Our Deepest Fear

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Author Richard F Holmes

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not in some of us, it is in everyone; and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Nelson Mandela

Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

Posted on May 19, 2011 by Author Richard F Holmes

Another thing that I wrote about in my book, Astral Travelling, The Avatar and Me, was my disgust at well-heeled Westerners in Puttaparthi lavishly dressed in Indian robes whilst tinkering with their expensive gadgets in the “Hanuman Hill Rock Cafe” (no hills and no rocks in this establishment by the way). But Baba had many ways of gently chiding me, as a loving Mother would a child, and showing me that he really did treat ALL in exactly the same way. There was a number of occasions during my first visit in October 2009 when Swami brought this particular personal prejudice to my attention. My thinking was, that considering the unbelievable poverty in India, if rich Westerners wanted to go to Puttaparthi and pretend to be Indian for a few weeks, then they should have lived in mud huts during their stay and deprived themselves of food. In my book I told of one such man, Tony, whom I wrongly presumed to be Italian. Tony turned out to be from Hertfordshire in the UK, not far from where I was born. But the purpose of this post is to illustrate how Baba gives us constant reminders of the faults that we ourselves need to work on and overcome, and how he does this with the most impeccable timing.

I had seen another man on the ashram (who also looked Italian), he was quite a large man, dressed in expensive looking robes. One day he was wearing a blue Indian style robe and trousers, and even had cuff links on the sleeves. I noticed this and the demon in me rose up as I pondered why someone would feel the need to dress in such a way in the house of God. When my stay came to an end I brought some amazing memories back home to the UK with me, and for some reason the image of this man in his expensive looking robes stayed with me too. It wasn’t long before I found out why.

In February 2010 I was blessed to receive the call again and made my second visit to Prashanthi Nilayam. To my amazement I noticed that many of the faces I had seen around the ashram during my first visit were still there. Although you are only actually allowed to stay on the ashram for a limited period of time, these people were obviously staying in the village in private accommodation. I even bumped into Goran, a Croatian man who I shared a room with during my first visit. Lo and behold I also caught glimpses of the large Italian looking man (still wearing expensive looking robes) on a number of occasions.

Now at this time Baba’s health was not what it used to be and he no longer glided along amongst the masses during darshan. It had got to the point where interviews were becoming more and more rare and Swami would not come out as often as he used to. During morning darshan for instance, Swami would very seldom make an appearance. So I was utterly amazed when I was sitting in darshan one day towards the end of my stay……. who did I see making his way towards the interview room in the mandir? Correct! It was the large Italian looking man, looking resplendent in his finest robes. Swami had choreographed proceedings so that I was sitting in exactly the right place at the right time to be able to observe this. Showing me once and for all that God has no prejudice, no judgement and embraces all of his children with the same limitless unconditional love.

In spite of Swami’s noble efforts I still haven’t quite mastered the lesson of not judging a book by its cover. If I was still at school my report would say “must do better”!

Swami Is More Omnipresent Than Ever

Posted on May 16, 2011 by Author Richard F Holmes

It is now three weeks since dear Baba left his physical form, and it is apparent to me that he is just as Omnipresent, if not more so, than ever. No doubt millions of devotees all over the globe will be having the same thoughts, having experienced such as I have, the power of Swami’s love since his “departure”.

This demonstration of the awesome power of Sri Sathya Sai reminds me of my experiences during the first few days of my visit to Prasanthi Nilayam during October 2009. At one stage I ended up sitting on a wall in the ashram blubbing like a child. The reason being that The Avatar very rarely guides us and touches us in ways that we expect. I had felt Baba’s love in my heart for many years, indeed I had been reduced to tears of joy on many occasions by the merest touch of this most Divine Spirit. Now here I was in the very grounds of his “house”, The Abode of The Highest Peace, basking in the Avatar’s love, yet all I had experienced was hassle and a feeling of great isolation*. This is not what I expected, and I was in despair.

But the Avatar always knows what he is doing and this situation was no different. During those first few days on the ashram I experienced having no control over my life whatsoever. I experienced feeling as insignificant as a single grain of sand in the Sahara Desert. I felt as though I was being controlled like a puppet; it was as though there was some unseen force pulling the strings and my body was moving in accordance with this motion. Every move I made, every corner I turned came to a dead end, a brick wall. I was completely helpless….. and that was frightening, believe me. It was as though my entire life flashed before me (though not literally, it was just a feeling) and the conclusion was that the whole lot, all I had seen, done and experienced was of no consequence whatsoever. It had no significance, no meaning; I was frightened. Why had God in human form called me to his house to treat me in this way. My first thought was to condemn Baba for “letting me down”. Another thought told me that there was a reason for this, but the result was total confusion. But God knows best!

