 MPH.  It soon became apparent to me why my car had been rendered unroadworthy in such strange circumstances.  My other colleague pointed out that if the tracking rod snapped at such low impact it must have been ready to go at any time.  The realisation then hit me that if it had snapped whilst I was on the motorway or even a major A road, then I would not be in a position to tell the tale.

It’s only since Sri Sathya Sai Baba came into my life in 2001 that I have really noticed that I am most definitely protected by the hand of grace.  I honestly don’t know why the good Lord protects me in this way; I can only assume that there are plans for me that do not involve me leaving this earthly life just yet.

Yes, its great being looked after and I’m so grateful for it.  The Divine certainly does have strange ways of protecting his children; but guess what?  I’m not complaining.

We Shouldn’t Let Our Love Become A Burden

In the last few days certain events have prompted me to muse on an experience I had when I had not long found my spiritual pathway.  Since the 1980’s when spirituality first peered over the horizon I’d been stumbling around in blind alleys and dark corridors getting absolutely no where.  Finally in 2001 I found my right pathway with a surge of awakening.  However, my enthusiasm far outstripped my knowledge and discipline and I stumbled a few times along the way.  One incident from this period sticks in my mind because it remains very relevant in today’s life.

I suppose I should rewind just a touch in order to paint a clearer picture.  Without going into too many details I had a reading with a medium in 1987 that completely blew me away.  The reasons for this I suppose were several, but the fact that it was my first venture into ”the paranormal” had a lot to do with the effect it had on me.  I went to see an elderly man called Tom Dowding in Wood Green, North London and the first thing he did was give me a picture he’d drawn of a spirit guide; simultaneously greeting me with ”I’ve been waiting for you”.  The introduction alone was enough to blow me away.  Anyway, the picture was of a Native American who Tom said was my guide.  I was so amazed that I went to see him again a few weeks later when he told me about another guide I had; an Egyptian.  At that time I did not understand that spirit (even the individualised soul),  in truth, is without name and form, and I, like many others after me, believed that the spirit world was full of souls running around dressed as Red Indians, Egyptians, Monks and Nuns etc etc etc.  I didn’t realise that the guides only take on these forms to satisfy human logic; i.e. we have a habit of wanting everything in its own box with its own label; everything has to have a name and every ”i” has to be dotted and every ”t” has to be crossed.  Such is the way of human logic.

As the years went by I knew the guides were there but I didn’t have any communication with them, apart from the occasional signs and signals they gave me to let me know they were around.  It was only when I started to open up to my own spirituality that I began to experience them more closely.  I could see them on the inner plains and they would communicate with me telepathically when I was in meditation.  I awoke so quickly that for a few months it was like being on a roller coaster, and I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was quite indisciplined.  When I actually started to sit in a spiritual development group in 2001 my clairvoyance exploded like a Roman Candle, and I was absolutely over the moon to be able to see and hear my guides, especially ”The Chief”.  It was such a novelty that we would have banter, which I thought was very clever indeed.

I was quite disappointed one evening when my mentor informed me that it was time for my Native American guide to step back and allow a beautiful celestial being of greater awareness to take me under his wing.  Of course I welcomed my new friend with open arms, but me and The Chief had developed such a bond of love that I couldn’t let him go.  Within a few weeks my mentor informed me in a way that was very clear and concise that if I did not wish to move on along my pathway, then that was fine; God would not love me any more or any less and I had the freedom of choice.  But if I was serious about my spiritual development then I needed to let The Chief go and give my new friend ”sole rights” to my development.  I accepted this and allowed my Native American friend to step back in the knowledge that he would always be somewhere around but it was no longer in line with my soul purpose for us to have such a close relationship.

My new friend was amazing; so much so that I carried straight on with him where I left off with The Chief.  There was some banter and we became very, very close very quickly.  But one day in meditation my friend decided that I needed to be shown a way that was more in line with my soul purpose.  All of a sudden one of my arms, I think it was my right arm, became quite painful.  It was such a strange sensation that there are no words to describe it aptly.  It was like I was holding a weight that was far too heavy to be held, but at the same time I was not able to put it down.  When it started it was almost like having pins and needles in my forearm.  I thought my friend was just having a bit of fun with me but the sensation got more and more intense and seemed to go on for ages.  It became quite painful and I wondered what was happening.  When the pain eased off my friend spoke to me saying ”we shouldn’t let our love become a burden”.

