I recently had what was quite an amazing experience. But it has taken me the best part of a week to share it because at the time I didn’t really know how I was going to put it into words. As you probably would expect, it’s another out-of-body experience, but it’s probably the shortest one I’ve ever had; lasting no more than a few seconds. Over the years I’ve had many short astral experiences and don’t normally bother to write about them. But this one was so symbolically profound that I felt I just couldn’t not share it.
Like most of my out-of-body experiences it started off as a dream; but for the life of me I do not know what this dream was about. What I do know is that it involved me being in darkness and feeling quite vulnerable; that is really all I can remember about it. At some point I was lying horizontally in this great and vast space, that was pure darkness. It was then that I felt the unmistakable presence of spirit enfolding me and I was conscious and aware that I was out of my body. However, my mind was still quite dopey and I wasn’t as wide-awake as I normally am when I’m free of my body. Because of this I still had a feeling of vulnerability; being a tiny speck in this infinite darkness. Then the most amazing thing happened. I didn’t see anything, but I felt myself being supported by hands. It felt as though there may have been more than one pair, but I cannot be sure. The symbolism of this experience is really quite uncanny, but what is just as uncanny is that the events I’ve just described seemed to take place within no more than a second or two.
On feeling the support of those hands I was immediately back in my body; and being the greedy soul that I am, I was slightly disappointed that I was not taken on a “proper” astral adventure. It was nonetheless a truly magical experience for which I am eternally grateful. Yes, it was definitely a case of “you need hands”!
A little over a few hours ago I had yet another amazing out-of-body experience, and I am going to share it with you here. Now before I go any further I want to reiterate that I stand by everything that I said in yesterday’s post My Amazing Life (click here to read http://ow.ly/mRkuH ). I say this because to paint an accurate picture of what led up to this morning’s astral journey I need to bare my soul; just a touch.
In recent times, like many people in these hard economic times, I have been wondering “where is it all going to end”. Things have been difficult to say the least, and in my humanness I have allowed circumstances to drag me down. To say that I have lacked motivation lately would be an understatement, and unless I have something specific to do, it is rare that I rise before 09:00 am in the morning. This morning was no different. I had been awake a long time, but continued to squeeze a lie-in out of what remained of the morning. At about 08:30 I must have drifted off to sleep because I started to dream. My thoughts must have been playing on my mind more than I realised because I first of all dreamt that I was laying in bed sobbing with a spirit friend looking down on me. Even though the form of spirit couldn’t be seen, there was a sign above that there was indeed a presence looking after me and I was grateful for this dear friend being there for me in my time of need.
The scene then shifted and I was turning up for work at a job I left back in 1986; it was NAAFI in Germany. The crazy thing was that the building I was trying to enter looked nothing like a NAAFI shop, but it was, if you know what I mean. Crazier still, I was fumbling with two plastic keys, that both felt as though they would break, in order to get through the largish wooden door, and… I was also naked (although I could not see myself I knew I was naked). Yes! It was one of those!
Also, I was turning up for work half-way through the day and within myself I knew I’d been doing this for a long time and I was wondering if I could still get away with it. I was trying to conceal my nakedness whilst at the same time get to my place of work without being noticed; how crazy is that? Then something else rather weird happened. As I approached a doorway my old friend Bob Childs was standing there. He looked young and kind of different, but it was definitely Bob. He had been the butchery manager at the last location I’d worked in for NAAFI; I was a Hi-Fi salesman in Herford in the old West Germany, and he had been a great pal. I haven’t seen Bob for over 27 years so why he’s popping up in my dreams I’ll never know; he appeared to be acting like a door keeper.
He looked at me kind of strangely, as if he knew me but he didn’t, and I passed through the doorway into the next room. It was at that point that I knew I was no longer dreaming. I was fully conscious and out of my body. It seemed as though I had arrived at a funeral (possibly the astral death of a soul about to take human birth). The characters there seemed bigger than normal, not fat, just bigger and if it had been an earthly scenario I would have said that they were aristocracy, or at least from very good stock. They were just looking at me with a sense of neutrality if that makes sense. What I mean is that it did not seem to matter that I had gatecrashed their event, but equally they were not over the moon to see me. I then started to move around, but instead of moving AROUND things literally, I just passed through them. I seemed to have what we would call a “funny five minutes” where I was just passing through objects and walls. All of a sudden there was more souls present, but these souls didn’t seem big like the others; they were just normal and they were observing me passing through solid objects. All this seemed to happen within the space of a nano-second and suddenly I was on the move; travelling at great speed through the darkness.