As time went on the realisation came to me that this was Swami’s way of giving me a first hand demonstration of his awesome power. He knows each of us inside out. he knows all our thoughts even before we think them, but most importantly…. he knows our hearts and he knows exactly what each of us NEEDS, as opposed to what we think we want, in order to grow spiritually. For some people Baba manifested rings and necklaces out of thin air, for others he materialised vibhuti ash, other people were given personal interviews, but in my case Swami chose to frighten the life out of me in order to demonstrate his Divinity. Don’t you just love him!

* For a fuller explanation please refer to my book Astral Travelling, The Avatar and Me, UKUnpublished ISBN 978-1-84944-073-8

Aftermath

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Author Richard F Holmes

It’s now seven days since Swami left his body and the dust appears to be settling. It is apparent, however, that Baba is not conspicuous by his absence, rather the opposite. He is just as present as ever, if not more so, it’s just that he is no longer identifiable by his beautiful physical form; and beautiful it most certainly was. I’ll never forget the first time I saw him close up. He was (and is) actually beautiful. I wrote in my book “Astral Travelling, The Avatar and Me” that I never ever dreamed in a million years that I would end up describing a man as beautiful. But Swami was definitely not of this world and his form was most exquisitely beautiful.

Like other devotees I have spoken to I am more determined than ever to carry out Swami’s will in the aftermath of his physical demise. But I feel a pull in a different direction. I feel alienated from the Sai Baba groups, as though my time is done there and pastures new beckon. It’s actually quite exciting, with all the changes happening around the planet and the consciousness of the human race rising as I type.

For me there was one particular thing that disappointed me over the last week or so. In the UK there was hardly any media coverage (which is not a bad thing) but what little coverage there was just HAD to mention all the negative stuff that’s been circulated about Swami over the years. They just couldn’t resist it could they. They just had to slip into the story all the horrendous and unfounded allegations levied against a wonderful soul who gave so much and took nothing in return. Friends circulated some photos via email of Baba’s last darshan on March 25th. He looked so frail and ill…..but what was he doing…..blessing the masses, that’s what. He knew he was leaving but he was still giving. I find it so tragic and sad that the media have never been able to see this. It’s such a shame that in an industry that supposedly prides itself on reporting news in a truthful and factual way, they choose to compromise their principles for the sake of a tacky story.

Baba lives! He is more omnipresent than ever.

Jai Sai Ram

God Goes Home

Posted on April 25, 2011 by Author Richard F Holmes

Easter Sunday 24 April 2011 started off as a normal day. I was in no hurry to get out of bed, eventually doing so at around 09:20. Whilst having my first cup of tea of the day I went about my morning routine of going online and posting my thought for the day on Facebook and checking other online stuff. I went into one of my email addresses and there was one solitary email, from my friend V in South Africa. It was very short and to the point; it said quite simply “Swami has left”. I was quite numb at first. My beloved Swami, Sri Sathya Sai Baba had left his physical body. There had been signs for some time that Baba was getting ready to go, and in recent weeks it became increasingly apparent that devotees were going to have to accept that this was the case. It was still hard to believe though; you don’t expect Swami to go, simply because he has always been there. For a number of hours I cried intermittently; not out of grief, for I know there is no such thing as death, but for the sheer love of Baba and the realisation that he gave so much to us, yet took nothing for himself. His love was, and still is, boundless and I am truly blessed to have been touched by Baba’s love on many, many occasions.

I count my blessings that I received the call to go to Baba’s ashram, Prasanthi Nilayam (abode of the highest peace), on two occasions in the 18 months preceding his physical departure. It was during my second visit in February 2010 that I got my first hint that “Divine Mother Sai” may be preparing to leave. I was chatting to an American guy who had an apartment in Puttaparthi, where the ashram is situated. He was saying how Swami’s physical health had been going rapidly downhill and that he had made an unprecedented gesture. Baba had made an announcement formally inviting devotees from all over the world to attend the ashram during 2010, on a pilgrimage basis. My friend told me that this had never been done before in all the years that Baba had been resident at Prasanthi (since the 1940’s). My friend went on to say that he felt Baba was getting ready to leave his body and this was his parting gesture of love to devotees worldwide. Because of the sheer volume of people the pilgrimage was organised with the utmost precision and only so many countries at a time could attend, for periods of ten days only. Of course, this only applied to the organised pilgrimages; anyone can go to Prasanthi as long as they receive the inner calling “not even 20,000 horses can bring you here if you are not called” Baba

At the time I remember thinking that this was not to be taken seriously, and I politely humoured my American friend. Little did I know how right he was. Now as I sit here and muse about this strange day it hasn’t quite sunk in that Sri Sathya Sai Baba has left his physical body. Probably because I’ve had so many inner experiences with Baba…… and a physical body has never been essential to our relationship in the past…. so why should it be now? He always touched me with his love across time and space; so often my eyes welled up with tears of joy as he enveloped me in his loving light. On one occasion he even blessed me with an astral experience by lifting me from my physical body and carrying me off into the ether.

I suppose that, at some stage, even God has to go home…..but I don’t expect it to change my relationship with him.

Jai Sai Ram