I realised then that he had given me this experience in order to simulate being weighed down; and I knew exactly what he meant.  From that day on there was no more undisciplined banter and my deep, deep love for this amazing soul, and his for me, was expressed and felt in the silence of the heart.  I realised too that just because a soul works as a spirit guide it doesn’t mean they are highly evolved.  In the case of The Chief, he was a soul who was pretty much at the same level of evolution as me; it’s just that he was discarnate, and therefore had a clearer view of the bigger picture than me.  My growth was his growth; so what he did to help me also helped him along his pathway and the image of a wise Native American was simply to give me, in my ignorance, something on which to focus.  I still love The Chief dearly, and I know that he loves me, only these days we don’t allow our love to be a burden and hold us back.  Now to the whole purpose of this post.

When we are encased in flesh it is difficult for us to identify with anything other than the body and the senses and mind that go hand in hand with it.  We forget our true nature and allow our emotions to make our decisions for us.  We become emotionally attached to the extent that our vision becomes clouded and we cannot see the wood for the trees.  Sai Baba always used to say that we are all just passing clounds on this dreamland stage and should not base relationships on the physical form because it is only temporary.

Because of emotional attachment we become oblivious to the fact that the love we have for the special people in our lives goes much, much deeper than the physical.  We wrongly believe that we are apart when miles are put between us and we also wrongly believe that we get separated by so-called death.  The whole human race is interconnected by love, but also there are those special souls whom we have known and loved forever who will remain embedded within the very depths of our being for eternity.  To you I say this ”we shouldn’t let our love become a burden”.

Can You Ever Be Victorious Without Winning?

In the aftermath of the riots here in the UK, and in view of all the drug, knife and gun crime that has swept the nation in recent years (which incidentally the media seem to delight in sensationalising) I thought it would be appropriate to write about something positive; because lets face it, the true nature of the human race is that of love and harmony; not violence.  I was therefore prompted to recall an incident that occurred back in the Summer of 2002 during the latter stages of the football World Cup, which was hosted by South Korea and Japan.

Anyone who is familiar with this tournament will be aware of the rather pointless match, that takes place prior to the final between the two losing semi-finalists, to see who finishes in third and fourth place respectively.  I say pointless for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, anyone who plays a competitive sport generally does so in order to win.  So for a professional football team to lose a final would be considered by most to be a failure; after all, no one remembers the losers?  With this in mind then, what professional footballer would want to finish third or fourth?  Because of this, over the years, countries have been inclined to use the third and fourth place play-off as a platform to give younger and squad players a kick-about.  Also because of the rules it is actually possible for a team to be considered the third best in the world without actually winning a match in normal playing time during the whole tournament.  For example, a team could qualify for the knock-out stages by drawing all three matches during the group stage and then draw their games in the knock-out stages but go through to the semi-finals by winning penalty shoot-outs.  They could then lose in the semi-final, draw the third and fourth place play-off, but win the match via a penalty shoot-out and thus be considered to be the third best International team in the world.  As I said….pointless!

But back in 2002 I remember visiting my mother one Saturday afternoon whilst the World Cup play-off for third and fourth place was being shown live on TV.  South Korea were playing Turkey and the final score was 3-2 but I can’t remember who actually won (the word ”pointless” springs to mind)!  The crowd was made up largely of South Koreans who were absolutely delighted that their small country had made such an impact on the tournament, but there were also lots of other nationalities too.  At the final whistle something quite incredible happened that I’d never seen at the end of a football match before; I haven’t seen a repeat since either.  Both sets of players intermingled and joined hands in a long line and ran towards one section of the crowd.  That simple gesture of togetherness seemed to have a real impact on everyone in the stadium.  There was a surge of cheering and happiness, and in that moment as I watched from across the miles, my heart was touched and I had a tear in my eye as I felt the tangible feelings of harmony that existed between players and spectators alike throughout the stadium.  It was a truly amazing moment that will remain with me forever.

It may have been a pointless game that no team could truly win, but it spawned a great victory for the human race.


Why Would You Need A Sidekick To Astral Project? 3

Just when I thought it was safe to go back to the astral planes…. someone queried (and very validly) a point I made, or rather didn’t make, in the previous article.  Namely, if we have already learned lessons and gained knowledge from previous incarnations, why are these lessons then blocked with each subsequent incarnation, thus making our journey more difficult than it needs to be?  This query was prompted by what I said about the memory being temporarily veiled just prior to incarnation.  This is the answer I gave.