I was being carried and really enjoying the experience. At this stage I kept my eyes closed because I remembered the old days when I’d open my eyes and it would trigger an immediate return to my body. I sent out my thoughts of gratitude to my companion and reached down and held their hand. It felt soft and female. I did then open my eyes and I saw that I was travelling through what looked like an underground rail network. It reminded me of my time working on the London Underground back in the 1970’s, but these tunnels were so different. They were the same oval shape, but instead of being solid brickwork, they were constructed of cage wire and I had complete all-round vision. I could see the tracks and tunnels that were adjacent and I could also see out above me. All of a sudden we emerged from the tunnels and we were above ground. It was very bright and it reminded me of the outskirts of London. Almost immediately I was then back in my body.
I suspect that when we emerged from the tunnel network the location was most definitely of this world. It was very busy with lots of traffic and people; like a typical rush hour in the UK. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock and it was 08:50; the whole experience, including the dream, had been no more that 15-20 minutes.
A ridiculous statement really; how can you expect something that is unexpected? But, the unexpected did happen to me during the early hours of this morning. I call it the unexpected because it was something that I came to expect, as it was a semi-frequent occurrence, but then ended up wondering if it was ever going to happen to me again. Anyway… I’m aware that I’m rambling; I am, of course, talking about an out-of-body experience. Yes, apart from two very short excursions into the astral realms in the past nine months or so, I have been pretty redundant in that department. I chose not to write about the two aforementioned experiences because, aside from being quite short, they were also quite strange and I had a job getting my head around things. So, I took the decision to confine them to the archives of imaginary time.
My experience of this morning was also a little bit of an anti-climax but I am still going to share it with the world. Hey, can you believe that? I went on an astral journey and I’m describing it as an anti-climax. My, how times have changed. I remember how it was when I first started to experience this phenomenon; and now it would appear that I am turning my nose up if I am not suitably stimulated during the proceedings. How ungrateful can a man get? In truth, I have experienced so much over the years that I am fully aware that I have a much different reality to most people. Anyway, on with the story.
As is the case 99% of the time it started with a dream; then all of a sudden I realised I was out of my body, wide awake and on the move. For the first time ever I found myself being carried from the front. I sent out thoughts of gratitude to my companion and waited with bated breath to see what was going to occur. I was aware of entering a very old building and could just about make out some really old brick-work as we entered. I was still very much in the dark at this stage but I got a short but very clear glimpse of a building that would not have been out-of-place in an old black and white horror film. I should add here that this is simply my way of describing it and at no time did I feel that I was going to meet my doom, and I never felt threatened in any way. As we emerged from the darkness my companion set me down in a kind of narrow corridor. It was then that I got a good look at my young friend. In earthly terms I would describe him as being in his late teens to early twenties, he was wearing a yellow top and was quite fresh-faced.
We made our way down the corridor and my friend allowed me to lead the way. To the right I noticed a small room without a door and there was a very strange-looking character in there crouching down as though he was doing some kinds of exercises. I also noticed a rather flat looking dog laying on the floor of the corridor as we continued down. There was another room with no door a little further down on the right where I glimpsed two more strange-looking characters. My first thought was to think that these souls really needed help. But when I pondered this later on I came to the conclusion that I only thought this because in my human-ness I have great difficulty thinking outside the box, and it is a common human failing to believe that something or somebody may not be as it should be simply because it or they do not fit our idea of what is supposedly normal or right.
I continued down and paused to glance back just in time to see my companion disappear down through a bolt hole on the left hand side. This is quite normal; I’m assuming that my astral helpers are only permitted to accompany me so far for “reasons of the soul”. I did however manage to thank him again and say goodbye before he disappeared.
The next bit is quite difficult to describe but I shall do my best. I carried on and soon came to a point where the corridor veered off at a slight angle to the right, and in front of me, up above there was a gap between the wall and ceiling which was covered by a flap that looked like a piece of basic white sheet. I could see through the gap between the wall and sheet and it looked like an old fashioned barrack room on the other side. I now had to make a decision; do I carry on down the corridor or do I float up through the flap and see what’s beyond. Strangely, without making a conscious decision, I simply floated up and through the white sheet. On the other side, immediately on the right, was a couple of old-style army-type bunk beds. I should also add at this point that the whole complex of corridor and barrack room seemed as though it was underground.