The lessons we have already learned are not blocked as such; once a lesson has been learned it does not need to be re-learned over and over again.  Further, with regard to lessons already learned, our inner guidance prevents us from falling into age old traps.  For example, would anyone with half an ounce of spiritual understanding contiunue to put their hand into the fire in the knowledge that it’s damn hot and going to hurt like hell?

The adventures we face with each sojourn into the flesh represent things that still need to be resolved in order for us to take further steps towards enlightenment; not things that have already been resolved.  So, if we had prior knowledge of the answers it would render doing the exam pointless, and we would never truly be able to move on from where we are stuck.  To use an anaology to clarify this further; I could go on the internet and purchase a bogus degree in nuclear physics but it wouldn’t make me a nuclear physicist.  The worlds greatest leaders and spiritual teachers, sports professionals etc. achieved success by making great sacrifices and enduring great hardship.  What I’m trying to say is that no one ever achieves anything truly worthwhile by ”breezing” through a process.  There has to be some form of sacrifice along the way.

The phrase ”no pain, no gain” springs to mind.

Why Would You Need A Sidekick To Astral Project?

Someone wrote a review of my book, Astral Travelling, The Avatar and Me, recently.  It was by no means a bad review, but it posed a question that had only ever fleetingly popped through my mind; “why should you need another soul on hand to assist you if you astral project?”  Why should you indeed!  I must admit that it made me think; I’d never given it any serious thought before, I was just grateful for all the amazing experiences I’d had over the years.  So, the question having been posed, my brain whirred into action.

The first thing that occurred to me is that I don’t consider what I do to be astral projection.  To me ”astral projection” implies that you are going to project yourself to a predetermined destination; therefore, you are setting off with a clear goal in mind.  I have indeed astrally projected in the past, but this has always been on an inner level; usually in a group and usually for the purpose of clearing a house where there are negative energies causing mischief.  I have also astrally projected on my own, on an inner level, to visit people I know for various purposes.  What I wrote about in my book, to me anyway, has got nothing to do with astral projection.  It’s also got nothing to do with what are commonly referred to as near death experiences, where someone may find themselves hovering over their own physical body.

I’m aware that people may have their own definitions and opinions of these subjects and may disagree, but I would like to point out as well that I am not “of the norm” shall we say.  With very few exceptions I avoid the company of other mediums and psychics like the plague and also steer clear of anything remotely resembling mainstream new ageism, spiritualism and religion etc.  I have been guided in a certain direction, and that is the direction I’m going to take; in fact, I believe very strongly indeed that I have barely started my spiritual work yet.

When I astral travel, I never know where I’m going to end up; this is why I believe I get escorted to the destination.  I also firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and these destinations are carefully selected for me to gain the experience of them.  After all, I never get brought back; I always make my own way back simply by using the power of thought, or I seem to instantaneously end up back in my body if it’s just a fleeting visit.  So, what criteria are used to determine which particular destination and when?

The destinations are chosen because they represent significant points; milestones even, in my existence.  They are places I have visited on many occasions in the past; places where I have lived and places where I have worked.  Each and every one of us is a timeless and formless being of light.  But we have taken form at various stages and eras in imaginary time, in many dimensions and for many different purposes.  These places are places that I have no memory of whilst I am encased in flesh within the Earth dimension, but they are places that I actually know very well indeed.  This would explain why, when I encounter other beings on my travels, that they quite often appear to know me.  This has now thrown up another question.  If I have already experienced these places in the past, why do I need to experience them again during this sojourn into flesh?  Hmmm I feel another blog post coming on….. watch this space.

An Invisible Bee

Look how desire has changed in you,
how light and colorless it is,
with the world growing new marvels
…because of your changing.

Your soul has become an invisible bee.
We don’t see it working,
but there’s the full honeycomb.

Your body’s height, six feet or so,
but your soul rises through nine levels of sky.

A barrel corked with earth
and a raw wooden spile
keeps the oldest vineyard’s wine inside.

When I see you,
it is not so much your physical form,
but the company of two riders,
your pure-fire devotion and your love
for the one who teaches you.

Then the sun and moon on foot behind those.