I just floated on past the bunk beds and realised that the whole place was open plan and quite huge. There was a lot of souls wearing military-style uniforms, but they did not bat an eyelid as I floated past above their heads. I realised too that the area where the bunk beds were sited was actually quite small; probably a rest area, and as I made my way out into the open space it seemed more like a huge workshop, or even an aircraft hanger. Even though it looked decidedly military I was not surprised to note that there was not a single gun in sight; astral weapons simply don’t exist. Of course, my assuming that this was some kind of military area could also have something to do with not being able to think outside the box; this is simply how it looked to me.
Just as I was really looking forward to exploring I got that all too familiar feeling, and within what seemed like a micro-second, I was back in my body. So, as far as astral adventures goes it wasn’t that eventful. Did I really just say that? You must think I’m REALLY spoiled… well I am… AND extremely lucky.
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From December 27-29 inclusive, Fragments Of Divinity, a blog-style book of spiritual inspiration, will be FREE to download from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk
I have also held the opinion for quite some time that our out-of-body experiences contain messages of guidance for us in the same way that our dreams do. This is what I meant at the beginning of this article when I said it was being written on the principle that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, right down to the minutest detail. This is also supported by the fact that whenever I go on an astral journey I am always taken to a specific place; it is never random. So, with all this in mind I want to deal with the symbolism of the castle-like building made out of red stone.
Earlier that day I had seen a news bulletin announcing that Glasgow Rangers Football Club had gone into administration for millions of pounds of unpaid tax bills. For those around the world reading this who may not be familiar with British football, Glasgow Rangers are bastions of The Scottish League with a history of over 50 league championships behind them, they have also been victorious on countless occasions in domestic cup competitions. Over the years a number of Scottish teams have gone to the wall through financial difficulties, but you would never have thought in a million years, that the institution that is Glasgow Rangers, with its glittering history, would have followed suit. Although the club hasn’t folded, the situation it finds itself in is unprecedented in its history. Rangers ground is called Ibrox Park and during the bulletin, footage of the exterior of this grand old building was shown. It just happens to be made of red brick.
My red stone building was symbolic of Ibrox Park and the “fortress” that was Glasgow Rangers FC (the fortress representing the grip that Rangers have had on Sottish football over the years). The whole point of showing me this scene was as a reminder that everything on the Earth plane has its day and will eventually perish. A castle is representative of strength and security, but not even the “fortress” that was Rangers FC could continue without going through revolutionary changes. It’s also a reminder of the futility of putting our faith in “things of the world” because they are only temporary.
As for the muppet-like characters, now that is a strange one, although I do have my theories. I know that on the astral planes we can “think” ourselves instantly into different forms; and I have first-hand experience of this. Also, as stated earlier in this article, I honestly believe that all of our thoughts, feelings and actions within the Earth dimension have a knock-on effect that creates for us our own personal little astral world which is representative of where we are on our spiritual pathway. Now, if the place I was taken to is somewhere that has been created by my consciousness, all I can say is that there sure must be a lot worse places out there in creation. In all honesty, that place wasn’t half-bad at all. The musicians really seemed to be enjoying themselves, and the muppet-like characters to me, symbolise child-like enthusiasm. They also represent the little bit of chaos that continues to rear its head in my life from time to time. There is also another, much simpler theory that I have, which is that they could just have been souls who looked that way. Or, they “thought” themselves into those forms knowing it would make me smile and give me something to think about. I also believe that the purpose of me being exposed to high frequency music was so that I could reap its healing benefits; the healing being received on a level beyond my current comprehension.
I awoke this morning at about 06.40 a.m., and on going back to sleep, I had a dream (which was the usual strange affair) which led to an out-of-body experience. The thing about this astral journey though, is that it has made me look at things from a different angle. Now before I go any further I just want to say that this article isn’t meant to be set in stone, it’s just my personal theory that I concluded because of the strangeness of the experience.
I’m not even going to bother trying to relate the dream because it was one of those typical dreams where nothing makes sense and you find yourself in some kind of ridiculous scenario. But as the dream was tapering off, and just before I was aware of being out of my body, I can remember running in near darkness. I was alone, and at regular intervals I encountered dogs. Running towards dogs in almost total darkness didn’t seem very clever but I then became aware that, as I met the dogs head on, I could run in the air above them, thus avoiding any confrontation. All of a sudden I was travelling at terrific speed in total darkness and I was wide awake; aware also that I was being carried.
As we slowed down and entered into daylight I could see to my left a magnificent old-looking building. It was in the design of a castle, but it was like one of the many old buildings we have in the UK that have been made to resemble castles but have never actually been castles. There is one in Cirencester, about 10 miles from where I live, that is an annexe of Cirencester College. This one was made out of red stone and I noticed that it was “outside”, meaning that my companion and I had entered a building and as we were slowing down I could see this magnificent castle-like structure through the huge glass panelled windows.
The area we entered was quite busy and it looked like a cross between a hall and a large reception area. There was what looked like the kind of reception desk you would get in a hotel, but it was large and open planned. All around this reception-type area was the most beautiful ornamental glass. It was the colour of highly polished rose quartz, but translucent. I say “the colour of rose quartz”, but in reality the colour was not what you would see on the Earth plane. There were pieces of glass of all shapes and sizes, and all were incredibly beautiful. Next to the reception there was an area where a band was playing; they were definitely playing but I could hear no music. The strange thing was that some of the band members looked like they could have been characters from the muppet show on TV. They were definitely not animals, they just looked strange and reminded me of the muppets. As we came down to land a soul crossed our path, a tall male soul with fair hair, and he just looked at us quite blankly and carried on walking. We landed right across the other side of the hall to where we had entered and seemed to have the spot to ourselves. As my companion put me down I turned to see that it was a male soul who (in earthly terms) looked as though he was in his 40’s, he had grey hair and was of medium build and height. Even though I did not recognise him, I’ve done this enough times now to know that there will be some connection between us, that I will not be aware of because I only have my earthbound memory whilst in this physical body. I thanked him and said “good to see you”. He said to me “what do you want to do”.
As we stood interacting I noticed a long corridor going off from the opposite corner, diagonally, from where we came in. For some reason, that remains a mystery, I answered him in a half-hearted manner; it was as if a part of me knew it wasn’t to be.
So, instead of saying to him “I want to explore, show me around, what’s down the corridor” etc. I didn’t even get my half-hearted reply out of my mouth, and I was back in my body in bed. When I came back down to Earth and started to analyse the experience I was totally baffled; what with muppet characters and being half-hearted about wanting to explore. So, after a great deal of thought I have come up with the following theory, which works on the principle that literally EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
Firstly, and I have encountered this before but never given it much thought, why could I hear no music even though the band were clearly playing very enthusiastically? My feelings are that because this was the astral planes, where the vibration is higher than the vibration on the Earth plane, the frequency of the music coming from the instruments must have been beyond my hearing range. I may have been in astral form but I was still technically earthbound, and therefore I would not have been attuned to hear it.
I have felt for some time now that every astral journey I have has a specific purpose. I also know that we exist on many levels simultaneously. Now, we know that our thoughts create our lives, and we also know that beyond the realm of matter our thoughts materialize as our reality instantaneously. So my theory is that even though we may be in a physical body within the Earth dimension, our thoughts and actions can have an instantaneous knock-on effect within our astral existence. It’s obvious that we DO exist at an astral level simultaneously because our astral form is encased within our physical form. The previous day I had been in a neighbour’s house trying to help her with a computer problem, and in the house there had been a number of glass ornaments, some of which were a similar colour to rose quartz. One piece in particular had been quite beautiful. I feel that my fascination with this glass created a “thought impression” that materialized within the astral world of “semi-matter”. I honestly feel that we are not only creating our lives here, but we are also creating a kind of “personal astral world” all of our own at the same time.
I also feel that when my companion said to me “what do you want to do”, it wasn’t because he was going to show me around, it was because he DID show me around. I really do believe that even though I came back to my body, an aspect of me remained in that place and most certainly did get the tour. I know this all sounds crazy, but we have to remember that not only is earthly life illusory, but also astral life is illusory, because the astral planes are simply a stepping stone back to source.
I am going to finish for now because I don’t want this article to get too complicated. But I haven’t finished. There is the significance of the red stone building and the muppet characters to decipher yet. God bless and stay tuned.
Just when I thought my days of incredible astral adventures were over I’m blessed with the mother of all out-of-body experiences; if ever anything was worth waiting for, this most certainly was.
As in most cases it started as a dream, and not a very nice one, although not a
nightmare. The dream seemed to be centred on “basements”; and dark ones at that. At one point I found myself trying to clamber through a ground level window in order to get into a basement. The window was very narrow in height so I couldn’t struggle through, but width-wise it was more than long enough for my body. The reason I needed to clamber through was because a bomb was about to go off, although I didn’t see this bomb at any point. As dreams do, this one shifted, and I found myself in a dark basement where someone had stuck a pin in me. I think I pulled this pin out, but there was someone else whom I couldn’t see in the darkness who was not only trying to stick more pins in me, but also inject me. I was trying to keep this person at arm’s length and we seemed to take a tumble in the darkness. At this point I woke up but kept my eyes closed.
In my wakened state I was aware of the familiar feeling of being enfolded in a spirit presence. I was kind of hoping that I would now be taken on a journey, but I wasn’t holding my breath, given the length of time since my last significant experience. But I suddenly felt myself being carried off, and as is the norm when this happens, I sent out my thoughts to my companion expressing my gratitude. The journey seemed to go on for a while and when I was eventually dropped off I initially felt a bit disappointed. The journey had been so smooth but it seemed that I had been taken for a ride only to arrive straight back in my body. But I very quickly became pleasantly surprised. What made me think that I was straight back in my body was the continued darkness. But through this darkness I could just about make out someone coming towards me and I knew then that I had been taken to a specific destination. I could not make out this person’s face but they took my hand and led me into the darkness; and I followed in child-like innocence.
We arrived at what looked like the entrance to a classroom. There was a lot of activity; people milling around and comings and goings etc. What happened next was truly wonderful.
People seemed to be greeting each other with short hugs and kisses on the cheek. A young white male soul passed by on his way into the classroom and insisted (not in an aggressive way) that I kiss him on the cheek. I did this and noticed that although he was extremely active and energetic, there did not appear to be any warmth or emotion; it was almost mechanical. However, a fair-skinned black lady; very slender and beautiful, appeared from nowhere, came straight up to me and greeted me (calling me by name), she gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek saying how great it was to see me. I felt a very deep spiritual connection to her as if I’d known her forever, but it happened so fast and she disappeared into the classroom. I was then engaged in conversation with another darker black lady, and after we exchanged pleasantries, I said to her something like “you do realise I haven’t got a clue what’s going on here don’t you”. She acknowledged this, and even though we were communicating via telepathy, she opened her mouth to reveal the strangest looking teeth I’ve ever seen.
Another black lady who seemed to know me appeared. We greeted and I remember telling her how good she looked. She said I was looking good as well, radiating many different colours. Even in my out-of-body state this made me think, because even though I could see and touch all other souls present, I could not see my own astral form. I can’t remember exactly what I said to her next, but after she told me I was radiating many colours I told her that I had some sort of defect or dis-ease going on at the moment. I got the impression that she was a kind of therapist because in a really matter-of-fact way she said we could carry out some sort of healing process to correct it. Now I can’t remember her exact words but I think she said something like “that’s ok we can carry out a criminal treatment if you want” and she was nodding in the affirmative as she said it. Now the use of the word “criminal” here (if indeed that is what she said) is not in the same context as we would use it within the Earth dimension. It refers to something that can be likened to a “spiritual bug” that finds its way into us and causes reactions that are not in line with our soul purpose or spiritual pathway. Oh by the way, whatever it is I’ve got, I take full responsibility and acknowledge that somewhere along the way I’ve done it to myself.
I felt a great closeness with the souls in the classroom, especially the two black ladies who obviously knew me very well. But the feelings I had for these two very beautiful ladies were not of a sexual nature. They were feelings of a great depth and love of spirit that you only get when you have known someone for eternity; and they both seemed to know me inside out. But I felt a great affinity with everyone; it was as though this was a regular gathering, and I soon realised exactly what the purpose of the class was.
I noticed that all the greetings that had been going on, between everyone, not just myself, seemed to be rather gushing and over-the-top (with the exception of the light-skinned black lady who hugged and kissed me on the cheek). I also noticed whilst engaging with the other black lady, the therapist, that I was feeling a very definite emotion. Now in the past during out-of-body experiences I’ve never been aware of any defined emotion apart from the pure love of spirit. What I mean by defined emotion is this. Normally as we go about life we are quite oblivious to a lot of our emotions because we are so wrapped up in the earthly state of illusion. So, unless we are feeling particularly elated or sad we won’t necessarily be aware of our emotions; and in most cases will be oblivious when we are feeling emotions such as resentment, jealousy, greed etc. because they just blend in with our other thoughts and feelings. But I was aware of a definite feeling of pride; the pride that is very much ego attached and not the justified sense of pride you get for yourself or a loved one that comes with having achieved something worthwhile, for example.
Yes, it occurred to me that I was part of a class that taught freedom of ego, and what everyone was doing was unloading their earthbound ego within the astral realms where it could cause no harm. It all makes perfect sense; everyone present seemed to have a great sense of purpose, even the young white male who wanted me to kiss him on the cheek. We were all students having one of our regular get-togethers. That would explain the great feeling of togetherness.
Just as I was really enjoying myself I felt that all too familiar, and disappointing,
feeling of returning to my body. I just lay there in bed for a while pondering my wonderful experience with amazing friends and thinking how truly blessed I am.
Oh thank you my loving God for a wonderful life.
I am so very lucky. I know that death is nothing more than a figment of the imagination. I have been out of my body on many occasions and I have interacted with discarnate souls on the astral planes via telepathy. In my astral form I learned to pass through solid objects and I can also will myself back into my body when I become bored with the experience. Ah! I love that word ”experience”, for to experience is to know. But knowledge without experience is only theory or concept.
Yes, I am so very lucky, for I know from experience that this earthly life is nothing but a dream.
Extract One: ”At some stage, I really can’t remember when, I’d started having strange experiences during the night. I either dismissed these experiences as dreams or tried to convince myself that they simply hadn’t happened. One of the earliest that remains really vivid to this day was when I found myself travelling through the air at a terrific speed. It was quite dark and I found myself heading towards trees. It was a very hairy experience. I braced myself waiting for the impact, convinced I was going to get impaled on the branches. I was amazed when I realised I was simply flying through them as though they were not there.”
Extract Two: ”One of the most incredible of those early journeys was when I was transported to a house. I was dropped off outside and I remember stepping through the door and finding myself in a place that was dark. Whenever I recalled this experience I always referred to the house as “the dark and dingy place”. I seemed to step onto a landing and I was just standing there when all of a sudden my right hand felt warm. I looked down, and to my amazement, there was a small black child holding my hand. I recall at some stage that a rather rotund black lady appeared on the scene. I understand that I was being shown this house as a place that I was connected with in a previous life. It was a house where children suffered but the large black lady and I did our best to help these children.”
Extract Three: ”Without any prior indication, I entered into an involuntary state of meditation. I felt myself being bathed in pure love and all of a sudden I heard the most beautiful, sweet voice in my head. I can’t remember the words that were spoken because of my heightened state of being, but they were so, so sweet; like I was being spoken to by a father who loved me dearly. They were truly Divine words of love letting me know that Baba was with me. I just wish that I could remember exactly what was said. I didn’t want the experience to end, but I remain to this day, so eternally grateful for having had it.”
Extract Four: ”When I got to the steep part of the road I just gripped onto the wheel for dear life; it was at this point that I learned the meaning of white knuckle ride I was screaming for Baba now, literally, and I continued to hold onto the wheel for all I was worth. The car skidded, and even though I’ve known for ages that you are supposed to steer into a skid, what did I do? I can’t believe that I steered against it, but that’s what I did. The inevitable happened. I screamed some more and the car stalled again with the back end appearing to be in a ditch.
”I can’t remember if I got out of the car at this stage but I do remember starting it up again and putting it into gear. As before, I gave it a few revs, eased off the clutch and the car just started moving. Unbelievable! My heart rose as I thought I recognised a land mark through the whiteness that told me I was near the bottom of the hill. But it sunk again just as quickly when it appeared to be not so. As it turned out it was only the whiteness playing tricks on my eyes, and my heart rose again when I realised I was virtually at the bottom of the hill. “Nearly there”, I thought as I tried to gather myself for the last stage of the journey.”